Bukemono
by Hime Temari
Summary: Two people whose faith in love was lost, betrayed by the people they most held dear, find new meaning and a second chance in each other. Kept apart by a war-torn country, they battle against the odds in one last attempt at happiness.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurounin Kenshin or any of its characters

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurounin Kenshin or any of its characters. This is a work of fiction.

1

_**Of all base passions,**_

_**fear is most accurs'd**_

_SHAKESPEARE_

_I sat in a dark corner of the kitchen, listening to the raucous laughter coming from the room next door. My eyes were heavy with sleep, but I was too afraid to close them._

_My father's friends could become quite rough on nights like these, and I preferred to stay out of their way._

_Jasmine shifted slightly, mumbling something about food while clutching the blanket tightly in her one hand. _

_I felt bad for her. She was becoming thinner, as was I. We had to be careful with what we had since there wasn't all that much to go around. _

_My father's incessant gambling was starting to affect us. He either gambled away all his earnings or ended up spending it on something like sake. Perhaps if Ka-san were still around, things would be different. _

"_Jade! JADE!"_

_I jumped in surprise, but quickly pushed myself to my feet and hurried over to the door._

"_Yes Otosan?"_

"_Bring another bottle of sake."_

"_Hai."_

_Body trembling, I hurried back to the kitchen and rummaged around for another bottle. There wasn't much left._

_Good._

_That meant they would be finished soon. I didn't want another fight to break out, like the last time. When a group of men got together like this to gamble and drink, only bad things happened._

_I went back to the room, careful not to drop the bottle. My father was waiting impatiently._

"_What took you so long?"_

_He snatched the bottle from my grasp before I could say anything and dismissed me with a jerk of his head. I hurried out, aware of all the eyes on me. Quietly I slid the door closed, but not before I heard someone's disturbing comment._

"_Pretty little thing. Perhaps one day we can gamble for their "favors"."_

_They burst into laughter, but I was too horrified to listen to any more. I crept back to the corner, slipping under the blanket next to Jasmine and burying my face in my hands, wishing morning would come._

_**Kyoto, Japan, 1866**_

With a start, my eyes opened.

I had probably dozed off. Glancing out the window, I watched as large drops of water splattered against the glass panes.

It had been raining all day.

Even now that it was dark, there were no signs of it stopping. I sat listening to the constant patter of water against the roof, allowing the sound to completely fill my mind and drown out any thoughts of the past I might have.

Mulling over past events was not going to bring me solace. It was better to forget, and move on.

I glanced down at the sewing that lay in my lap. Just a few more stitches and the kimono I was making for Jasmine would be complete.

I was anxious to see her again. It had been weeks since I last visited her, but with the increase of Imperialists in Kyoto, it was becoming dangerous to go out alone.

Especially if you were married to a Shogun army official.

It was a miracle my foolish husband hadn't been assassinated yet. The big oaf was always out drinking with his friends, so sure he was strong enough to protect himself.

He was so blind. Could he not see the country was changing? The Imperialist army was increasing in size while the Shogun armies were shrinking. Sooner or later the old government would fall, and a new era would be ushered in.

Not that it mattered much to me.

I finished up my work on the kimono and neatly folded it, laying it down on the table. I rose to my feet and went to retrieve my black kimono. Usually I only wore it during funerals, but it wasn't wise to draw attention to myself at night.

I removed my worn, faded yellow kimono, but paused when I caught sight of my bruised body in the mirror.

No matter how foolish my husband might sometimes seem, he was a shrewd man when it came to his women. He enjoyed taking his frustrations out on me, but he was careful to never hit me on my face or neck. That way, no one could see the bruises, since the rest were covered by my clothing.

Bastard.

I quickly changed into my black kimono and placed Jasmine's gift in a basket.

At the front door, I slid on my shoes and grabbed an umbrella before heading out into the pouring rain.

The streets were almost deserted, and the few people who were out paid me no heed. I hurried through the rain until I arrived at the Geisha house where my twin sister resided.

Entering through the door, I shook the rain from my umbrella and folded it up, laying it next to my shoes.

One of the other girls who recognized me came over and informed me that Jasmine was still out.

"I'll wait."

The time slipped passed with no sign of Jasmine. I began to worry, not only for her, but also my husband. I feared what he would do if he came home and found I wasn't there.

After a few more minutes of waiting, Jasmine walked through the door. Her hair was done up in a high bun, and her pretty face was hidden beneath layers of white make-up.

She caught sight of me and her eyes lit up.

"Jade!"

I rose to embrace her.

"It's good to see you, Jasmine."

"Come upstairs with me," she said, grabbing hold of my hand and leading me to her room on the second floor.

She closed the door behind us before moving over to the washbasin in the corner. I took a seat on one of the cushions and watched her start to wash.

"So tell me, sister. How have you been?"

"Fine," I lied.

Jasmine had no idea my husband beat me, and I had no intention of ever telling her. She believed my life was tolerable.

Jasmine was fortunate. She didn't know what it was like taking care of a household all by herself. She didn't know what it was like being forced to pleasure a man, and then being beat when she made him unhappy.

And I was happy she didn't know. She was treated well here, and I didn't want to upset her with my troubles. This was just the way things were. Our fates had been decided.

"And how is Hideki-sama?"

Fortunately her back was turned to me, so she didn't notice the muscle in my jaw jerk slightly.

Swallowing my bitterness, I managed to answer, "He's doing well."

Unfortunately, my sister knew me too well. She turned her face to look at me, sorrow and concern evident in her eyes. I shifted my eyes away from her.

I hated it when she looked at me like that.

I was the older sibling. I was the one who had to be concerned for her. Everything I did, every sacrifice I made, it was all for her. I wanted her to be happy and safe. If I could, I would have taken her far away from here – away from all the people who wanted to hurt or take advantage of us.

But that was impossible. We had no place to go and no money of our own. Even if I tried to run away alone, Jasmine would follow the moment she knew I was gone, and then we'd both die out there.

"I know it's difficult for you, Jade, but give it more time. Hideki doesn't seem like such a bad man. Sure he's a bit rough around the edges, but with someone like you in his life, I'm sure he'll become better. Who knows, maybe you can learn to love him."

Love?

How silly. To me it was nothing but a four-letter word – one that didn't mean much. There was no love in that man's eyes when he looked at me. I wasn't so much his wife as I was his slave. I was only there for his benefit; for him to use as he pleased.

But Jasmine wouldn't know that.

"I finished stitching another kimono for you," I said, changing the subject.

Jasmine turned back to me with a bright smile. She had washed away the make-up, and I was now able to see her face.

Born only four minutes apart, the two of us were identical in almost every aspect. People always found it difficult to tell us apart.

Even our own father hadn't been able to tell us apart.

I removed the kimono from the basket and rose to my feet.

"Forgive me Jasmine, I can't stay. I'll come see you again another time."

"Jade."

I paused and turned to look at her. She looked worried.

"Be careful on your way home."

"I will. Goodnight."

I walked back down the stairs, slipping on my shoes at the door and grabbing my umbrella. Once again I stepped out into the pouring rain.

The whole way home, thoughts of my past plagued me. I was only 15, but on the inside I felt much older. Being the oldest, I had always pushed myself to act more grown up, so that I could take care of Jasmine.

After all this time, it was finally catching up to me. I felt so tired inside.

Tired of pretending.

Tired of being taken advantage of.

Tired of having no say over my own life.

I didn't think I could go on like this much longer.

I rounded the last corner, but froze when I caught sight of something.

A man was walking slowly down the street, coming towards me.

Fear gripped me when I saw the sword strapped to his side. I wanted to sprint to the safety of the house, but my feet couldn't seem to move.

Strangely, the man didn't seem to have noticed me at all. As he came nearer, I realized he was in pain. Each step he took made him wince, and he swayed from side to side.

I watched him stagger forward a few more steps before collapsing, right in front of our house.

I remained rooted to the spot, waiting to see if he would get up.

He didn't.

Slowly I made my way over to him. When I stopped at his side, I knelt down to examine him.

He had passed out, and the left side of his face was bleeding profusely. I stared at him for the longest time.

He had long red hair and a handsome face, but he was young, not that much older than I was.

A red-haired swordsman. There were many rumors floating around about a red-haired Imperialist, but surely it couldn't be this man.

Or could it?


	2. Chapter 2

2

2

_**But strength alone, though of the Muses born,**_

_**Is like a fallen angel: **_

_KEATS_

The first thing Himura Kenshin remembered feeling when he woke was the touch of soft, warm fingers against his forehead.

His eyes fluttered open and he found himself staring into a pair of unfamiliar female eyes. He tried to sit up and reach for his sword, but the pain in his chest made him stop.

"You shouldn't try moving. You've broken one of your ribs."

She didn't look at him as she spoke.

"Who are you?" he asked, gritting his teeth against the pain.

She paused and met his gaze briefly before looking away again.

"Jade. I'm sorry I can't give you a room in the house, but my husband is not a very generous man."

Husband? But she looked so young, younger than he was.

He glanced around the room and realized he was in a kind of store room. She had cleared away a space on the floor and made a bed for him. A single lamp was lit, illuminating a box of what looked to be medical supplies.

The girl shifted closer and gently touched the side of his face. He winced slightly, feeling the scar on his cheek burn.

"This is an old wound, but you've allowed it to become infected. I'll need to open and clean it before it can heal properly."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because it'll just get worse if you leave it like this."

"No, I mean why are you doing this for _**me**_?"

"I couldn't leave you out in the rain to die," she answered, keeping her gaze on her hands.

"Miss, if you knew what I was, you would have left me."

She didn't reply, but he saw her eyes darken slightly.

Leaning forward, she began working on his wound. He lay quietly, staring up at the ceiling. A part of him felt uneasy about lying here all defenseless, but at the same time he knew if she had wanted to harm him, she would have simply left him to die.

He couldn't help but wonder about her. For someone so young, she sure knew a lot of things.

"Are you a doctor?" he asked, shifting his eyes so he could look at her. She smiled a small smile.

"No, but my husband is a swordsman too, so I know a lot about wounds."

A swordsman huh? Kenshin wondered which side he fought for. If her husband was an Imperialist like himself, then he wouldn't have to worry. However if he was a Shogunate, then he was in danger.

"Your husband, is he – "

"You don't have to worry about him. Unless you make a scene, he won't know you're here."

A woman willing to keep secrets from her husband?

She drew back, a satisfied look on her face.

"There, that should do for now. Try to lie quietly and avoid too much movement. The bones won't heal properly otherwise."

She rose to her feet and moved to the door. Without a word, she disappeared through the doorway, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

This whole night had been one big disaster. What had started out as an ordinary assassination had quickly escalated into a full out war between himself and the Shinsengumi who had caught him by surprise.

A simple mistake on his part had nearly cost him his life, but he had managed to escape with just a broken rib and a re-opened wound.

Still, he had been exhausted and far away from his comrades. If the girl hadn't found him, he might not have escaped with his life.

Jade.

He fell asleep with her name in his thoughts.

Kenshin was awakened when someone opened the door. Daylight streamed in, forcing him to shield his eyes until they got used to the glare.

Jade stood in the doorway, balancing a tray of food in her arms. Silently, she moved over to him and placed the tray down before helping him sit up.

"Eat up," was all she said before leaving him by himself once again.

He did as she said, eating everything on his plate. He felt a bit better once he was done, but the room seemed unbearably hot.

Kicking himself open, he eased himself down onto his back and lay quietly, listening to the sounds around him.

Back at the inn, he had a room all to himself, but even then it wasn't this quiet. He couldn't decide whether he liked the silence or not.

Hard to believe a mere year ago he had been living in the mountains. He had liked it there, away from the hustle and bustle of the towns and cities, away from the battles, and most of all, away from the blood.

But _**she **_had been with him. The woman he thought he had loved. He had been so foolishly naïve. After being alone for most of his life, he was hungry for love and affection.

She had offered that to him, and without hesitation he had accepted. In the end, all he got out of it was heartache.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the steady _swoosh _of a broom somewhere outside the room.

This brought his attention back to Jade. She was a pretty girl, just as Tomoe had been, but she was no doubt different from any other woman he'd ever known.

She seemed dedicated and hardworking, but her eyes were dead.

There was neither a sparkle of youth, nor a glimmer of love when she mentioned her husband. Even when she spoke to him, her voice was flat and empty. Her whole life seemed to revolve around necessity rather than a desire to live.

He didn't see her again until noon, when she came in with lunch. This time she stayed a bit longer, taking a moment to check on his wounds.

He didn't make an effort at conversation. She didn't look like she was in the mood for talk. He wouldn't bother her any more than what was necessary. As soon as he was healed, he would be out of her way.

She dabbed some ointment on his cheek and covered it up with a thin strip of gauze, but stopped before pulling away, peering closely at him.

He felt sweat drip down his temple, and the air he breathed in was stuffy. He noticed a crease form between her eyebrows.

She raised her hand and pressed it against his forehead before sighing.

"It's just as I feared. You have a fever."

Without waiting for him to say anything, she rose and hurried out. Moments later she came back carrying a wooden bowl filled with water and a small white cloth. Kneeling at his side, she urged him to lie back down before placing the cool cloth against his hot forehead.

He shivered slightly, but she noticed and pulled the blanket over him, tucking it under his chin.

"Try to get some sleep. I'll leave the door open to let in some fresh air."

"Won't your husband – "

"It's alright. He's not around during the day."

She was very quick to stop him from talking about her husband, but he was too weary to ponder over this.

He drifted off into an uneasy sleep, tormented by strange, twisted dreams. He woke a couple of times, his throat unbearably dry and his body drenched in sweat, but she was there every time.

She gave him water to drink laced with some kind of bitter herb, assuring him it would help him sleep easier.

He relaxed some more when she wiped his face with a cool cloth, grateful for the small comfort.

His breathing became less labored, and his sleep was dreamless. He wasn't aware of the passing of time, but when he woke again it was dark outside.

Jade wasn't there this time, but she had left him some food and water. He didn't have much of an appetite, but realized he needed to regain his strength. While he sat nibbling on some rice, he heard a loud crash coming from the house.

Instinctively he reached for his sword, but he soon realized he wasn't the one in danger.

A man was shouting something, though he couldn't hear what exactly. Kenshin wondered if Jade was alright. There was the sound of things breaking before it fell silent. Kenshin strained to hear anything else, but all he heard was the chirping of crickets and the rustle of the wind blowing through the trees.

Nothing happened for a while, and just when he thought nothing would, his sharp ears picked out the sound of quiet footsteps. Despite his weakness, he pushed himself up and crawled over to the door.

Sliding it open a few centimeters, he peered outside.

At first he didn't see anything, but then he caught sight of a dark figure kneeling on the ground. There was no doubt.

It was her.

But she looked. . .different somehow. Under the pale light of the moon, she looked so small and fragile. As he watched, he saw her slam her fists into the ground before bursting into tears. She covered her face with her hands, her whole body shaking uncontrollably.

Kenshin felt a bit uneasy watching her. He hadn't expected there to be this much pain. How had she survived keeping everything bottled up for so long?

As he continued to watch, she rose to her feet and walked over to the well in the center of the yard. He could hear her heavy breathing. She became desperate, ripping at her clothing as though it were burning her skin.

Her kimono slipped off her shoulders and pooled around her feet.

Kenshin's eyes widened and he swallowed against the dryness in his throat. She stood with her back to him while she frantically drew water from the well. He couldn't help but stare.

Her skin was milky and smooth and would have been perfectly flawless had it not been for the dark bruises that showed their ugly faces in numerous places on her back and legs.

He saw her reach forward and grab hold of the bucket before drenching herself with the icy water. She began vigorously rubbing her arms and torso, as though trying to clean away some unseen filth.

Closing his eyes, Kenshin shut the door and crept back to his bed.

_Don't get involved, don't get involved. This has nothing to do with you. You have no right to interfere. . . _

But that little voice in his head was shouting at him, reminding him that the reason he joined the Imperialists was so that he could help people.

He needed to learn more about the situation before he could do anything, and he wasn't going to get that done tonight.

So instead he lay back down and went to sleep, dreaming of a pale-skinned beauty.


	3. Chapter 3

3

_**Bitterness is like cancer.**_

_**It eats upon the host.**_

_MAYA ANGELOU_

The new day dawned without me getting much sleep.

Hideki had come home late last night, drunk as usual. He was mad, though I didn't know why really. It didn't matter to him that I hadn't done anything wrong, he still took his frustrations out on me.

He had broken the table as well as a few plates, and then, still not satisfied, he dragged me to the bedroom where he used me before finally passing out.

Not once did I utter a sound. I knew better by now. Screaming or protesting only made him madder. When he fell asleep, I lay in the darkness for a long time, battling against the raging emotions inside of me.

After what seemed an eternity, I couldn't take it anymore, and I crept outside.

For the first time in a long while, I allowed myself to cry. Keeping all my frustrations inside had caused a hard lump to form in my chest, but last night had eased some of that tension, though it didn't remove the feeling of hopelessness.

In a blind fit of rage and frustration, I had yanked off my torn and dirty kimono and used cold water from the well to wash myself, trying to remove the dirt that seemed to cling to my skin.

The filth was slowly seeping into my blood, making my insides squirm in disgust. Was I destined to forever be a tool that could be used by men? Would I never be able to escape from this life of bondage?

I didn't have the answers, and so I went back to my everyday routine, hoping my chores would distract me.

Of course I had the swordsman to take care of, and every time I went to see him, I forgot all about the rest.

I hadn't even asked him his name.

His fever had broken and some of his strength was returning, but it would take more time for the bones to heal. After he had his breakfast, I suggested he move outside a bit. It was a warm day, and the fresh air would do him good.

With some difficulty, I managed to help him outside. He sat on the porch with a blanket over his legs and a cup of tea at his side, watching me as I went about my chores.

At noon I took a break and made us both something to eat. We sat side by side in companionable silence.

It was odd, but his presence made me feel better. When I listened to him talk, everything seemed to fade away and all I could hear was his voice. When he looked at me, it wasn't with lust-filled eyes as I was used to, but instead he looked at me like I was a person, like I was _**somebody**_.

After lunch, I took my torn kimono from the previous night and sat down next to him again to do some sewing. He glanced at the kimono and I saw a pained look in his eyes, but it was gone before I could make sure.

"You said your husband is a swordsman?"

My fingers became cold, but I continued to work as though it didn't bother me.

"Hai."

"Is he an Imperialist or a Shogunate?"

"Look mister, you don't have to worry about that."

I could feel him looking at me, but avoided his steady gaze.

"Even if I told you I was an Imperialist?"

"It doesn't matter to me which side you're on."

"You don't care about what happens to this country or its people?"

I rose abruptly, uncomfortable with his prying questions.

"This country and its people never cared about me," I replied before walking into the house, leaving him alone outside. I paced up and down a few times, willing myself to stop thinking about the past. Hadn't I learned already?

After a few minutes, I felt bad for walking away from him so suddenly. Grabbing the broom, I went out again. He was still sitting on the same spot, his hands folded in his lap. He glanced at me as I came out, but said nothing.

I set to work, trying to figure out how to apologize for my rude behavior. I knew he wasn't at fault for asking questions.

"I'm sorry for being so rude. It wasn't my place to talk to you like that."

"Don't be sorry. You had every right. I am a stranger in your house. You might even call me an enemy."

"An enemy?" I asked, glancing up in surprise.

"You husband is a Shogunate, am I right?"

I nodded silently. He smiled a little, an understanding look in his eyes.

_Oh. . ._

He was so perfect. His hair was a rich red and his eyes were a striking blue that had the look of someone who had seen everything there was to see.

I realized I had been staring at him, but fortunately he didn't seem to have noticed. He was obviously pondering over something.

I went back to my sweeping, mentally scolding myself for being weak. This swordsman was a man just like any other. He seemed nice now, but push too far and his true nature would reveal itself. That's how it worked with all of them. I had seen it all my life.

I snuck a glance in his direction and saw he was watching me intently. Blushing, I quickly turned my eyes away.

"Have you ever handled a sword before?" he asked suddenly.

"No," I replied without stopping what I was doing.

"You should try. You have good arms."

I stopped this time, looking up at him curiously.

"Why would I need to handle a sword?"

He shrugged.

"Who knows how long the Revolution will continue. One day your husband could die, and then who would be around to protect you?"

I leaned against the broom, staring directly into his eyes.

"You mean one day _**you **_could kill my husband."

He didn't reply, but I knew my assumption wasn't wrong. He surprised me again when, instead of leaving me alone, he beckoned me over.

I went to him, stopping in front of him and waiting.

"Let me at least show you some basic things so that you can defend yourself should the need ever arise. Think of it as my way of thanking you."

My eyes widened. I hadn't realized he was serious. I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words.

He smiled.

"My sword is inside. Go and get it."

I turned to go, but he stopped me when he spoke again.

"By the way, my name is Himura Kenshin."

Smiling to myself, I did as he asked and came back out carrying the heavy weapon in my arms. He ordered me to stand in front of him and keep the sword in its sheath.

"As a beginner, you should be using a wooden sword, but since we don't have one, you might as well get used to a normal sword."

He started to teach me, every day after lunch. After a week, he was clearly surprised by how quickly I became used to the sword. All the heavy chores I was used to doing had made my arms and upper body strong.

But he said it wasn't just that. He said I had a natural talent for swordsmanship.

"You're just saying that."

"No it's true. You're a strong girl."

My eyes met with his and I felt something stirring in my stomach. Forcing myself to look away, I balled my hands into fists.

"Jade."

His voice was deep and husky, fanning the flame that burned inside of me. Every day, bit by bit, he was chipping away at the walls I had spent so many years building.

In his eyes there was hope.

That was why, out of all the men, I hated him most.

Kenshin couldn't help but marvel at her growth. She handled the sword so easily, like she had always been meant to hold one.

He had never felt such admiration when watching Tomoe.

Tomoe had been very proper and ladylike, the envy of every woman and the desire of every man.

But Jade was different. When she practiced with the sword, her movements were graceful and smooth. Her entire body seemed to flow with each technique, like water.

It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

He watched her day after day, giving advice that would improve her technique while all the while seeing evidence of her natural talents. She would twist and turn, the muscles in her arm taught with the effort of holding the heavy weapon, and her long hair moving with her, framing her face.

He hated himself for noticing her, but every time she was before him, his insides would squirm in nervous delight.

He knew he was in a dangerous situation. She could turn out to be just like Tomoe. Her husband was an enemy. How did he know she wasn't tricking him? She could hand him over to the enemy at any stage, and he wouldn't be able to do anything.

_**This country and its people never cared about me . . .**_

No, there was no mistaking the bitterness in her voice when she spoke those words. He could see the hate in her eyes every time he brought up her husband. The man no doubt abused her, and that was probably why just when he thought he was getting to know her, she would suddenly withdraw into herself.

The faster the walls around her heart fell, the faster she built them right back up again.

Just as he was doing.

Whenever the day was through, and he lay in his bed listening to the peace and quiet of the night, she would plague his thoughts. She gnawed at him daily, until he was just about ready to go insane.

Women were nothing but trouble. They used sneaky and underhanded tactics, doing everything to win your heart, only to crush it once you gave it to them.

Hadn't Tomoe done that?

And why?

Because of what he was.

An assassin.

The one who made it rain blood.

His ribs were starting to heal, but instead of feeling better, he only felt despair. The mere thought of leaving this place saddened him. He had grown so accustomed to the stillness of the night, so accustomed to being awakened by Jade bringing him breakfast, so accustomed to watching her work and practice.

He loved the way her eyes shone after another practice session, but was disturbed by the feelings it stirred in him.

After two weeks of staying with her, he was able to move around by himself, even if it was just a little. She had given him a long, wooden pole which he used as a staff to help him walk.

He only came out during the day, when her husband was gone. For the whole morning, he would sit by himself while she went about her chores, and then for part of the afternoon, he assisted her with her training.

One morning, he took his usual place on the porch outside, but soon realized it was quiet.

Too quiet.

Usually he could hear Jade moving around inside the house or see her outside, picking herbs from the small garden she kept at the side of the house.  
But today was different. There was no sign of her.

The thought occurred to him that perhaps her husband had gone too far with her. What if she lay bleeding somewhere inside the house? What if she couldn't move?

Panic rose up inside of him as he imagined all the things that could have gone wrong, but his mind was set at ease when he heard the front door open.

Jade appeared moments later, carrying a roll of deep purple silk.

"Ohayou. Sorry I wasn't here to make breakfast, but I went to the market early this morning."

"That's alright. What were you doing?"

"I needed a few things, including this," she said, holding up the roll of material.

"What are you going to do with that?"

"Make a kimono of course," she replied before disappearing into the kitchen. The door was open, so he could continue to talk to her.

"When would you wear such an extravagant outfit?"

In all the time he had spent here, Kenshin hadn't once seen her wear anything really nice. Her clothing was always plain and simple, which was practical considering all the work she did.

"It's for my sister," she called back.

"You have a sister?"

She appeared again, carrying a large bowl of cooked sweet potatoes. Setting it down between the two of them, she gave him a small smile.

"I do. She's a geiko."

Kenshin took one of the potatoes and bit into it.

"I see. That explains why she would need nice clothing."

He turned his head to look at her, but stopped when he saw the look on her face. She had a faraway look in her eyes and her mouth was set in a thin, straight line.

He could sense she was withdrawing again. Something must have upset her. He wished he knew more about her. Perhaps if he shared something of himself, she would open up.

But the idea of telling her something about himself made him uncomfortable. Yes, there was a certain level of trust between them, but not enough yet.

It didn't matter that his heart started to race whenever he watched her; it didn't matter that she was the last thing he thought about before falling asleep; it didn't matter that his stomach twisted into knots whenever she touched him, even if it was just to check his wound or help him up.

He was one of the strongest Imperialists, yet just one look from this girl and he felt his knees weaken

"Ne, Kenshin?"

He glanced at her, but she didn't look at him. He waited for her to continue.

"Does love exist in this world?"

Her question caught him off guard, but he regained himself after a moment.

"I used to think so, but I'm no so sure anymore," he answered truthfully. She turned to him this time, her eyes wide with surprise. As he gazed upon her face, he caught a glimpse of the bitterness she carried with her.

He wanted to reach out and touch her, but resisted the urge to do so.

She turned her face away again, tilting her head to look up at the sky, but she placed her hand down next to his, lightly brushing against his fingers.

In that moment he knew.

She was opening the door for him.


	4. Chapter 4

4

_**Love takes off masks**_

_**That we fear we cannot live without**_

_**And know we cannot live within.**_

_JAMES A. BALDWIN_

"Jade! I was starting to think you weren't coming to visit anymore."

"Gomen Jasmine. I've been. . .busy."

"What could you possibly be busy with? Other than chores of course."

I watched my sister smile at me before taking a sip of her tea. She waited for me to answer.

I glanced down at my own tea, wondering if I should tell her about Kenshin. How would she react? She would probably wonder why I hadn't told Hideki and that would raise even more question.

Questions I didn't want to answer.

I decided to lie.

"Oh you know how men are. Bring their friends over without any warning and expect you to cook for everyone," I said with a smile.

She seemed to buy the lie, as she laughed and nodded her agreement. I forced another smile and quickly changed the subject by removing the new kimono I had made.

Eyes wide, she took the kimono, pressing the soft material against her cheek.

"Oh Jade, it's beautiful!"

I smiled, this time genuinely, pleased that she was happy with her gift. Once the excitement had passed, however, she became suddenly serious.

"Jade, I'm worried about you."

"Why?"

She looked left, then right, as though there might be someone who would hear her. Leaning forward slightly, she lowered her voice.

"I've been hearing rumors. Word is there's an Imperialist on the loose and no one knows where he is, not even his own comrades. He's supposed to be very dangerous. They call him Battousai the Manslayer."

I felt my heart begin to race. Did she mean Kenshin?

"What does that have to do with me?" I asked cautiously.

"You always walk by yourself. You need to be careful. They say he has red hair and a cross-shaped scar on his left cheek."

That was definitely Kenshin. Relief spread over me. There was no need to worry about him. I knew he wouldn't hurt me.

"I'll be careful Jasmine, I promise."

She sat back, satisfied with my promise. I had the sudden urge to spill everything, to assure her that Kenshin was different, but I quickly stopped myself.

What was I thinking? How could I vouch for him? For all I knew, he could be biding his time, pretending to be a nice guy while waiting for his body to heal before he struck. He could easily kill both me and Hideki.

But then why would he teach me how to use a sword? No, he wouldn't do that. If there was one thing I knew, it was how to read a man, and he was very different from the rest.

I had never felt this way around a man before. Whenever I was near him, I got butterflies in my stomach. Whenever he looked at me with those intense eyes, I felt my body grow warm. At night I dreamt of him lying next to me, and I woke longing for his touch.

I was ashamed of my feelings. In the short time he'd spent at our house, I'd become so acquainted to his presence to the point where I almost feared him leaving.

I didn't want to admit it, but he gave me strength. Whenever Hideki came home in one of his foul moods, I just imagined Kenshin was there, protecting my heart. It didn't matter then what Hideki did to my body.

"Jade, are you alright? You have a funny smile on your face."

I blinked a few times, snapping out of my daze. Jasmine was watching me with her eyebrows raised. I cleared my throat and got to my feet.

"I'd better get going. Take care Jasmine."

"I will. You too, Nee-chan."

"What a beautiful day."

I stopped scrubbing the clothes long enough to look up at the clear blue sky. He was right.

Without a word I went back to washing, anxious to get done. Kenshin stood on the porch, leaning against the staff I had given him. His ribs were just about healed, and I could tell he was starting to grow restless.

Once he was better, he would leave, and I would be alone again. The thought troubled me, and I sat back on my haunches, using the back of my hand to push a stray piece of hair out of my eyes.

I felt myself jump slightly when I heard the front door slide open inside the house.

"Hello! Anyone home?" a loud, male voice shouted. I glanced up at Kenshin, but he was already entering the storeroom. I waited until he had closed the door before rising to my feet.

Hajime Saito appeared behind me and I turned to him. He smiled at me, his narrow eyes closing as he did.

'How nice to see you again, Jade-chan."

"What are you doing here, Hajime-san?"

"Come now, there's no need to be so formal. It's me you're talking to."

"What are you doing here?" I asked again, making no effort to keep the bite from my tone.

The leader of the third Shinsengumi squad chuckled and stepped closer to me, cupping my chin with his hand.

"I came to see you of course."

I slapped his hand away and took a step back, putting some distance between us.

"Stop fooling around and tell me what it is you want."

"I'm here to see your dear husband."

"He's not here."

"No? Any idea where he might be?"

I placed my hand on my hip, smirking slightly.

"Did you try any of the local taverns? Or one of the inns? Maybe he found himself a whore along the way."

Saito returned the smirk.

"Careful my dear, your tone might be mistaken for hate."

"What do you care?"

"Well think of it this way. Play your cards right, and Hideki might just listen to me and send you someplace else."

"And why would you tell him to do that?"

"Why, to keep you safe of course. Kyoto is becoming more and more dangerous. Those Imperialists won't think twice about killing you. You are after all married to a Shogun army official."

"I don't care. I won't leave my sister behind."

"Ah of course, dear Jasmine. Well I'm sure she won't have any trouble. She knows how to keep men happy."

"My sister is _**not**_ some common whore!" I shouted, enraged by his insensitive statement.

He held up his hands in defense.

"Of course not, I was just saying – "

"Get out."

Saito's face became solemn, and his voice took on a more serious tone.

"Don't be a fool, Jade. I can help you, you know that."

"I don't need your help. Please leave."

He sighed heavily and turned his back on me.

"Very well. Don't say I didn't warn you. Sayounara, Jade-chan."

I watched his retreating figure until he was out the door. Sighing, I turned and knelt down next to the tub of washing.

Kenshin came back out moments later. I felt his eyes on me, but refrained from meeting his gaze.

"In a way, he's right."

"Not you too, Kenshin."

"It's not safe for you here."

I ignored him, removing the clothes from the water and proceeding to hang them on the washing line. I sensed him still watching me, and after I had finished, I turned to look at him.

"Kenshin, you just don't understand."

"Help me understand."

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because. . . because you're a man!"

He frowned, giving me a puzzled look. I felt tears burning my eyes.

He wouldn't understand, he couldn't.

"Gomen nasai," I whispered before hurrying into the house.

I walked outside, carrying Kenshin's supper on a tray. The sun had already set, and the stars were starting to show their faces.

I hadn't spoken to Kenshin since this morning. Perhaps I overreacted, but what else was I supposed to do? Kenshin didn't know what my life was like.

It wasn't his problem.

I found him sitting upright in his bed, staring at the sky outside his window. I placed his supper down at his side and rose to leave again, but he quickly grabbed hold of my hand.

"Stay with me a bit."

Reluctantly I sat down again, worrying my lower lip. I feared what would happen if Hideki came home and started looking for me. If he found Kenshin. . .

"I'll be leaving you soon."

Snapping out of my daze, I raised my eyes to his. I was surprised by the sadness I saw there. He reached out and took one of my hands in his.

"Thank you for everything you've done."

Tears sprang to my eyes.

_Why . . .?_

Kenshin disproved everything I thought a man to be. He made me feel. . .like I deserved so much more.

"Jade, I – "

"Kenshin please, let me go back into the house. I need to be there if Hideki comes home."

"I don't think you should be around that man."

"He's my husband!"

"And you're terrified of him."

I opened my mouth to protest, but knew it was futile. Kenshin's gaze swept over my body before resting on my face again.

"He mistreats you, don't try to deny it. I've seen the bruises."

Embarrassed, I turned my gaze away. Kenshin's eyes softened and he reached his hand out towards me.

Out of instinct, I jerked away, crossing my arms across my chest to protect myself.

Images of Hideki's fist flashed through my mind and I couldn't help feeling Kenshin was going to do the same. His true nature was coming out. He thought that if Hideki could hit me then so could he.

Kenshin paused, considering me a moment before leaning towards me again.

"Don't touch me!"

"I'm not going to hurt you," he assured, his voice calm and gentle.

"You're just like the rest!"

"Jade, look at me."

I shook my head firmly, shutting my eyes tightly so I wouldn't see his face.

"Look at me."

His voice was still gentle, but there was something else, a kind of urgency that prompted me to obey. I opened my eyes and looked into his.

"Do you trust me?"

I frowned. Trust? How could I trust him? I barely knew him.

But as I gazed deeply into his eyes, I realized I _**did **_trust him. There was just something about him that drew me to him – like a moth to the flame.

Without a word, I nodded

He smiled and reached out again. I held my breath, waiting for him to suddenly become violent.

His hand touched the side of my face with such tenderness, and I felt myself relax. Sensing the change in me, he reached up with his other hand and cupped my face.

"Oh Jade, tell me why you hold back."

Slowly I lifted my own hand and traced the scar on his cheek with my fingers.

"For the same reason you do."

His hands fell away and he sat back, avoiding my gaze.

"Kenshin, I don't know what happened to you, but I recognize the look of betrayal in your eyes because I see it in myself every time I look in a mirror. We're both so desperate for something more, but at the same time we're too afraid to trust again. I'm sorry, but I cannot give you what you're looking for."

"This isn't about me, Jade. It's about you, and what I can give you."

I couldn't help but laugh at the irony. How many times had other men said the same thing, trying to convince me to go home with them?

"Tell me mister swordsman, what is it you can give me?"

"What you deserve. Freedom."

I drew in a sharp breath. Kenshin's gaze never wavered.

He was serious.

The flame of hope he had ignited when he first arrived grew some more, despite my struggle to extinguish it.

I needed to get away, before it was too late.

"Well I won't keep you up any longer. See you tomorrow."

I rose to my feet and hurried out before he could say anything more. I would not fall for his talks of freedom. I knew that as soon as I gave in, something bad would happen.

No, it was safer to remain where I was.

That was my fate.

When I woke the following morning, he was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

5

_**Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are**_

_**Something to do,**_

_**Something to love,**_

_**And something to hope for.**_

_JOSEPH ADDISON_

"Kenshin my boy! I was starting to think you were dead."

"Gomen, Katsura. I was injured, but I'm alright now."

"That's good. Sit."

Kenshin moved to sit down across from his employer. Katsura Kogoro was one of the leaders of the Imperialists as well as the one who gave Kenshin his orders.

After Tomoe's death, he had sworn to do everything to help bring about Katsura's plans for the future of Japan.

"You've been missing out on a lot. The Shogun are starting to fight back. They've been sending the Shinsengumi out on patrol every night."

"Why?"

"They're looking for you, Kenshin."

"For me?"

"Yes. Apparently the fact that no one knew where you were made them nervous. But that's good for us. We need to strike now and strike hard."

"What do you need me to do?"

"There's someone I want you to take out. He's an official in the Shogun army, and he goes by the name Narita Hideki."

"Hideki. . ."

_Jade!_

He had always had the suspicion that he might go after her husband, but he hadn't thought it would be so soon after leaving her.

"Kenshin, are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"You never did say where you'd been all this time."

"I was. . . "

He drifted off, his thoughts going back to her, and their last conversation. He had seen the struggle in her eyes and longed to help her, but this was something she'd have to work out on her own.

Just like he had to work his own things out by himself.

"Kenshin?"

"I was with a woman."

Katsura sat back, a broad grin on his face.

"Oh? Glad to see you've finally gotten over Tomoe."

"You've got the wrong idea, Katsura. It wasn't like that. She helped me get better, that's all."

"Oh. . . I see. Kenshin, if you don't feel ready, it's ok. We can try some stall tactics, maybe send some of the others out. . ."

"No, I'll do it."

_I'll do it for you, Jade._

"Fine. You relax for now. I'll let you know when the arrangements have been made."

"Hai."

_Wait for me Jade. I'll give you your freedom._

_Soon. . . _

Kenshin wandered aimlessly through the market, listening to merchants shouting out their wares while slipping past the rush of bodies.

He couldn't stop thinking about her.

Was she alright? Was she mad at him for leaving without saying goodbye?

He hadn't meant it to be that way, but he had just felt it was time. Despite his efforts to suppress his feelings, he did care about her.

He knew, however, that it was a difficult time, for them both. He was still trying to piece together his broken heart, and he sensed she was doing something similar.

It terrified him to think about the effect she had on him.

He heard a woman laughing and turned his attention to the familiar sound. He spotted her standing nearby, talking animatedly with another woman while looking over some jewelry.

_Jade!_

He pushed his way through the crowd, trying to get close to her. He pulled his straw hat down low and sidled up to her.

"I need to talk to you," he whispered, gently grabbing her wrist.

She froze, tensing up. Turning her head to him, she glared slightly.

"Who are you?"

"Jade, it's me."

"Jade? You're one of Jade's friends?"

He frowned, but her face relaxed and she managed a smile.

"Don't worry, this happens a lot. My name is Jasmine. I'm Jade's sister."

Of course! The sister. He hadn't realized they were twins though. They looked so much alike.

"I've never seen you before. Who are you exactly?"

"Uh. . .my name is Kenshin."

"Kenshin? She's never mentioned you before. How do you know my sister?" she asked, her eyebrows raising in question.

"I was living with her for the past three weeks."

He watched her eyes widen in surprise.

Kenshin's mind was spinning with possibilities. Jasmine was the closest person to Jade. Perhaps if he could convince her to help, he might get through to Jade.

"Jasmine, I wonder if you have a minute. There's something I need to ask you."

"I was just going to suggest the same thing. You have some explaining to do. I want to know what's going on with my sister."

"I'll be glad to tell you everything I know. Your sister is in danger."

Her face paled slightly, but in her eyes she seemed determined. Turning to her friend, she made up some excuse before turning back to him.

"Let's go."

Kenshin nodded and followed her into a nearby tea house.

I sat on the porch, my head leaning against the wooden support beam.

"Oh Kenshin. . ."

Ever since his sudden departure, life had become a heavy burden once again.

It was just as I had suspected. As soon as he saw I wasn't going to fall for his play-talk about freedom and hope, he upped and left.

A part of me had expected this, but for some reason it still hurt.

Every other man in my life had always hurt me physically, but he had been different.

He had broken through my walls and stabbed my heart.

Sighing, I raised my eyes to the sky and watched the sun sink below the horizon. Another day passed.

Just another day.

"JADE!"

I ignored Hideki's angry voice, not caring what the consequences would be. I heard his angry steps come up behind me.

"Woman, when I talk to you, you answer!"

"Hai," I replied, not even bothering to look at him. I could feel the anger radiating from his body and sense the hatred in his eyes.

He reached down and grabbed hold of my braid, yanking my head backwards so that I was forced to look at him.

"It seems you've forgotten your place. Do you think you can take advantage of my generosity and do as you like in my house?"

His generosity? Oh that was rich.

He must have noticed the humorous smile on my face, because his anger exploded.

The kick came before I could do anything to block it, and I landed hard on the ground, coughing and wheezing.

I pushed myself up, gently clutching my side where his foot had collided. While I was still recovering, he marched over and grabbed the sleeve of my kimono, dragging me back into the house.

He stopped in front of the pantry and threw open the doors before once more grabbing hold of my kimono and pulling me roughly to my feet.

"Look at this. Tell me what you see!"

I glanced into the cupboard and saw a limited amount of food left. I knew this was because of the extra meals I had prepared for Kenshin. I never thought Hideki would realize something like this.

"I see food."

"How much food?"

"Enough."

He slapped me, releasing his grip on my clothing. I dropped at his feet, holding my face to try and ease the pain.

"Let me tell you what I see. I see a cupboard that should still be full, but is strangely nearly empty. Now you've been living with me for two years, and I know you don't eat this much. So tell me, where has all my food gone?"

I remained silent, staring blankly at the ground. Why should I try to defend myself? What reason did I have to live? Was this all?

"Answer me!"

Was this _**really **_all?

"I've had enough of your incompetence! You're just like you were when I took you in, and now you have the nerve to entertain other men behind my back!"

That was it. My way out.

I didn't have the courage to take my own life, but here was someone who would. Hideki was predictable. In the past, as long as I didn't overstep my boundaries, he would let me go with a "mild" beating. But if I pushed him, maybe he would end it all for me.

Finally I would be _**free**_.

I tilted my chin and looked him directly in his eyes.

"Burn in hell, Narita Hideki."

"I don't believe it. Why would she keep this from me?"

"I don't think she wanted to involve you."

"But that's ridiculous! I'm her sister."

Kenshin hurried onward, anxious to get to Hideki's house. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Once Jasmine had heard all he had to say, she was adamant about coming along.

He hoped he could find Hideki. The longer Jade stayed with that man, the more danger she was in.

"You're sure this will work?" Jasmine asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"I am."

"I can't thank you enough for what you're doing."

He didn't reply. He just wanted to get there quickly so he could kill the bastard and be done with it. He didn't like the way things felt.

They rounded the last corner and saw Hideki's house. Kenshin held out his hand to stop Jasmine.

"You need to stay here."

"But – "

"I can't guarantee your safety. Please, wait for us here."

She looked like she wanted to argue, but after a moment she nodded and stepped back.

Kenshin went on alone, making his way through the dark, quiet streets until he stopped at the door.

He listened for any sounds, but there were none. In fact, there were no lights either.

He felt his throat become dry.

Something wasn't right.

Carefully, he slid the door open. His eyes darted around, but there was no sign of anyone or anything.

He stepped inside, moving with little noise.

It didn't look like Hideki was here, but then, where was Jade?

He continued moving through the house, keeping his eyes open for any sign of the husband. If he was a swordsman too, then he could easily be hiding somewhere. He didn't want to take a chance, but at the same time he wanted to make sure Jade was alright.

As he approached the kitchen, he stopped.

He could smell blood in the air.

His heart skipped a beat when he looked into the kitchen. There, lying in a small pool of blood, was Jade.

_No!_

Images of Tomoe during her last few moments flashed through his mind. Was he going to lose her as well?

Pushing everything else out of his mind, he rushed to her side. Much to his relief, he saw she was still breathing.

He gave her a quick once-over. She was pretty banged up. There were a few minor scratches on her arms, and the one side of her face looked swollen. He also saw a stab wound on her stomach which is where the blood had come from, but it wasn't all that deep and the bleeding had stopped. Other than that, he couldn't see much else, but from what he knew, most of the damage was probably in places covered by her clothing.

He knew now that Hideki was no longer there. He had left her here to die.

_Bastard! I'll kill him. . . _

He didn't have time to go looking for the man now. It was better to get Jade and Jasmine away from here. He could always come back later to finish the deed.

He gathered Jade in his arms, careful not to hurt her anymore. She groaned when he moved her and her eyes fluttered open.

"Kenshin?"

"Yes Jade, it's me."

"Leave me. I want to die."

"Not yet. I told you I'd give you your freedom, and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

She grabbed hold of his clothing, but said nothing.

Without a word, he carried her outside. Jasmine was still standing where he had left her, but as soon as she saw him emerge, she hurried over.

"What happened?"

"Hideki. . . "

"Did you find him?"

"Don't worry about that. Jasmine, listen carefully. I'm taking the two of you away from Kyoto. There is a man named Kudo Saita who lives in the village of Otsu. He is a good friend of mine, as well as an excellent swordsman. He'll take good care of you."

"Ok."

"Jasmine, don't let Jade return to Kyoto."

She seemed confused by his command, but Kenshin couldn't explain his reasons. He couldn't even explain his reasons to himself. All he knew was that he didn't want her to be around while the war was going on.

They started off, heading for the outskirts of the city. Jasmine followed him in silence, too worried for her sister to say anything. Jade had passed out, but he kept close watch on her breathing, making sure she was still alive.

While they walked, Kenshin couldn't stop thinking about what he would do to Hideki once he found him.

It was the first time that he actually looked forward to killing.


	6. Chapter 6

6

_**The course of true love**_

_**never did run smooth**_

_SHAKESPEARE_

I sat at the table, quietly arranging the bunch of wildflowers I'd picked on my morning walk. Kudo Saita sat across from me, watching me with a small smile on his face.

I liked him. He didn't ask unnecessary questions, nor did he expect anything from us. He had freely opened his home to us, no strings attached. He even offered to train us in the art of swordsmanship.

I insisted that we help out around the house, which he agreed to let us do. It was the least we could do to repay him for his kindness.

However, sometimes I couldn't help but wonder why he willingly helped us.

"Ne, Sensei?"

"What is it Jade?"

"I know Kenshin asked you to let us stay, but if we're a burden, Jasmine and I could – "

I stopped mid-sentence when he started to chuckle softly.

"Oh Jade, you and your sister are no burden. I'm an old man who's lived alone for longer than you've been alive. Having you two stay here makes me think of what it would be like if I had children of my own."

"Weren't you ever married, Saita-san?"

His face became solemn and his eyes closed as he folded his arms. I felt embarrassed for bringing it up.

"Gomen nasai. I shouldn't pry."

"No, it's alright. I was married once, a long time ago, but a year later she died. She was a very sickly woman."

I looked away, feeling even worse for being insensitive. Here was a genuinely good man, one who deserved to be happy, but like with us, fate had chosen to take that happiness away.

Why did it always work out this way?

"Jade, I do not want you to feel bad for me. I have lived a good life and I have no regrets. You on the other hand still have much to look forward to."

"You're wrong. There is nothing left for me. I have already been ruined."

I could feel the intensity of his gaze, but refused to meet it. I didn't want any sympathy or pity, not even from him.

"You know, love has a way of healing."

"There is no such thing as love."

He smiled knowingly, but didn't say anything. It bugged me a little, but I decided to remain quiet as well.

He was wrong. The supposed "love" people felt for each other was nothing but empty words.

Jasmine suddenly ran into the room.

"Jade! Come see, it's Kenshin!"

Saita's smile widened as he rose to his feet to greet our guest. I fought against the sudden rush of emotions that threatened to overwhelm me and took a deep breath to calm myself before rising as well.

Jasmine and I followed Saita-san to the door and waited while the men greeted each other. When they finished their exchange of words, Saita stepped aside. My breath caught in my throat when I caught sight of the red-haired swordsman. Jasmine greeted him in her usual cheerful manner, asking how he was and if he had a safe trip.

I struggled against the feelings he stirred up inside of me and boldly stepped forward to greet him.

"Hello Kenshin."

"Good to see you, Jade. You're looking well."

It was wonderful to see him, but of course I didn't say so.

"Shall we go inside?" Saita asked. I suddenly became nervous and wracked my brain for an excuse not to be around Kenshin.

Tea. Yes, I could offer to make tea.

"I'll make the tea," Jasmine offered before I could voice the offer myself. I knew that it would be pointless to offer my help, since Jasmine had been a trained Geisha and was skilled in the art of making and serving fine tea.

She didn't need my help, and she would know something was wrong if I went to the kitchen with her.

Despite being so close to her, there were certain things I just did not tell my sister. Jasmine disappeared into the kitchen while Saita led Kenshin to the receiving room.

I had no choice but to follow.

The men spoke easily together. Saita-sensei had never said how he had come to know Kenshin, but it was obvious they had known each other a while. They spoke about the Revolution, which I had expected, but they spoke casually about it, as if they were talking about the weather.

Sensei seemed to be on neutral ground. He was neither Imperialist nor Shogunate. Perhaps he felt he was too old to worry about which direction the country was headed.

He wasn't all that old. He seemed to be about as old as our father would have been, but he had the outlook of someone who had done it all and was simply living out the rest of his days in peace.

Kenshin however was a firm believer in what the Imperialists stood for. He believed in giving the people freedom, and I could tell he longed for peace.

Maybe I wanted that too. After being taken away from everything and having tasted a bit of freedom, I couldn't help but feel that everyone deserved to have that chance. Life wasn't always fair, but what this new life was promising was a second chance.

It was something I could fight for.

Jasmine came in carrying a tray of tea. She knelt down and served the men first before handing me a cup. I quietly thanked her before falling silent once more so I could continue to listen to the conversation going on.

As Hideki's wife, I had been trained to always be silent unless I was spoken to.

But Jasmine had been taught differently. She knew well enough when it was time to be still, but she had always been a favorite amongst the men because she knew how to keep a conversation going.

She also had a knack for noticing things.

"Kenshin, don't you think Jade looks so much better?"

I felt all eyes fall on me and lowered my face. I couldn't look at Kenshin without feeling a yearning rise up inside of me. He only came by every now and then, and even though I looked forward to each visit, I couldn't wait for him to leave again so things could go back to normal.

It was no secret to anyone in the room that I had been in a bad condition when I first arrived two months ago. I was fortunate to have escaped with minor injuries, all of which had healed nicely. The only reminder I had from that time was a small scar on my abdomen where Hideki had, in his blind fit of rage, stabbed me with the tip of his sword.

Back then, I hadn't wanted to live. I had deliberately pushed him to his limits, hoping he would end my life for me and thus end my pain, but for some reason he had stopped short of killing me.

And then Kenshin was there, once again pulling me out of my pit of despair with his deeply understanding ways.

He saved me, taking me away from Hideki and giving me a new home, somewhere where my sister and I could live together in safety, without having to worry about anything.

And why? For what?

I realized Kenshin hadn't said anything in reply to Jasmine's question, and curiously raised my eyes.

He was looking at me with a smile on his face and a somewhat distant look in his eyes, like he was remembering something.

For a moment no one said anything, but then Saita-sensei spoke up.

"Well if you don't mind, Kenshin, there is a pile of wood waiting to be chopped up and I'd like to get it done before dark. Oh and Jade, don't worry about dinner. Jasmine has offered to cook tonight's meal."

I glanced over at my sister with raised eyebrows. Was this another one of their ploys to get me and Kenshin alone? If so, I wanted no part of it.

But my sister was quick to answer my questioning look.

"I want to show everyone that your cooking lessons aren't wasted on me," she answered innocently.

Both Jasmine and Saita-san rose and left the room.

A few seconds of awkward silence filled the air while I tried to think of something to say. In the end it was Kenshin who first spoke.

"Let's go for a walk."

His suggestion seemed reasonable, as there didn't seem to be anything here for us to do. I nodded and stood with him, walking outside.

I walked these roads every day, and by now I knew them all well enough. But Kenshin didn't seem bothered with which way we went, and so I chose a path that bypassed the village.

We walked side by side in companionable silence until once again he broke the stillness.

"Are you happy here?"

I glanced at him out the corner of my eye.

"I am. It's peaceful out here, isolated almost. The effects of the Revolution don't make themselves evident here. But I worry sometimes."

"About what?"

That old familiarity returned and I found myself able to speak freely to him, like I always used to.

"That it's almost too good to be true. Jasmine thinks I worry too much, but what if Hideki – "

"You don't have to worry about him. He was killed three days after I brought you here."

"You mean _**you **_murdered him."

"I did."

I was surprised that he admitted it so easily. He had always seemed so sad when he spoke about all the people he'd killed, but this time there was hatred and anger burning in his eyes.

Why?

The look quickly faded from his eyes, and his face softened.

"You will always be safe, as long as you stay here. Saita-san and I will make sure of it."

His words pierced my heart, and I knew I believed him. He was always there, even when I tried to put distance between us. He was always standing on the other side of the wall that surrounded my heart, tapping on the door and waiting for me to let him in.

But how could I just let him in when he himself kept me out of his own heart?

"Do you grieve for you husband?"

I realized that I had been so lost in thought that I had almost forgotten about him. He had misread my silence as sorrow.

"That would be giving him too much honor. No, I cannot grieve for that man."

"It's obvious you hated him. Why then would you agree to marry him?"

"For reasons you would never understand."

Kenshin sensed that the topic wasn't open for discussion and he fell silent, respecting my wishes. There was still so much I didn't know about this man. How could I just spill my heart out to him and expect him to be compassionate and understanding?

No, it would unfair to him and degrading for me.

I glanced up and realized where we were. We were approaching a hill I often passed. It was the perfect place to build a nice little house with enough open space to plant a small crop. In fact, it looked like it had been used for that exact purpose, but all that remained of what seemed to have been the house was a few charred remains of the foundation and blackened earth. The garden was completely overgrown with weeds, and even the lone cherry blossom tree seemed to have died.

"What a pity," I whispered as I came to a stop. Kenshin overheard me and stopped as well, glancing over at the property.

I noticed his body tensed up and he pressed his lips together in a hard, straight line.

Did he recognize the place, or was he just upset that such a prime piece of property had gone to waste?

The latter seemed unlikely, so then did that mean he recognized the place? Perhaps he knew what had happened to it, or maybe he had known the people who had lived here.

There was only one way to find out.

I walked up the path leading to the property, glancing back to see if he was following. He remained rooted to the spot, and only when I was half-way there did he decided to follow.

This only served to confirm my suspicions that he knew something about this place.

When I reached the remains of the house, I paused. There was almost nothing left of the place. Everything had been destroyed by a fire.

Crouching down, I reached out and touched a piece of charred timber. The wood crumbled at my touch, leaving nothing but a pile of ash.

Kenshin finally reached me and stopped. His eyes swept over the property, and I couldn't help but notice the look of nostalgia that came over him.

Standing up, I moved over to the _sakura _tree and put my hand against its bark.

"You know this place, don't you," I pointed out.

He said nothing to either deny or admit my statement, but I saw a look in his eyes that I couldn't place.

"Did you know the people who lived here?" I pressed. For a long time, he said nothing. I turned away, concluding that he didn't want to talk to me, but he spoke before I could completely turn.

"I used to live here."

"You?"

Again he didn't reply. His hand went up and he absent-mindedly stroked the scar on his cheek. His eyes shone with unshed tears, and for a moment I forgot about myself and my fears.

Walking over to him, I reached out and took his hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze before I turned and walked back down the path, pulling him along with me. Neither of us said anything as we distanced ourselves from the small farm, but once we had left it far behind, he sighed.

"Aren't you going to ask me what happened?"

"No. You didn't press me to tell you about my past. When you're ready, you can tell me."

He stopped in the middle of the road and turned to face me. Releasing his grip on my hand, he raised his hand and stroked the side of my face.

"Jade, you. . . "

He couldn't seem to continue, but he didn't need to. I already knew what it was he wanted to say.

Without a word I stepped closer to him and reached up with my arms, resting my head on his shoulder while gently tangling my fingers into the hair at the back of his neck.

I felt him bury his face into my hair and closed my eyes, relishing in the touch of his hands. I couldn't help thinking how easily our bodies fit together, as if his body had been molded and shaped to accommodate mine.

I realized at that moment that I never wanted him to leave.


	7. Chapter 7

7

_**Blissful is the ignorant heart,**_

_**But never shall it know true bliss,**_

_**Without a counterpart**_

_HENRICO MARKS_

"_Jade! Where are you, girl?"_

"_Here I am, Otosan."_

"_I want you to make sure you and Jasmine are dressed in your best clothes tonight."_

"_Why?"_

_My father's eyes darted around nervously, looking everywhere but at me. Why was he acting this way? Did something happen? Was he in trouble again?_

"_Just do as I say and don't ask silly questions!"_

"_Hai. Gomen nasai."_

_I watched him storm off to his room, slamming the door shut and bellowing out that he didn't want to be disturbed. _

_I had a bad feeling in my stomach, but went to find Jasmine nonetheless._

_We spent the afternoon preparing ourselves. Both my sister and I took a bath before changing into our best kimonos. When we had done that, I made Jasmine sit still while I did her hair._

"_What's going on, Jade?"_

_I shook my head and sighed._

"_I don't know, Jasmine. Perhaps Father is having guests over and he wants us to look pretty."_

"_In that case," Jasmine paused and jumped up, rushing out of the room before I could say anything. She came back moments later carrying something in her arms. She knelt down before me and placed the object on the ground so I could see what it was._

_It was a deep blue hair ribbon. _

_The one that used to belong to my mother._

"_Jasmine what – "_

"_You said he wants us to look pretty. You should wear Mother's ribbon."_

"_But I can't."_

"_Why not? You're the eldest daughter, and you work so hard. You take care of everything, including me. You deserve this more than anyone."_

_Smiling, I lifted the ribbon, running my fingers over its smooth texture. To think that the same ribbon that used to adorn my mother's hair would now adorn mine. Jasmine took the ribbon and moved to sit behind me. I allowed her to do my hair up, tying it securely in place with the silky piece of cloth. When she was finished, I turned to her._

"_I'm sure that if Mother were here, she would be very proud of you."_

_Our happy moment was shattered when I heard our father calling us. Quickly Jasmine and I got to our feet and hurried to the receiving room. I slid the door open and we both entered before dropping to our knees and bowing respectfully. Two men and a woman were seated across from my father, but they turned their heads to look at us._

"_Come closer," our father ordered. We obeyed quickly, moving closer. I was surprised when he beckoned us to sit at his side. He never showed us such honor._

_Something wasn't right here._

"_Well, here you see them. Jade is my oldest, and her sister Jasmine is the younger one."_

_I was confused by my father's words. Why would he wish to present us to his friends? And who were these people anyway?_

_I took a moment to study them. The woman was older than the rest, at least in her mid 40's. She had a hard, stern face, and she sat with her hands folded in her lap, scrutinizing us._

_The man next to her was younger, somewhere in his late 20's. He too had a hard face, and there was an air of authority about him. He sat upright with his chin raised slightly, showing everyone that he thought he was better. He looked strong, but surprisingly he carried no weapons on him. _

_Finally the last man, and the only one who had a sword with him. He had narrow eyes and long dark hair which he wore tied back in a high ponytail. He wore a white headband as well as a white and blue cloak. From this, I could easily tell he was a member of the Shinsengumi, the proud group of swordsmen who worked for the Shogun government. They believe in one principle only:_

_**Aku Soku Zan**_

_Slay Evil Immediately_

"_How old are they?" the woman asked. _

"_13," my father answered._

"_Hm, that's older than I thought. Oh well, they're pretty enough. It's up to you to pick, Narita-sama. Which one will be your bride?"_

_Bride? Had they come here with marriage in mind? But we were still far too young to marry. Father wouldn't allow it!_

_I glanced over at my father, but he was staring blankly at the ground. I was wrong. He had every intention of allowing this._

"_You there. The older one."_

_I looked up and saw the man in the middle beckoning to me. My father nudged me and I shifted closer, kneeling in front of the man. _

_He sat back to admire me, then reached out with his hand and grabbed my chin, turning my face from side to side. I watched as his smirk widened._

"_I like this one. She has a serious look in her eyes. She will make a good wife."_

_I felt my stomach churning with fear. _

_Oh please, please let this be a bad dream. Why was this happening?_

"_Alright. I'll take this one with me, and the younger sister will go with you, Yui-san."_

_I pulled back, moving over to my father._

"_Otosan, what is going on?"_

"_Ah, so you haven't told them yet? Too ashamed to admit to your daughters that you're selling them off?"_

"_Papa, is that true?" Jasmine asked, turning to face him. _

_  
I couldn't believe what my ears were hearing. Our father was harsh, but I never suspected he'd go this far._

_He said nothing in reply, avoiding our eyes at all costs. His shame made me want to scream. If he was so ashamed of selling us, then why was he doing it?_

"_You cannot do this! Please! You cannot send me away from Jasmine," I pleaded, prostrating myself before him. I know our father didn't exactly take good care of us, but we weren't that troublesome. Jasmine and I were able to take care of ourselves. _

_He had no reason to separate and send us away!_

"_I have no choice, now get up!" my father hissed. I slowly raised my head to look at him, but it was no use. He still would not look at me._

_Tears of anger and frustration burned in my eyes. I glanced at Jasmine and saw she was confused and upset._

_I boldly turned to the others._

"_You have no right to take us away."_

"_Jade!" _

_I heard the alarm in my father's voice, but chose to ignore it. Instead I locked eyes with the man in the middle, daring him to try anything. The man's arrogant smirk widened and he turned his head to the man from the Shinsengumi._

_The swordsman picked up his weapon and drew the blade from its sheath. He moved so swiftly, that before I could realize he had moved, he was standing behind my father and Jasmine, his sword raised as if to strike them._

_I gasped, but my body refused to move._

"_Let's get one thing straight, Jade-chan. People who stand in my way are swiftly dealt with. Your father owes me a lot of money, but I am willing to forget that debt in exchange for his pretty little daughters. Of course, I only need one woman, which is why I am selling your younger sister to Yui-san where she will become one of her Geishas."_

"_Please don't hurt them," I begged, my voice coming out as a mere whisper._

"_Saito, it's alright."_

_The Shinsengumi swordsman lowered his sword and moved back to his place, sitting down and sheathing his sword. I turned to Narita-sama._

_  
"Now, do I have your word that you'll obey and come quietly?" he asked me._

_I lowered my eyes, realizing I had no choice if I wanted to protect Jasmine._

"_Hai."_

_I could feel him smiling smugly, and my hatred for him grew in intensity. His hand came up and stroked my hair gently. He paused a moment before grabbing hold of the ribbon in my hair and yanking it loose._

"_You have no more use for this. It makes you look childish, and you are no longer a child. From today onward," he paused and tilted my chin up so that I was looking him in the eye, "you are my wife. . ."_

I woke with a start, sitting bolt upright and gasping for air. I glanced around me and realized I was in my room. Breathing out a sigh of relief, I loosened my grip on the sheets and covered my face with my hand.

Nightmares. . .

When would they end?

Almost immediately I began laughing at my own ridiculous question. They would never end. I would never be completely free of Hideki.

He would always haunt me in my dreams.

The hot afternoon sun burned down upon the earth, causing waves of heat to rise up from the ground.

Kenshin didn't let it bother him too much, focusing instead on putting one foot ahead of the other while listening to the sound of insects buzzing around his head.

He walked with his eyes half closed in thought, allowing his memory to guide him. Back when he had lived here, he had frequently wandered the different roads around Otsu and he knew them all like the back of his hand

Today was their birthday. Jasmine had told him during his last visit. He had spent a whole two weeks searching for the perfect gift. For Jasmine he had bought a box of her favorite sweets, which she had casually mentioned while telling him it was their birthday.

But buying a gift for Jade had proved to be difficult. He wanted to give her something nice without going too overboard. He didn't want to put her off. He had eventually found something simple but nice – enough to show that he cared.

He paused when he came to the small hill where he and Tomoe had stayed, the same hill he and Jade had visited the last time he was in Otsu.

Jade had surprised him. He had expected her to push him for answers, but she hadn't. Tomoe had always pushed, questioning his way of life at every turn and expecting him to explain his motives.

Jade wasn't like that. The faith she had in him; it was more than anyone had ever had in him. Tomoe had trusted him, yes, but it had been a shallow trust. They had never had that deep understanding – that unbreakable connection between two people who had suffered the same fate, who had tasted the bitterness of betrayal.

Maybe if he'd met Jade earlier, things would have been different. But their timing was all off. He couldn't do this anymore. It was busy destroying him.

He had to say goodbye.

For good.

I sat on the large boulder that stood next to the stream, dangling my feet over the side and dipping my toes into the cool water. Kenshin stood with his back to me, leaning against the same boulder I sat on. He had been strangely quiet during his whole visit, but then I hadn't been much more talkative.

It seems we were both troubled by something.

"Jade, I got you something for your birthday."

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

He turned to face me, rummaging through his clothes for something. He finally found what he was looking for and withdrew his hand.

I felt my stomach drop when I saw what he was holding.

It was a ribbon – a blue, satin ribbon.

A lump formed in my throat and I fought against the flood of memories. Kenshin noticed the distraught look on my face and quickly pulled his hand back.

"You don't like it. I'm sorry, I should have known."

"No, I love it. It's just. . ."

Leaving my sentence hanging, I reached out and took the ribbon from his grasp. I lowered my face and clutched the piece of cloth close to my chest, remembering that fateful day my father sold us off.

"My mother used to have a ribbon just like this."

Even without looking at him, I could sense his eyes widening. I didn't blame him for being surprised. This was the first time I'd mentioned my mother in front of him.

"What happened to it?"

"Hideki got rid of it. He said that it made me look childish, and he didn't want a child as a wife."

Without looking at him, I lifted my hands and proceeded to tie up my hair with the ribbon. When I was done, I gave him a faint smile.

"What do you think?"

He returned my smile with one of his own and gently brushed a strand of hair from my eyes.

"Beautiful. There is nothing childish about you."

Before I could get caught up by his words, I noticed a certain look in his eyes that made me stop. He was staring at me, his eyes taking in every detail of my face. The realization hit me.

"You're not planning on coming back, are you?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but ended up looking away. I felt my anger towards him building, but it was the disappointment that broke my heart. I should have known he would grow tired of coming all this way to visit us. What did I have to offer a man of his caliber? He had come to visit the first few times because he was too nice to just abandon us. But now he wanted to go back to his life, and there was nothing I could do to stop him from leaving.

"I see," I whispered, turning my face away from him so he wouldn't see the tears that threatened to spill. I heard him sigh before he climbed up onto the rock and sat down next to me.

"Do you think I'm leaving because of you?"

I couldn't lie to him, so I simply nodded my head.

"Well you're right, in a way, though I'm not leaving because I _**don't **_want to be with you."

I looked up at him in surprise, and he turned his head to meet my gaze.

"It's because I _**do**_."

I drew in a sharp breath, surprised by his confession. What was he saying? That he wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him? Could it be true?

He sighed again and turned his gaze to the front.

"A little more than a year ago, I was given an assignment to kill a certain man. When I found the man, he had two bodyguards with him. I wasn't surprised by this, nor was I worried since I knew I could handle it. I easily took out the first bodyguard, but when the second one tried to come for me, the man I was assigned to kill pushed him out of the way and charged instead. Again, he was no threat and he died swiftly. I turned to the second bodyguard, the only one left alive now, and told him I had no business with him, and that he could lower his weapon and walk away unscathed. He didn't listen, and flew at me in rage. I rushed at him and managed to cut him down, but not before his sword left its mark on me."

He paused and reached up with his fingers to touch the scar on his cheek.

"He did this to you?" I asked.

"Not all of it. Just one slice that ran down to my chin. Even after some time had passed, the wound would still bleed from time to time. Not long after that, I met a woman named Tomoe. She had come across me in the streets one night after she had spent some time drinking in a nearby tavern, and passed out on the spot. I took her with me to the Inn where I was staying, and the woman who ran the place was kind enough to give her a job. Tomoe spent a lot of time talking to me, and I found myself telling her more than I had ever told anyone. Then one night the Shinsengumi attacked, killing off many of our men. No one knew how they'd found us, but I was certain someone had sold us out. My boss, Katsura, escaped and found me. He told me to take Tomoe and run away to Otsu. He arranged a place for us to stay and told us we had to pretend to be married. He said that the Shinsengumi would be looking for an assassin, not a happily married man."

"So that burned down house we visited, that was where you two lived?"

"Hai. We lived there for nearly a year, and during that time I married Tomoe for real."

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. What a fool I was. Of course he had fallen in love before. How could any woman not love Kenshin? Despite what he was, his heart was purer than any man I'd ever met.

In my heart, I knew I had to let him go. But first, I wanted to hear the rest of his story.

"What happened then?"

"One morning, I woke to find Tomoe was gone. I waited for her to come back, but instead one of my comrades showed up. He told me they'd discovered who the spy was."

"Who was it?"

"Tomoe."

I gasped but Kenshin held up his hand, indicating I should wait.

"The news destroyed me. I couldn't handle the fact that she had used me. I found out then that the man who had given me half of this scar had been engaged to Tomoe, so in a way, she was repaying me for taking away her happiness. I went looking for her, but I was attacked by members of the Shogun. It had all been part of their plan. Tomoe had sought me out and made me fall in love with her so that when she betrayed me, I would be too devastated to fight. Their plan was quite effective, however I managed to stay alive long enough to face the mastermind behind the whole scheme."

He fell silent for a moment, lowering his face so I wouldn't see the pain the memories brought. I didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue on his own time. I was starting to understand why it was so difficult for him to trust people.

"The man I fought was strong, and in my injured state I would have lost had it not been for her. At the last second, she jumped in and stopped the man's attack against me, saving my life but forfeiting hers. The attack that had been meant for him ended up cutting through them both. I caught her in my arms, and during her last few moments, she raised her dagger and gave me the other cut that makes up the cross-shaped scar. I carried her body all the way back to our house where I said my goodbyes and promised her I would never kill again once the Revolution had ended."

I hung my head, staring blankly at my hands. It all made sense now. I had been selfish and naive, thinking he would never understand the pain I had endured. Now I knew, his experiences were far worse than mine.

"Kenshin, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. . . "

"I'm sorry too. Sorry I hadn't met you before Tomoe. I loved her, yes, but I've come to love you more."

I looked at him, my heart palpitating in my chest while the butterflies in my stomach fluttered erratically.

"Kenshin – "

He cut me off by bringing his hands up to cup my face.

"Can you understand now why I must leave you? Until this bloody Revolution ends, I cannot be the man you deserve. Both Hideki and I are swordsmen, and our hands are covered in blood. What you deserve is not a man who is always leaving you to fight for his country, but a husband who will always be at your side until you have both lived out your lives."

Tears rolled down my cheeks as he said this and I grasped one of his hands, turning my face so that my lips were pressed to his palm.

"My mother died during childbirth, so my sister and I grew up around men, but you are the only one who has treated me with love and respect. All my life I've been expected to submit to their wishes."

"Who's wish was it for you to marry Hideki?"

"It doesn't matter really. I did it to protect Jasmine and my father, even though it was all his fault."

"Your father's?"

"Hai. He was an incessant gambler, and he ended up owing Hideki a lot of money. He agreed to forget all my father's debts if he would give us up. So he did. At first I refused, but Hideki had Saito threaten to kill my sister and father if I didn't obey. I had no choice, so Hideki took me as his wife and Jasmine he sold to the woman who ran the Geisha house. That's how I ended up with him."

Kenshin pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly against his body.

"Even more reason why you deserve to be happy."

"You make me happy, Kenshin."

"Jade – "

"Don't leave. Stay with me, please."

"If only I could, but I owe it to both you and Tomoe to bring peace to this country. I want you to be truly free."

He pulled away from me, despite my efforts to cling to him, and rose to his feet.

"Jade, I wish you and Jasmine all the best. Take care of her, and I hope that one day I can see you happily married to a good and kind man."

"Kenshin please!"

He turned away and walked off, leaving me to watch his retreating figure.

In my chest, my heart broke into a million pieces.

Pieces that would never again be whole.


	8. Chapter 8

**8**

'_**Tis not where we lie, but whence we fell;**_

_**the loss of heaven is the greatest pain in hell**_

_PEDRO CALDERON DE LA BAREA_

_**Kyoto, Japan, 1868**_

I stood in the center of the moonlit room, staring at the bodies that littered the floor around me while wiping the blood from my sword.

I heard Jasmine sigh heavily from behind me.

"Ne Jade?"

"What is it?"

"Can we go home now? I want to take a bath."

"Ah."

She asked this every time we'd completed a job. Jasmine couldn't stand the sight and smell of blood, but such things didn't bother me.

I sheathed my sword and started for the door, Jasmine following close behind. The streets outside were deserted, but that was not surprising. No one dared to venture outside at night – not during these difficult times – unless you were a fighter for either the Shogunate or the Imperialists.

Or shadow assassins, like Jasmine and I.

The beauty of this position was no one knew you existed. We were "underground" fighters for the Imperialists, called upon only when the situation required utmost secrecy. There was only one person who knew about us, and that was the man we got our orders from.

Katsura Kogoro.

Kenshin knew us, of course, but he had no idea we were even in Kyoto let alone fighting for the Imperialists. Ever since he stepped down from his job as shadow assassin, he had completely lost contact with the underground fighters. Those of us who fought in secret and those who fought in public were forbidden from communicating with each other for the sake of keeping anonymity.

That suited me just fine. It was better if he didn't know about us being here, for now at least.

"Jasmine, I'm going to see Katsura-sama, but you need not come along. I can meet you at home."

"Ah, thank you. See you later."

I watched her walk off by herself before turning in a different direction and heading down the road. While I walked, I loosened the scarf around my neck and raised it to my face, tying it securely in place. Whenever I met with Katsura, or any of the other Imperialist officials, I concealed my face so that they never saw my identity. It was important for me not to be recognized, especially since they didn't know I was a woman.

I reached the inn where Katsura was staying and went inside. He was constantly moving around, never staying in one place for too long to avoid being caught, and only his most trusted comrades knew where he was. As usual, there was an Imperialist on guard, though any other person would not have known this as he blended in well with the other customers. However, I caught the look he gave me and instantly knew. Looking directly at him, I moved closer and sat down. A few of the other customers were casually sitting around and chatting to each other while sipping on some sake, and some of them gave me an odd look. They must have thought I looked very suspicious with my face covered, but I didn't bother worrying about them.

The man on guard took a slow sip of his drink, keeping his eyes ahead of him. I knew he wouldn't speak to me, not until I confirmed I was one of them.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future . . . " I started.

". . .concentrate the mind on the present moment," he finished, turning his head slightly to observe me.

I lowered my voice.

"I need to see the boss."

"Regarding what?"

"That is for his ears only."

He fell silent and I noticed his eyes narrow suspiciously. He was right to be careful, but I had no patience for ignorance tonight.

"Tell him _**Chi no Bara **_is here to see him."

He hesitated a moment before rising to his feet and disappearing up the stairs. I remained seated until he finally came back, nodding his approval. I rose and followed him upstairs to one of the rooms.

Katsura himself greeted me at the door.

"I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon," he said with a smile. I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me.

Only then did I notice there was someone else in the room.

Himura Kenshin sat in one of the corners of the room, his back leaning against the wall while his sword rested on the ground beside him, close at hand.

I felt my breath catch in my throat and my hands become sweaty.

Two years had done nothing to diminish my feelings for him.

Katsura noticed the direction of my gaze and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You don't have to worry about Kenshin. He's one of my most trusted men."

Kenshin had not yet looked at me, for which I was grateful. Even though he couldn't see my face, I felt he might be able to recognize me. Then again, I was probably just being paranoid. He had no reason to suspect it was me under the makeshift mask.

I knew I couldn't reveal myself to him yet. I had only been working as an Imperialist for 3 months – not long enough to prove myself.

Kenshin had said that he couldn't be with me until he fulfilled his promise to Tomoe, and he could only do that once the Revolution ended. That was why I had decided to join the Imperialists. I wanted to see this Revolution end as much as the rest of Japan, but for different reasons. I also knew, however, that Kenshin would send me back the moment he knew I was in Kyoto. When Kenshin had left, I had been a weak child. Now I was a strong woman, able to defend myself, but me just saying that would not be enough for him. If I could show him I was stronger now, maybe then he would accept my presence here.

But for now, he would know me only as _Chi no Bara_.

"I have heard much of the legendary Battousai. It is an honor to meet you," I said while bowing, making sure to keep my voice low and hushed. I didn't want him to recognize me.

He looked over at me and I noticed him hesitate for a moment. I waited in tense silence for him to say something, but the moment passed and he nodded.

"Katsura has told me about you and your partner's many accomplishments on behalf of the Imperialists, but your partner is not here tonight?"

"No. My partner went home already. It has been a long night."

"And a successful one I hope," said Katsura, indicating I should take a seat. I knelt down across from him.

"Hai. We were successful."

"That is very good news. And you're sure no one will be able to trace it back to us?"

"We left no trace behind."

Katsura leaned back with a satisfied grin on his face.

"Excellent, not that I expected anything less from our fearsome twosome. You have surely proven yourselves worthy."

_Not yet,_ I thought, glancing over at Kenshin. He didn't seem to be very interested in what we had to say, as he kept his face lowered so that it was hidden in the shadows.

Again Katsura must have noticed where I was looking.

"Gomen. I know you underground swordsmen don't like meeting with other people, but Kenshin here used to be our shadow assassin many years ago, until circumstances made him come out into the open. Believe me, he can be trusted completely. In fact, he's probably the _**only **_person you can trust here."

I knew that was true, but I had to act the part.

"I am not doubting your word, but the nature of my work makes me naturally cautious of everyone."

"I understand. However I do hope that you will get along, after all, the two of you – and your partner as well of course – will be working closely together from now on."

I grew slightly alarmed; fortunately they couldn't see.

"What do you mean?"

"For too long the two armies have been in a deadlock. Neither side has gained enough advantage to determine a winner. We have been playing it carefully, but the time for that is over. It is time to tip the scale in our favor once and for all. We need to hit them hard, and fast. That is where you come in."

I listened to his words with piqued interest. Wasn't this what I wanted? To help end the Revolution once and for all?

I glanced over at Kenshin and felt a longing for him I hadn't felt in ages. I wondered if he still felt the same way about me? Perhaps by working with him as _Chi no Bara_, I could find out.

I bowed before Katsura.

"I will do everything in my power to help."

"I was hoping for that kind of answer. What about you, Kenshin?"

"You know you can count on me," he answered without hesitation.

"Chi no Bara-san, will your partner be alright with this?"

"If he has a problem, you will still have me."

"I see, that's good to know."

I rose to my feet and bowed to Katsura again.

"I look forward to hearing from you again."

I paused and turned to Kenshin. Our eyes met for a brief moment before I broke the gaze by lowering my face.

"I look forward to working with you, Battousai."

"Ah."

Turning, I left the two men and hurried out, anxious to find and speak to Jasmine.

"Working with Kenshin? Does this mean you're going to tell him?"

"No, not yet. I'll continue to hide my identity from him. That way I can find out how he really feels."

"You think he's changed his mind about you?"

"It's been two years, Jasmine. That's a long time for a man to love someone."

"Now you're being too pessimistic."

"You know how it's been. I've only ever seen the worst in men. Kenshin is the first man to ever make me feel loved, but even that could have been a lie."

"Kenshin isn't that type of man!"

"Don't be so quick to defend someone you don't even know."

"And don't you be so quick to judge."

I crossed my arms and stared stubbornly at Jasmine, but she refused to back down. I sighed, giving up.

"Hai hai, let's just leave it at that. If you don't want to help, then you can just stay home."

"I never said I wouldn't help. We're in this together, remember."

"I remember, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Just don't forget they mustn't suspect we are women, or related to each other."

"Don't worry, Nee-chan. I won't let you down."

I strolled down the road, idly browsing through the goods being sold along the side. Jasmine and I had been forced to live and shop on the opposite side of Kyoto to avoid being seen by anyone we might know. We hardly ever ventured out during the day, only when it was necessary to purchase something, and even then we avoided going out together.

Today was my turn to do the shopping. It was better if I did it, since Jasmine always came back with more than what was necessary.

I paused to look over some vegetables, but felt my stomach drop when I saw the price. If only we had a garden of our own, we could grow what we needed. Saita-sensei had taught us how to grow our own vegetables, but here in Kyoto there was limited space. There was no room for a garden where we were staying.

My thoughts turned to Otsu. The time I had spent there had been the best years of my life. It was the kind of place I wanted to go back to. Maybe once the Revolution had ended, Kenshin, Jasmine and I could go back and start up our new lives there.

Smiling at the thought, I turned to go, but froze when I saw two men walking down the road towards me. Both wore Shinsengumi uniforms, but I only recognized one as Okita Souji, the boy prodigy and leader of one of the Shinsegumi squads.

I watched them enter a small tea house and quickly made up my mind to follow. After waiting a few moments, I entered the tea house. The two men were seated near the back, talking quietly together. I moved over to the table behind then and sat down with my back towards them. A woman came over and I quietly ordered a cup of tea. As soon as she left, I focused on listening to their conversation.

". . .killed two nights ago."

"Was it the Ishin Shishi?"

"I'd like to think so, but there is no proof that they were involved."

"Dammit, this means that they have more than one shadow assassin."

"You mean you don't think it was Shishio?"

"Unless there are two Shishio's, it would have been impossible for him. My squad encountered him on the opposite side of Kyoto around the same time the killings took place."

"Shit. What are they up to?"

"I have no idea, but it seems they've got another strong ally."

I smiled smugly, knowing they were referring to Jasmine and I. We were well on our way to proving ourselves if even the Shinsengumi were starting to fear us.

"But what about the Battousai? He's still our biggest threat."

"Ah, no doubt about that. I want to be the one who finally puts an end to the legendary manslayer."

"Do you think we should take him out first?"

"Definitely. If we can kill their best man, the entire army will be in turmoil, and we'll be able to take them out once and for all."  
"And the shadow assassins?"

"Don't worry. Their type has a reputation for not getting too involved. They wouldn't want to show themselves and since Himura is well-known, they'll avoid mixing in with public affairs."

_Baka, you only think that because you haven't had to do with me yet!_

I finished my tea and threw down some money before grabbing the groceries and walking out. I was in no hurry to get home, using the time to mull over their words. So they were thinking of going after Kenshin? I had to warn him to be careful. . .but then he might want to know how I had gotten hold of such information. No, it would be better to stay quiet and just keep an eye on him. If we went along with Katsura's plan for us to work together, then I'd have an excuse to be close to him.

I didn't doubt Kenshin's abilities, but I would stay close at hand just in case.

"Onee-chan! Where have you been?"

"Ah, gomen Jasmine. I got. . . distracted."  
"Never mind about that! We've been summoned by Katsura-sama."

"For when?" I asked.

"Tonight."

"That's sooner than I thought. I haven't had time to think of a plan yet."

"Eh? What are you talking about?"

"Let's go inside so I can explain. I believe Kenshin is in danger!"


	9. Chapter 9

_**9**_

_**Cut me free, bleed with me**_

_**Oh no**_

_**One by one, we will fall**_

_**Down down**_

_**Pull the plug, end the pain**_

_**Run'n fight for life, hold on tight**_

_**This ain't my fight**_

_TENTH MAN DOWN – NIGHTWISH_

The silence of the room was making my ears ring. Jasmine sat motionless at my side, a thoughtful look in her eyes.

For the entire afternoon the two of us had discussed a course of action, throwing ideas around and debating their possible usefulness. Despite all that, we still hadn't come up with an adequate plan.

We would have to wait to hear what Katsura had to say before we could decide.

Speaking of Katsura, what was taking him so long? How much longer would we have to wait for him to arrive? The bulky clothing we wore to hide our bodies was uncomfortable, and it was hot under the masks that shielded our faces. Jasmine seemed to sense what I was thinking.

"Wouldn't it be better if we revealed ourselves now?"

Ignoring her question, I whispered, "I would prefer it if you didn't speak during the meeting."

Even though I couldn't see her face, I could sense her look of disdain. Before either of us could argue the point anymore, the door opened and Katsura strolled in followed by Kenshin.

I refrained from looking at him, focusing instead on Katsura who was smiling slightly in greeting.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. I'll get straight to the point. The reason I've called you two here tonight is to inform you of the recent, disturbing events. The Shogun have beat us to it and made the first move."

I took the folded sheet of paper from his outstretched hand and quickly opened it.

After reading it over, I turned my attention back to Katsura.

"What is this?"

"An official decree that will be sent out by to the public if we don't comply with their demands. The sneaky bastards are trying to force our hand."

I glanced over the note again.

_**To the Leaders of the Ishin Shishi,**_

_**We, the members of the Bakufu, formally approach the Imperialists with a request to end this ongoing battle. We are willing to negotiate the terms of the new regime, however we insist that you hand over the notorious manslayer known as Battousai, who deliberately attacked and murdered a group of innocent merchants two nights ago. If you meet our simple demand, we will, for the sake of peace, meet with you to discuss the future of this country.**_

"Two nights ago? But that was when we – "

The realization hit me. This had been a trap all along, and we had foolishly stepped right into it.

I slammed my fist into the ground, biting my lower lip until it bled. It was all clear to me now. The bastards had leaked false information about a secret meeting, hoping the Ishin Shishi would take the bait and send either Kenshin or Shishio to kill the men. But in actual fact, the men at the meeting had been nothing but hired puppets that would serve as sacrifices. They were smarter than I thought, luring us into a situation like this.

This was worse than I had anticipated. They were trying to turn us into the bad guys by fooling the public into believing it was our fault that the Revolution was still going on. They were using the fact that the people were sick of the bloodshed to gain the upper hand. If they sent this decree out to the public, the people would turn against the Imperialists for failing to hand over a "notoriously cold-blooded" murderer and thus end the war.

The only thing that was something of a relief was the fact that they hadn't anticipated there being more than one shadow assassin. Our presence had taken them by surprise, but they were still counting on us wanting to stay hidden and since they could prove Shishio hadn't been responsible for the group of men's deaths, they were looking to pin this murder on Kenshin.

"Are they really willing to negotiate?"

"Of course not. It's all a lie, but a believable one that could cause us a lot of problems. It's either give in to them now, or be forced to give in to them later once the entire population is on their side."

"This is our fault. We can't give in to them. Himura-san hasn't done anything wrong!"

"I realize that, but unless you come out into the open, we can't prove Kenshin's innocence."

"Then we'll come out into the open," I said, leaning forward slightly. My insides were burning in rage, part of that anger directed at myself for messing things up for Kenshin. I wouldn't forgive myself if I let them get away with this.

"You can't."

It was Kenshin who said this, taking me by surprise. I glanced over at him with a questioning look.

"Right now you two are our only secret weapon. You can't reveal yourselves just yet."

"But – "

"Kenshin is right. We need to think about this carefully."

Without thinking, I opened my mouth to speak.

"We'll just need to fight fire with fire."

Both Katsura and Kenshin seemed genuinely surprised by my outburst. I realized what I had said and struggled to think of something to back my words. Slowly everything began to click into place. The guys from the Shogun weren't planning on really releasing their statement to the public. They were mocking us with empty threats, pressuring us to make hasty decisions. They were fully aware of another shadow assassin, but they were counting on us not revealing ourselves. The idea that Jasmine had brought up earlier came to mind, and I began to build on it. There was only one thing we could do that would buy us some time.

"We send them a reply letter saying we agree to their terms, but ask for a week to write up our conditions for the new regime. Tell them that at the end of the week, once the agreement has been made, we will hand Kenshin over to them."

"But what good will that do us?"

"At the same time we put out a decree telling the people that the war will soon be over and that at the end of the week there will be a new order."

"That's crazy! We refuse to negotiate with those good-for-nothing Shogun officials. It's our way, or no way."

"Please understand Katsura-sama, we are merely doing this to stall for time. If we can show we're serious about negotiating, they might drop their guard enough for us to get an advantage. Besides, if the people suspect there will be a treaty of some sort, they will be forced to go along with it, if only for appearance's sake"

I saw the implication on my words sink in slowly and Katsura's eyes widened ever so slightly.

"Ah, I see where you are going, but it's still a big risk."

"A risk we'll have to take. I know I'm asking a lot, but please, you must trust me on this."

Katsura eyed me carefully for a long time before he finally burst into laughter.

"Alright, you win. I suppose at this stage we have nothing more to lose."

I lowered my face to the ground in thanks.

"Thank you, but I have one more thing to ask."

"What is it?"

"Actually, my question is directed at the Battousai."

Kenshin looked at me in question, waiting for me to speak. I allowed myself to stare directly into his eyes.

"Himura-sama, will you allow me to stay with you? I realize you are much stronger than me, but I would feel better knowing I could offer some kind of protection or support, to make up for putting you in this position."

Kenshin was silent for a few moments before he sighed and nodded his agreement.

I smiled, even though he couldn't see, and turned back to Katsura.

"We will take our leave for now. I leave the writing of the message and the decree up to you. I will be back tomorrow, and from then on I will stay with you for the remainder of the week."

Katsura and Kenshin nodded and watched as Jasmine and I rose. Once we were outside, Jasmine turned to me.

"Do you know what you're doing?"

"Not really, but I was thinking we should go with your suggestion."

"You mean – "

I quickly cut her off by pressing my hand over her mouth and freezing. Jasmine struggled against me for a moment until I finally released her.

"What was that for?"

"I thought I heard footsteps behind us."

Jasmine glanced back, but saw nothing but an empty street.

"Are you sure?"

"It could have been my imagination, but I would feel better if we refrained from speaking until we reach our house."

"Agreed, let's go."

Yukishiro Enishi sat on the corner of the street, watching the house.

They lived there, the two shadow assassins.

Two. Not one.

Of course he wouldn't share this information with the Shogun just yet. No, he wanted to observe them some more before he made a move. If he thought about it carefully, there was no real reason for him to inform the Shogun that they were dealing with _**two**_ more underground Imperialists, and not just one as they suspected.

After all, he was only after the Battousai. These two didn't matter.

Still, he watched them because they might just lead him to the Battousai.

Battousai the Manslayer. Whenever he heard that name, he wanted to spit in disgust. He didn't deserve to live. Not after everything he'd done.

His beloved sister was dead, and it was all that man's fault!

"Battousai, I will never forgive you!"

Enishi quickly caught himself, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. He couldn't help it; every time he thought about it, he got all worked up.

He turned his attention back to the house. He had first followed the two shadow assassins on the night they killed group of men planted by the Shogun. They had left the scene together, but eventually split up. By chance he chose to follow the one which led him straight to this house.

Of course he couldn't be certain yet, so he had hung around the place for two more days until he spied them leaving the house together again. They had gone to a nearby inn and spent a lot of time there, but eventually his waiting paid off and they came out together again. This time they didn't split up, and he had followed them all the way back to the same house.

He was sure now; they lived here.

Strange though. During the day he saw a woman sometimes leave the house to do some shopping. She was probably one of the assassin's wife, or sister maybe. She seemed to be about his age, so she was probably around 18 or 19 years old.

She was also the only person he saw enter or leave the house, except for the two assassins who only came out at night and even then they wore clothing to hide their faces.

He decided to go back for now and come again in the morning to take up his regular post. Perhaps he should try befriending the girl. He might just learn something from her.

But that would be tomorrow's worries.

Jasmine stepped out the front door, careful not to make any noise. She didn't want to wake her sister.

She was tired as well, but there were things that needed to be done and they didn't have much time. She had spent most of the night talking to Jade about what they were going to do. Her elder sister had explained the plan to her, but it was very risky.

Proper timing was impeccable.

She thought back to her sister's words:

"_Will you be able to handle it, Jasmine?"_

"_Hai, I won't let you down Onee-chan!"_

"_Good. Now remember come to me if you need anything, and be careful when you go out. You never know who may be an enemy."_

Jasmine couldn't help but feel a small sense of pride that the suggestion had been hers in the first place. Sure her sister had tweaked it a bit, but the idea was originally hers.

If they pulled this off, the Revolution might just be over for good.

Jasmine quickly slapped herself for getting too excited and set her mind on the task ahead. Fortunately this was her area of expertise.

She went about the market, gathering together the things they would need. She couldn't help but feel a bit nostalgic. In a way, she missed her old life, but then again she wouldn't give up being with Jade for anything in the world. Jade was more important to her than anything.

After buying everything she could think they would need, Jasmine set off for home, wondering if her sister would be awake by now. Jade had mentioned she would be leaving as soon as she woke again, but promised to stay in contact. Jasmine hoped to catch her before she left.

She hated the fact that she'd be away from Jade, but took comfort in the fact that her elder sister would be happy where she was.

Jade was never happier than when she was with Kenshin, no matter how much she tried to deny it. In a way, she was jealous that Jade loved someone other than her, but again, she continued to remind herself that Kenshin made her happy, and that was what Jade deserved.

A blur appeared in Jasmine's line of vision, and before she knew it she found herself on the ground, the contents of her basket strewn across the ground.

"Oh! Gomen nasai, I wasn't watching where I was going," said a gentle male voice. Jasmine glanced up to see a young man with dark hair bend down and start to gather together the items she had dropped.

"Gomen, it was partly my fault. I was so deep in thought I didn't even notice you."

He laughed a little before offering her his hand. Smiling, Jasmine took his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet.

"Thank you for helping me."

"It's no problem. You have an awful lot of things here. Why don't you let me help you carry them?"

Again Jasmine smiled. It had been a long time since a man had been so nice to her.

"I would appreciate it."

The two of them set off down the road, each carrying half of the load.

"By the way, my name is Enishi."

"I'm Jasmine."

"What a beautiful name you have, Jasmine-chan."

A blush crept into Jasmine's cheeks and she turned her face away slightly so he wouldn't see. He was a handsome young man, and very polite.

As they approached the street in which she lived, she turned back to him.

"Ne, Enishi-san."  
"Hm?"

"Would you . . .would you like to come inside? I can make some tea."

"Ah, that would be nice," he replied with a smile.

She returned the smile and turned her back to open the door, not seeing the sweet smile on his face turn into a wide smirk.


	10. Chapter 10

10

_**Then must you speak of one **_

_**who loved not wisely,**_

_**but too well**_

_WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE_

Kenshin sat with his back leaning against a pile of books, staring out at the sky. The shadow assassin known as _Chi no Bara _sat nearby.

This guy was a strange one, yet at the same time, he reminded him of someone. Kenshin couldn't quite figure out who, but then again he knew so many other swordsmen.

The sound of two women happily chatting together reached his ears and he turned his head to find the source. He spotted the women walking side by side, each one carrying a wooden bucket. They stopped beside the well and began raising water to fill their buckets.

Kenshin was reminded of Jade and Jasmine. How long had it been since he'd last seen them? Two years, was it?

And how many more years until he saw them again? He didn't even know where they were.

Even though he'd stopped visiting them in person, he'd made it a point to check up on them every now and then, just to see if they were alright. But a few months ago they'd disappeared.

Just like that.

Without a trace.

He wished he could see her again, if only for a moment. He just wanted to look at her, to touch her face and tell her one last time that he loved her.

If he could do that, he'd be happy.

"Kenshin?"

He was snapped from his daze when he heard his name and he turned his head sharply to the speaker.

_Chi no Bara _was looking at him with . . .was that concern in his eyes? No, couldn't be.

"Are you alright?" he asked in that strange, whispery voice of his. Kenshin turned his body slightly away from the other man. Not that he disliked the assassin; he just got a strange feeling whenever the other man was around.

"I'm fine."

"You seem worried. Is it because of the plan?"

"No the plan is fine. I was just thinking about. . . someone."

_Chi no Bara _seemed to hesitate for a moment before shifting closer.

"A woman?"

Kenshin swallowed against the dryness in his throat, but said nothing in response to the other man's question. He wanted to tell him it was none of his business who he thought about, but again he had no reason to be disrespectful to the person who was willing to sacrifice so much –

Why was he willing to sacrifice so much? He had barely been working for them for half a year, yet here he was giving up his time to protect Kenshin even when he clearly understood that his strength paled in comparison to Kenshin's.

Why? For what? It was one thing to fight to protect your country, but to fight to protect another man you didn't even know?

Something wasn't right here.

"Ah gomen nasai. I shouldn't pry."

"You know, if you really want people to trust you, you'd remove that mask from your face."

The assassin's hands quickly flew up to his face, as though he feared Kenshin would rip away the cloth that shielded him. Kenshin pressed on.

"You've asked so much of us, requesting we put our faith in you and your plan, yet you still hide from us. If you ask me, that shows you still don't trust us enough to show us your identity."

For a long time, _Chi no Bara _remained mute. Slowly he lowered his hands.

"I can't do it yet. I'm sorry," he finally answered.

"But – "

_Chi no Bara_'s head shot up and he leaned forward.

"Look at me!"

Kenshin did as he asked, staring into his shadowed eyes.

"Do you trust me?"

_**. . . Look at me. Jade look at me. . .do you trust me?**_

_**. . .I do.**_

"What did you say?" Kenshin asked, his eyes wide with surprise. Hadn't he and Jade had this conversation before? How could the man before him have known that? No, he couldn't, it had to be a coincidence.

The assassin said nothing, but there was a strange look in his eyes. Without a word, his eyes closed and he rose to his feet.

"Gomen."

Kenshin watched him leave, feeling a tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach.

Why?

Why did this man remind him so much of Jade?

I hurried out of Kenshin's room, fighting against the lump in my throat. I didn't want to do this anymore. I wanted to strip off all this clothing that made me _Chi no Bara _and walk right back into that room as Jade.

What was I doing here? I wasn't a fighter! I was. . .I was. . .

I was a girl, that was all.

I stopped walking, covering my eyes with one hand while leaning against the wall with the other.

_Kenshin. . ._

I needed his expertise. I needed his assurances. I needed _**him**_!

"Ah, Chi no Bara-san! Good news, your plan worked. We received a reply from the Shogun saying they agree to our proposal. So, how about we hear the rest of your brilliant plan now?"

I sighed, leaning further towards the wall until my head was resting against it.

Katsura stepped closer, his hand coming up and resting on my shoulder.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I just. . . "

"You just?"

"Gomen Katsura-sama. I haven't gotten much sleep."

"Ah, I understand. A room has been prepared for you right next to Kenshin's. Rest a while. We'll talk later."

I watched him continue down the passage and enter Kenshin's room before sliding to the ground.

It was too late to be getting cold feet. I'd started this, and I would finish it.

Even if it killed me.

"Soon Kenshin. I'll reveal myself to you soon. Wait for me."

Jasmine's merry laughter echoed throughout the house. Clutching her sides, she waved her hand animatedly.

"Oh Enishi, you can't be serious."

"No it's true! When I fell out of the tree, one of the braches ripped a huge hole in the back of my pants. I had to walk all the way home like that."

"Wasn't your mother upset with you?"

Enishi's smile faded a little.

"Unfortunately my mother died when I was very young, so my sister raised me."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. My mother died when I was young too. I can't remember her at all."

"Did you grow up alone then?"

"No, I also have a sister that took care of me, though sometimes she's the one who needs taking care of."

"It sounds like you two are very close."

"We are."

"And where is your sister now?"

"She is visiting a friend in another village for a while," she replied without any hesitation.

The years she'd spent living with other women had taught her many things, one of them being if you were going to lie, you had to look and sound convincing.

Yet Jasmine couldn't help feeling like she was caught in a game of cat and mouse. Perhaps it was just her sister's cautiousness that was rubbing off on her, but she couldn't help feeling a bit nervous with Enishi.

She was probably just feeling this way because of everything that was happening.

After her encounter with Enishi yesterday, she had gone out and done what was required of her. She felt a bit better knowing part of the plan had gone smoothly, and even managed to convince herself she was happy that Enishi had come over to visit again.

But after an hour of casual conversation, she was starting to feel a kind of tension in the air.

"Ne Jasmine-chan?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think this war will ever end?"

His question caught her by surprise.

"I. . .I do."

"I hope the Imperialists win and put Emperor Meiji back on the throne."

There was no mistaking the fire that burned in his eyes when he said this. It seemed he truly was an Imperialist supporter.

"Enishi, you support the Ishin Shishi?"

The young man looked away, blushing a little.

"Hai."

Jasmine leaned forward and clasped her hands around his.

"What a relief. So am I."

"Really? I was afraid you might support the Shogun."

"No, I believe in freedom for all."

"You really are an amazing woman, Jasmine-chan."

Now it was Jasmine's turn to blush. She felt her doubts slowly melt away.

"Gomen Jasmine-chan. Would you excuse me for a moment?"

Nodding, she watched him rise to his feet and head down the hall in the direction of the bathroom.

While she waited for him to return, she started gathering the empty tea cups and stacking them onto the tray. She reached for the spoon Enishi had used, but the utensil slipped from her fingers, landing with a thud underneath the table.

Muttering to herself, she bent down to reach for it.

And that's when she saw it.

Enishi finished up his business and walked back out to where Jasmine was still sitting. He couldn't believe how smoothly things were going. A few more words on how fiercely he was devoted to the Ishin Shishi's cause and she would be spilling everything she knew.

She trusted him, no doubt about that.

"Sorry about that. Where were we?"

"Enishi-kun, do you really wish for the Revolution to end?"

"Of course I do! This country has become a dangerous place. It isn't right to put women like you in danger."

The pretty, young girl sidled up to him. He wondered what she was thinking about. He wasn't in the mood for any mushy stuff.

But he noticed the serious look in her eyes and realized that wasn't what she had in mind.

"Well if you promise not to tell, I'll let you in on a little secret."

She was so innocent, so foolishly naïve.

"I promise not to tell."

She smiled and leaned closer, bringing her mouth up to his ear.

"I know Battousai the Manslayer personally."

A mixture of shock and excitement swirled around in his stomach, making goosebumps rise up all over his skin.

This was what he had been waiting for!

But he'd have to play it cool. He didn't want to give himself away.

"The legendary Imperialist?"

"Hai."

"That's amazing. How do you know him?"

Jasmine sat back, pouting her lips slightly as she thought for a moment.

"It's a long story, but I heard from him that they're very serious about this treaty business. The Imperialists are taking the negotiations very seriously. Some of the members have even left because everyone is so certain the Revolution is finally over."

She seemed so enthusiastic about it. Foolish really. Did she really believe it would be that easy? The Shogun government wasn't going to go down so quietly. They were planning on taking out every last one of the Ishin Shishi.

"Ah is that so? I'm glad, but aren't they a little worried the Shinsengumi will attack?"

"Oh no. I heard they're turning the meeting into a celebration with lots of food, drink, and good company."

Enishi sneered inwardly. The cowards. So they were planning on bringing innocent people to the meeting to prevent the Shogun from planning a surprise attack. Well it was because they knew they didn't stand a chance.

But if that was true, then it meant they weren't planning on fighting to save Kenshin. Technically the public didn't know about the arrangement that Kenshin was supposed to be handed over to the Shogun, but if Jasmine truly knew Himura, then she'd know about this.

"Ne, Jasmine-chan, will the Battousai stop fighting after the Revolution?"

Her face fell and in that instant he knew. She really was telling the truth.

"Himura-san will be handed over to the Shogun at the meeting."

"What?" Enishi asked, feigning surprise.

"He murdered a group of innocent merchants. As punishment, the Shogun wish to take his own life."

"Surely the Imperialists won't allow it!"

"There's nothing they can do. This is for the sake of the country. Even Himura-san agrees."

"I'm sorry."

Enishi felt he was finally getting somewhere. Now all he needed to do was find out when the two assassins that lived with Jasmine were meeting with Battousai again and follow them to him.

He'd finally have his revenge, and the Shogun would wipe out the rest of these cowards. Not that he really cared about that. It didn't matter to him who ruled the country, just as long as Himura Kenshin got what he deserved.

"I feel bad for Kenshin-san though. It wasn't him that murdered those men."

"Eh? What do you mean Jasmine-chan?"

"Well actually. . . " she hesitated, turning her face away from him. He needed to know what she was going to say, and so he leaned forward, gently brushing his lips against hers.

She seemed shocked by his action, and he pulled back a little to look her in the eye.

"You can trust me, Jasmine-chan. I would never, ever betray you."

She smiled and nodded, brushing a stray tear from her eye.

"I believe you, Enishi. The truth is, my sister and I were responsible for those men's deaths. "

_What?! They are?_

How was that possible? This girl and her sister were the shadow assassins? Now that he thought about it, he had never seen the assassins and the girls at the same time. So far it seems she had been telling him the truth, but could he trust her word on this one?

Well, he would keep that information to himself until he was certain. For now he needed to keep her trust.

"If that is true, then I don't believe you are guilty. You can't be blamed for not knowing they were innocent."

She smiled weakly at him and nodded. He continued to reassure her, all the while thinking about how he was going to keep a closer eye on her.

His hunch had been right.

This girl was his ticket to getting his revenge!

_Tomoe, your death will be avenged soon._


	11. Chapter 11

_11_

_**My loving heart**_

_**Lost in the dark**_

_**For hope I'd give my everything**_

_NEMO – NIGHTWISH_

I stood beside the open window, wishing I could feel the cool breeze that blew past. Five days of practically living in this disguise was starting to annoy me. I was forced to wait until everyone was fast asleep before I bathed for fear of someone walking in, and even that was risky considering how many of the men here were swordsmen and therefore light sleepers.

But at least it was nearly over.

I heard a light tap at the door before it slid open a little. One of the servant girls was kneeling at the entrance.

"Excuse me, but a note just arrived for you."

I walked over to her and took the folded slip of paper.

"Thank you."

The girl bowed and closed the door again. I waited until I heard her retreating footsteps before opening the note.

It was from Jasmine. She confirmed everything was in place. It was a relief, but I knew something was up. Yesterday, when I had gone to see her briefly, she had been so confident that things would work out. She told me the Shogun would not be suspicious of what we were doing.

I didn't understand. How could she know that? But she simply said she would come over tomorrow night because she had something to say.

For now though, I needed to bring the others up to date.

I walked out of my room and headed for Kenshin's room. Fortunately Katsura was with him, and after bowing in greeting, I hurried over and sat down across from them.

"I have received word that everything is in place."

"Excellent, we were just discussing how everyone should be placed."

I leaned forward to look at the map of the temple where we would have the meeting that was spread out on the small table and examined the points they had marked off.

I could feel Kenshin's gaze on me and brought my eyes up to look at him. He had a light frown on his face, but I ignored him for now and turned my attention back to the map.

"This looks fine. The girls will enter here," I explained, pointing to the main entrance. I waited for both men to nod before continuing.

"They will be kept in this room over here, while you and the Shogun officials will be meeting over here. Most of the guards will be positioned close to the meeting room, though I doubt they will be allowed inside."

"Right, and we won't have any guards with us, correct?" Katsura asked.

"Correct. Your men will be in their positions waiting for the signal."

"Will you be in the meeting room with us?"

"No, but my partner and I will both be there. By the time I give the signal, all the guards around the perimeter will be eliminated. My partner will see to it that the girls get away safely. Then it will all be up to our fighters."

"But how will you two manage to get inside? Only myself, Kenshin and two of the other leaders will be representing the Ishin Shishi."

I couldn't help smiling to myself, wondering if I shouldn't show them how I planned on getting in, but thought better of it after a moment and simply shook my head.

"That's a secret, Katsura-sama."

The man chuckled lightly.

"You're so secretive about yourself. Surely by now you trust us enough."

"Of course. I would trust you both with my life. Believe me, if you saw me, you would understand why I keep myself hidden."

Katsura shook his head, though I caught his small smile of amusement.

"Well, I'm off to send our proposal to the Bakufu and then see to the men. Kenshin, no more going out. We want them to think we've cut ourselves off from you."

"Hai."

Once Kenshin and I were alone, I turned to him.

"Himura-san, are you afraid of death?"

"No. Sometimes I feel like it would be welcome."

I tried desperately to keep the alarm from my voice. He had never shared his thoughts on death and dying with me, probably because I was a woman and he didn't want to shock me. But as I was now – an assassin whose hands were covered in blood – he saw me differently, almost like a kin who understood what it was like to fight.

"Do you regret becoming involved with the Revolution?"

"I am a swordsman. It's the only thing I know how to do. I couldn't do anything except fight for the Revolution."

I remembered the time I'd first met Kenshin. He had once told me that had I known what he was, I would have left him to die. In all honesty, I had contemplated leaving him out there. Back then I had hated all men, and would have felt nothing if he died.

But there was just something about him, something in his face that made me think "maybe this guy wasn't like the rest".

And I was right; he wasn't like anyone I'd ever met.

"I'm sure there's someone who would be very sad if you were to die," I whispered.

I felt his gaze, but couldn't bring myself to look at him. I knew the moment I looked into his eyes I would break down. How could he talk about his own death so easily? Surely he must know how I would feel.

"There used to be someone."

His words caught my attention and I raised my head slightly.

_**Used**__ to be. . ._

Was he referring to Tomoe?

"I don't know where she is now, but there was a time not too long ago when she would have cared. But now. . .

I did the worst thing I could have done. I left her."

Tears glistened in my eyes as I listened to him speak. I couldn't speak for fear of him hearing my voice crack.

He was referring to me.

He continued, talking more to himself than to me.

"I didn't want to do it. I nearly gave in to her pleas. But I kept reminding myself I was doing it for her, so that she could have a good life. What did I have to offer her? Me, a cold-hearted murderer, a broken man? After everything she'd been through, she deserved so much more."

I heard him draw in a shaky breath and cautiously lifted my head some more until I could see him. He was sitting with his face buried in his hands.  
I was forced to bite my lip to keep myself from saying anything.

"After leaving her just like that, I don't deserve an inkling of her love; and yet, if she would shed even a single tear over my death, it would be enough for me."

The silence that followed his confession hung heavily in the air, but I used the time to gain control of my emotions. When I finally felt ready to speak, I lifted my face.

"I believe she still loves you, and would forgive you if you went back to her."

"I can't. She's been hurt too many times by men like me – by murderers."

"Kenshin, the Revolution is coming to its end. You will be able to lay your sword down and become the man you think she deserves."

For the first time since I'd been here I saw a small smile appear on his face.

"You know, you sound just like her now."

I laughed a little.

"Well perhaps she's speaking through me."

He turned his face to look at me, his smile broadening.

"Ah, maybe she is."

Enishi watched the house carefully, waiting with barely restrained anxiousness for something to happen. They were in day 6 now; this time tomorrow the Imperialists will be handing Battousai over to the Bakufu.

Unless he got to the killer first, which he fully intended to do.

Some guys from the Shinsengumi had confronted him two days ago, demanding he tell them everything he knew.

He shared some of the information he'd gleaned from dear, naïve little Jasmine, telling them only that it seemed the Ishin Shishi were serious and that if they received a request asking that "entertainment" be allowed at the meeting, they could gladly accept knowing it wasn't a trap.

"After all," Enishi stated with confidence, "I doubt they'd be smart enough to think up a plot. They're just scared you do something to them, so they're bringing innocent young maidens along to make sure you don't slit their throats."

The Shinsengumi guys joined in laughing.

"That's right. I heard only four people will be at the meeting. Seems the rest of their group decided their lives are more valuable. They're not even bringing any guards."

They had laughed and made some more fun of the Ishin Shishi before separating. At least he'd given them what they wanted to hear. He wasn't about to tell them anything else.

Besides, it seemed unlikely that Jasmine could kill people for a living. She was way too nice and trusting. All he'd had to do was act like a caring gentlemen and she was putty in his hands.

Women were foolish that way. Hadn't his sister also fallen for those tricks? The Battousai had toyed with her. He hadn't really loved her, but she was stupid enough to believe he did.

And look where that had gotten her.

Six feet underground.

He noticed some movement in the house and spotted a figure emerge into the cool night air. He recognized the bulky clothing as that which the assassins wore. There was only one, and he began to suspect Jasmine had been telling the truth about her being the assassin, since she had been the only one in the house. Still that didn't mean someone hadn't slipped in without him noticing.

He waited until the figure had walked passed before following as quietly as he could. Jasmine – assuming it was her under all that clothing – didn't notice him following her. She walked quite a distance to yet another inn. It seemed the Imperialists moved around a lot, but that didn't matter.

All he wanted to know was whether the Battousai was in there, and if he was, how he was going to get inside.

He stopped a short distance away and watched "Jasmine" walk inside.

_Great, what now?_

He had been so focused on finding the Battousai that he hadn't even thought about what he was going to do once he did.

Well, he was going to kill him of course, but he still needed to get passed the others. Sure he could walk inside without arousing suspicion. He wasn't officially part of either the Shogun or the Shinsengumi, though he did help them sometimes in exchange for information. But he couldn't just waltz into the Battousai's room like that.

He paced up and down a couple of times, eyeing the inn carefully while his mind worked furiously on a plan of action.

Ten minutes passed before he decided to take a look around. He slipped around the side of the inn, walking quietly past the windows and doors while all the while looking for any sign of the Battousai.

He was just starting on his second trip around the inn when he heard voices coming from one of the rooms on the second floor.

He strained to hear and caught a few words like, "Shogun", "meeting", and to his delight, "Battousai".

He kept a watchful eye on the room, waiting for his chance. He didn't have to wait long before the voices faded and the lights flickered out.

Smirking, Enishi hurried over to the nearest tree. Fortunately, one of its branches hung over the balcony of one of the rooms nearby.

He scampered up the tree and landed lightly on the balcony. He waited a moment to see if he'd disturbed the room's occupants, but there was no sound and so he continued.

The manslayer's room was just two rooms away, and Enishi quickly and as quietly as possible hopped across the gap separating the balconies.

At last he reached the Battousai's room, and he reached for the door, hands shaking with excitement.

_Finally my sister, I will get my revenge on the man who took you from me!_

The door slid open with a quiet swoosh and Enishi stepped inside, blinking a few times to grow accustomed to the darkness of the room.

He instantly spotted a figure lying on the _futon _in the center of the room, and from the sounds of it, the person was fast asleep.

As he stepped forward, Enishi was pleased to see the familiar cross-shaped scar.

_At last! At last!_

He could hardly believe his moment was here! After three years, he was finally going to kill the bastard.

The smirk on his face widened and with an evil glint in his eyes he took a step forward.

Within a fraction of a second, he sensed something move behind him, and before he knew what was happening there was a sword blade pressed to his throat.

"Don't move," came a low voice in his ear. With wide eyes he saw the Battousai rise from the bed, fully awake even though Enishi had been sure he was sleeping. The door opened and two more people entered, each one carrying a lamp.

One of the men stepped forward, raising the lamp so that it illuminated Enishi's face.

"Well well, what have we here?"

I watched the young man struggle in vain against his bonds, waiting to see what would happen.

How in the world had Jasmine known he would try to attack Kenshin? And who was he anyway?

Katsura must have been thinking along the same lines, as he turned to Jasmine first.

"How did you know he was planning to break in?"

From the look of rage in the prisoner's eyes, I could tell he was wondering the same.

"It was because of this," Jasmine answered, leaning forward and removing a slim object from the prisoner's belt. She pulled on it to reveal it was a small dagger.

"A dagger? But how is that unusual?" Katsura asked, clearly confused.

"Most people carry daggers these days," I added.

"This is true, however how many people do you know carry daggers with the words _**Aku Soku Zan **_engraved in the hilt?"

She passed the dagger around for us all to see and turned to the young man.

"Did you think I wouldn't recognize the Shinsengumi motto, Enishi-kun?"

I noticed Kenshin draw back a little. There was a pained look on his face. Was it because this Enishi had tried to kill him? No, Kenshin should be used to that by now. What was the problem then?

"Are you going to kill me? Do you really think you can do it?"

My attention was drawn back to Enishi. He was staring directly at Jasmine, waiting for her to speak.

Strangely she said nothing in reply.

A smirk formed on Enishi's face as he continued to stare at my sister.

"I see you wear that disguise even while amongst your comrades. So they don't know yet? They don't know you are actually a woman, that both of you are women," he said, his eyes sweeping over to me.

I retracted a little in surprise. How did he know that?

When I glanced around, I saw both Kenshin and Katsura were staring at us. Katsura had a look of disbelief on his face, but Kenshin's eyes widened slightly. He stepped towards me, reaching out with his hand and yanking away the cloth that hid my face.

"Jade."

Jasmine removed her disguise as well.

"Twins?! Kenshin, do you know these girls?"

But Kenshin didn't reply to Katsura's question. He was staring at me intently.

I took a step towards him.

"Kenshin, I. . . "

A silence enveloped the room for a moment until Katsura broke it.

"Ok I can see there are some things that need explaining. I will escort the prisoner to another room until we decide what to do with him. Why don't you three use the opportunity to clear the air?"

Katsura grabbed hold of Enishi's arm and dragged him out the room with him, closing the door behind them.

I immediately turned to Kenshin.

"Kenshin, I'm sorry I didn't – "

But my words were cut off when he suddenly pulled me into his arms.

"I was worried about you."

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his body in an attempt to get closer to him. I had longed to do this ever since I first saw him.

"Ne, do you really still love me?" he whispered in my ear.

"Of course."

"I'm sorry Jade."

I didn't know what he was saying sorry for, but it didn't matter now. I was with him, that was all that matter.

"I'm sorry too."

_We'll work it out. Everything will be alright now._

_Yes, we'll be fine._

_I'm sure of it. . ._


	12. Chapter 12

**12**

_**How do you do it?**_

_**Make me feel like I do.**_

_**How do you do it?**_

_**It's better than I ever knew.**_

_STELLAR– INCUBUS_

"So that's the story?"

"Most of it, yes," I replied, nodding.

Kenshin folded his arms across his chest, closing his eyes in thought. Jasmine was unusually silent next to me. She had only spoken when she shared her story of how she met Enishi with us. Other than that, she said nothing.

Kenshin didn't seem as mad as I had initially thought, but he too was strangely quiet. Why was it that everyone around me seemed to be thinking about something important, yet they wouldn't share it with me? Surely they trusted me enough.

Katsura broke my train of thought when he entered the room, walking over to us and sitting down.

"So, how about you fill me in on what's going on?"

"Katsura-sama, forgive us for not telling you sooner."

"Are you telling me that you two girls are the shadow assassins known as _Chi no Bara_?"

"Hai."

"Unbelievable. To think a couple of women have been ordering us around."

I hung my head, but Katsura's laugh made me glance up at him.

"Not that I'm complaining! I think any man would be just too happy to obey such cute looking girls."

I laughed along with him before turning the topic to more serious matters.

"Well now that you know about us, I can just as well tell you what we will be doing tomorrow night. My sister Jasmine used to be a Geiko two years ago, back when we lived on the opposite side of Kyoto. She used her skills to get into a nearby Geisha school, the same place you went to when you hired the geishas for tomorrow night. Jasmine will be amongst the group of girls who will be going to the temple, and I will join them just before they get there."

"I see now. So you two will be going in as geishas. No one will suspect the women."

"Exactly."

"But what about weapons? The Shinsengumi will be there to check, so how will you fight?"

"Don't you worry about that, Katsura-sama. It's all been taken care of."

"Another one of your secrets. Well as a woman, I guess you are entitled to them."

We discussed the plan for a few more minutes, going over some last-minute details before the subject of our prisoner came up.

"What are we going to do with him?" I asked.

Katsura rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Perhaps we should keep him here until after the battle is over. We can't risk him going off telling the Shogun anything."

"I agree. What do you think, Jasmine? Jasmine?"

I looked around, but realized my sister was no longer seated beside me. In fact, she wasn't seated anywhere.

"Where did she go?"

No one had an answer, which I didn't like. A bad feeling rose up in my throat like bile.

_Jasmine, where are you?_

Jasmine stood over Enishi, staring at him with a calm face. Even though she had figured out he was an enemy quite early on when she had discovered his dagger lying underneath the table, it still hurt.

She had so hoped that maybe he'd change his mind.

She couldn't deny the fact that she'd felt something when he kissed her. Even his gentle words stirred up butterflies in her stomach, though she knew they were all lies.

"You used me."

"And _**you **_used _**me**_, so we're even now."

"But why?"

"Because that man – that manslayer that you're protecting – killed my sister!"

"Your sister? You mean Tomoe?"

"You know about her?"

"I heard the story."

"And you still insist on protecting the Battousai? What did he tell you? That he loved her?" he asked, his words dripping with sarcasm.

Jasmine knelt down in front of him.

"No, I protect him for my sister's sake."

"What?"

"My sister has fallen in love with him."

"How stupid."

She smiled and leaned forward, tugging on the knot in his bonds.

"I'll admit I'm a bit jealous, but he makes her happy, so who am I to complain?"

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"What does it look like? I'm freeing you."

"You are? But – "

She stopped working and pulled back to look in his eyes.

"I ask only that you don't go back to the Shogun to tell them about us."

"And why shouldn't I?"

"Because if you do that and something happens to my sister, then you'll be just like Kenshin."

She hated comparing him to Kenshin, especially since she knew Kenshin hadn't purposely killed Tomoe, but she had to say it, to make him understand. Her words worked; she saw the realization hit deep.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his for a brief moment.

"You know what it's like to have someone take an important person away from you, Enishi. Don't do the same to me."

The ropes loosened and fell to the ground. Enishi rubbed his wrists, all the while staring into her eyes. From the start he'd intended to use her, but during their time together – even though it had all been an act – he'd come to like her.

"I understand."

The bright smile that suddenly flashed across her face made him blush a little, and that blush only deepened when she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a small hug.

"Thank you!"

When she pulled back, he rose to his feet and hurried over to the balcony, glancing back at her briefly. She nodded, still smiling and watched as he jumped into the nearby tree, sliding out of sight.

Jasmine sat in silence for a moment before she too rose to her feet and made her way to the door. Just as she was reaching for the handle, the door slid open and she found herself staring into her sister's worried face.

"Jasmine, what – " but her sister's sentence was cut short when she glanced behind her and saw Enishi was gone.

"Jasmine what have you done?"

"It's alright Jade."

"Alright? But – "

Jasmine placed her hands firmly on her sister's shoulders and gazed into her eyes.

"Don't worry. It's fine."

She saw her sister calm down and pulled her into a gentle hug. Kenshin was standing behind Jade, staring dejectedly at the ground. She couldn't help but frown. Jasmine felt her sister shiver slightly and realized she was worried. She probably didn't understand why Kenshin was so quiet and distant, but Jasmine knew.

She had seen that same look in his eyes two years ago.

On that day that he said goodbye for good.

Jasmine lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. It was late already, but she couldn't seem to fall asleep.

So many things had happened in the past week; her mind was still trying to sort through the whirl of thoughts.

She had noticed the change between Kenshin and Jade. At first she'd thought it was simply because they hadn't seen each other in such a long time, and when he hugged her, she had felt sure things would go back to normal.

But now he seemed even more distant than before. It was almost as if he felt too guilty to even look at or touch her.

"Jasmine, are you asleep?" her sister's voice whispered to her.

"No."

Jasmine turned in her bed until she was facing Jade and waited until she had done the same.

"Do you think Kenshin is mad at me?" she asked, her voice sounding troubled.

"No. Why would he be?"

"I don't know. He just seems different."

"Shouldn't you be talking to him about it instead of me?"

"I wanted to hear your opinion."

Jasmine went still for a moment and she could tell Jade was waiting anxiously for her to say something.

"Go to him tonight," she finally whispered.

"What?"

But she didn't reply to her question. Jade continued.

"Are you suggesting I do what I think you're suggesting?"

"Well why not?"

"Jasmine!"

The younger girl sat upright, still looking at her sister.

"You love him right? Think about what's happening tomorrow. We're going into battle. Its likely we could all be dead by midnight tomorrow."

"But – "

"Don't deny you haven't thought about it. I know you well enough by now, Jade. I can understand you're afraid because of what you went through with Hideki, but I promise you it will be different this time. Kenshin is _**not **_Hideki. He won't force you to do anything. Kenshin is too good a person, which in my opinion is something of a hindrance."

"What do you mean?"

"Kenshin is always thinking about others, which means he's always neglecting his own happiness. You want my opinion? The reason Kenshin has been so withdrawn is because he's feeling guilty. Enishi's appearance brought back bad memories of Tomoe, and he blames himself for getting us involved. He doesn't realize that sometimes his happiness can mean someone else's happiness. That's why you need to be the one to make the first move. Go to him, show him you're serious."

_And stop him from leaving_, she thought, though she wouldn't dare speak it out loud. Her sister was too infatuated with the man to notice the signs, and she didn't want to think about what the consequences would be if he were to leave again. It was a miracle that Jade had allowed herself to have feelings for a man, but if he betrayed her it would be far worse than any previous betrayals. That was why she had suggested her sister spend the night with Kenshin.

Perhaps then he would realize Jade loved him unconditionally.

"Ok. I'll go."

Jasmine watched her sister rise to feet, managing to catch a brief glance of her face before she turned away. It was apparent by the look on her face that Jade was nervous.

Jasmine didn't blame her. It had been just over two years since she'd last been intimate with a man, and even then it must have been unpleasant for her.

Jade walked over to the door but stopped, suddenly turning back.

"I can't do it. What if he sends me away?"

"For heaven's sake Jade! You're a woman. Charm him."

"Well I'm sorry, but I've never had an opportunity to "charm" a man," she countered, her hands coming up to her hips. Jasmine couldn't help but giggle a little at her sister's complete lack of knowledge, which only served to infuriate Jade more.

"I'm not doing this!" she hissed, hurrying back over to the bed.

"Wait, I'm sorry for laughing. I know it's not your fault. Let me help you."

"How? Are you going to go and seduce Kenshin on my behalf? Perhaps you should, he probably wouldn't know the difference."

"Of course he would! We'll practice. I'll pretend to be Kenshin. Now, pretend you just walked into my room, ok?"

An uncertain look crossed her face, but she nodded.

Jasmine lay back down and closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep.

For a while, Jade was silent, but after a moment she leaned forward and touched her sister's shoulder.

"Jas-, I mean, Kenshin."

Jasmine opened her eyes, rubbing them sleepily and sitting upright to face her sister.

"What is it, Jade-chan?" she asked, making her voice deep.

"He doesn't call me Jade-chan."

"Fine fine, Jade."

"Uh. . .I. . . well the thing is. . . .you. . . "

Even in the faint light, Jasmine could see her sister's face turn bright red.

"I can't do this!"

"Yes you can! Ok, fine. You be Kenshin and I'll be you."

Jasmine cleared her throat before narrowing her eyes slightly in a seductive manner and leaning forward a little so that you had a nice view of her chest.

"Oh Kenshin, forgive me for disturbing you, but I'm feeling uneasy about everything. What if someone else tries to break in and kill us?"

At this point, Jasmine opted for a fearful look. She played the damsel in distress part well.

But Jade didn't seem to agree with her methods.

"That's stupid. Why would I go running to Kenshin when he knows perfectly well I can take care of anyone that would break in?"

"You are impossible, you know that? That's not the point."

"Then what is?"

"Men like being our heroes. You must make him feel special by saying things like, "Oh you're so strong", or "I feel safe in your arms"."

Jade folded her arms stubbornly, causing Jasmine to sigh.

"Ok I can see this isn't going to work. Look, just be sincere with him. Tell him the truth, that you want to spend the night at his side. Remind him of his feelings for you."

"I think I can do that."

"Of course you can. You made him fall in love with you the first time all by yourself."

Jasmine watched as her sister thought about this for a moment before she smiled a little and rose once more. This time she didn't stop at the door, walking on until Jasmine heard her steps become fainter.

Satisfied, Jasmine lay back down and went to sleep.

Kenshin was afraid to go to sleep. He knew that as soon as he did, he would dream, and dream was the last thing he wanted to do.

It was bad enough that he was constantly reminded of Tomoe, but to dream of what he had done as well – it was hell.

And now he had gone and gotten Jade and Jasmine involved in all this as well. Well technically he hadn't known what they were doing, but he should have guessed earlier on that it was Jade with him all along and put a stop to their involvement.

Then again, that girl was very strong-willed, so he probably couldn't have stopped her anyway. Still, he would do everything in his power to make sure they are safe, and once it was all over, he'd send them back.

He had gotten his wish to see Jade once more; he'd even gotten his wish to hold her, but it was over now. He had thought that maybe once the Revolution had ended he could go back to Jade, but Enishi's appearance had convinced him otherwise.

He would never truly escape. There would always be a bitter enemy after his life. He couldn't put Jade through that. Ever.

He heard his door slide open a little and instinctively reached for his sword. He waited in tense silence, hearing the door close again and light footsteps approach. Using his thumb, he pushed on the hilt of his sword, lifting it a little so that he could easily draw it.

"Kenshin?"

He relaxed at the sound of her voice and lowered his weapon.

"What's wrong Jade? Did something happen?"

"No everything's fine, I just. . . "

He waited for her to continue, but when she didn't, he glanced up at her.

She stood near the window, bathed in the beams of pale moonlight that filtered in through a few of the panes.

Kenshin felt his breath catch in his throat. Memories of the night he had watched her bathe herself with water from the well flashed through his mind, and he felt a sudden longing to gaze upon her ivory skin.

He mentally slapped himself, forcing his mind to think about something else. It worked for a few seconds, until she knelt in front of him, her captivating eyes staring at him with an intensity he'd never seen before.

Before he could think better of it, he raised his hand to touch her face. She closed her eyes and whispered his name, the husky tone of her voice hinting at her similar longing to be touched.

He knew he needed to put a stop to this. She had come here to tell him something. That was all.

"Why did you come to me?"

Her eyes snapped open and he saw a light blush creep into her cheeks. She turned her face away, staring at the ground.

"I. . .I wanted to ask you. . . "

"Yes?"

He noticed she was wringing her hands nervously in her lap. He wanted to assure her that he would listen to her request.

"Jade, what is it? You know you can ask me anything."

This seemed to giver her some confidence, and she turned her face back to him.

"Kenshin, I want to be with you tonight."

His eyes widened in surprise, but she didn't back down, keeping her eyes locked with his.

Was she serious?

Despite the look of resolve on her face, he noticed her eyes become watery. She grabbed hold of his hands and squeezed them gently.

"Please, don't leave me alone."

He wanted to point out that Jasmine was with her, but realized that wasn't what she wanted. She was asking for more from him.

He felt his desire for her increase. Why couldn't he be with her this one time? No, he didn't want to make things worse. He was already so attached to her.

While his mind swam with conflicting thoughts, he failed to notice her leaning towards him.

The gentle touch of her lips against his snapped him back to reality. All thoughts vanished from his mind – except for one.

_So this is what it feels like?_

He gave in to his needs and cupped the back of her neck, tilting her face upwards so that he had better access to her mouth. He gently ran his tongue across her lower lip, begging for more. She responded by shyly parting her lips and granting him access to the delights of her mouth.

He had often wondered what she would taste like, but now he had his answer. Sugar and cinnamon.

He heard a soft moan escape her throat as he continued to probe the sweet, dark corners of her mouth and felt a pleasant warmth spread out across his skin. He had dreamt of this moment for years, and now that it was here, he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the intensity of his feelings. They had shared some intimate moments in the past, but the passion of this single kiss far surpassed anything he'd ever experienced with her before.

It left him hungry for more.

He broke away from her mouth, moving his lips down to her neck and leaving a trail of kisses all the way up to her ear.

She whispered incoherent words in his ear, but even though he couldn't hear what she was saying, the feel of her warm breath against his skin was enough to drive him wild.

She pressed her hands against his chest, slipping her fingers inside his shirt and gently tracing them across his skin. Her hands gradually made their way down his body, stopping at his waist and leaving him disappointed.

It was unfair that she got to touch his bare skin while he was still obstructed by her clothing.

He went back to kissing her mouth, bringing his hands up to rest on her shoulders. Slowly he moved his hands down her arms, pushing off the sleeves of her clothes in the same movement.

He could feel her shiver slightly, whether from excitement or nervousness, he didn't know, but she made no protest to his advances.

He broke away from her lips, pressing his forehead to hers and looking into her eyes.

"If you want to stop, just say so."

He saw her eyes widen a little in surprise and realized Hideki must have never asked her what she wanted. He felt a bit guilty for doing this, but her bright smile assured him.

"No, I'm fine," she insisted, and he could tell she meant it. He returned her smile and resumed kissing her, all the while bringing his hands up to touch every exposed area of skin he could find.

He pushed all doubts to the back of his mind and focused solely on her.

At that moment, the entire world fell away and there was nothing else that mattered except for her.


	13. Chapter 13

**13**

_**And I'll be so alone without you,**_

_**Maybe you'll be lonesome too,**_

_**But just remember when a dream appears,**_

_**You belong to me**_

_YOU BELONG TO ME – JASON WADE_

"Onee-chan."

I was roused from my deep slumber by the soft voice that came from above me, but refused to open my eyes, hoping that if I ignored the voice it would go away.

"Onee-chan!" came the voice again, this time more insistent and accompanied by a few pokes on my cheek.

I groaned and pulled the covers up over my face.

"Really. It's nearly noon. He must be good to wear you out this much."

_What is she talking about? _

That's when memories of the previous night came rolling back and I threw back the covers, sitting upright and looking around.

Sure enough I was in Kenshin's room, but he was no where in sight.

"He left quite early with Katsura-sama," Jasmine answered before I could even ask.

"Where did they go?"

"You should rather worry about putting on some clothes and grabbing some lunch – or in your case breakfast. We have to start getting ready."

I blushed and pulled the sheets closer, looking around for my robe. Jasmine held it out to me, a mischievous grin plastered on her face. Scowling at her, I grabbed my clothing from her outstretched hand and quickly slipped it on.

While I dressed, Jasmine raked her fingers through my tangled hair a few times, smoothing it out until I looked respectable enough.

"Come on," she said once she was done, leading me downstairs to the dining room. Most of the inn's patrons were out, but a few of them were already eating and paid us no heed when we entered.

Jasmine and I sat down and were served a modest meal.

I realized then how hungry I was and had to stop myself from wolfing everything down in one shot. Jasmine ate slowly, still smiling secretly. I saw her glance my way a few times, but chose to ignore her for now. I wasn't going to divulge any of last night's events with her in a public place.

Once we had finished our meal, Jasmine rose.

"I requested that a bath be prepared for us. It should be ready by now."

I couldn't understand why she wanted to start preparing so early on in the day, but she recognized the look on my face and frowned.

"Do you know how long it will take to get us both dressed and ready? There are no servant girls to help out, and since you have no idea what you're doing, I'll have to do everything myself."

She was right. I had no idea how to dress as a geisha, so it was probably wise that we start early on.

We entered the bathhouse and stripped of our clothes. Jasmine made me get in first. I did as she asked and watched as she lifted a small bucket, filled it with water and proceeded to pour it out over my hair.

I sat in silence while she washed my hair, waiting for her to ask the questions I knew she was dying to know the answers to. When she said nothing, I realized she was waiting for me to be the first to speak.

"So. . . last night went well, but I guess you already knew that," I said, trying not to blush.

"And? Was it anything like when you were with Hideki?"

"Not at all. It was a completely different experience. He was so gentle and loving, making sure I was alright. . ." I paused and sighed dreamily. "I found myself wishing the night would never end."

Jasmine snickered, throwing a whole bucket of water out over my head.

"What was that for?"

"You're starting to sound like me, and we can't have two Jasmines now can we. We have serious business to attend to, and we can't fight as a team if you're not focused."

"Hai hai," I answered, slightly perturbed by the fact that my younger sister was giving _**me **_a lecture.

I rose and switched places with Jasmine, and before long the two of us were clean from head to toe. I dried myself off before wrapping my long hair in a towel and pulling on a clean robe. Jasmine did the same and together we walked off to our room. When I walked through the door, I noticed the several different packages lying on the ground and realized Jasmine must have arranged to have everything we needed brought over.

Just how long had I actually slept?

Jasmine set to work, kneeling on the ground and proceeding to open the parcels. While she sorted things out, I used the towel on my head to rub my hair dry. Kenshin was no doubt helping Katsura get the men ready. I wondered if everything would work out. It was quite risky since the Shinsengumi were a strong force. Jasmine and I had fought some of their members before and won, but they had been small fry compared to the actual leaders of each squad, not to mention the three commanders in charge of the entire Shinsengumi. I knew Kenshin had faced off against some of them before, but their battles almost always ended in a draw.

Our best chance of winning this was to take out the actual Shogun leaders first. Once they fell, the Shinsengumi lost their purpose, though I doubted they would care about something as simple as that. The Mibu Wolves were not going to back down from a fight just because they lost their employers, but at least then the throne would be open for Emperor Meiji to return.

"Nee-chan, are you listening to me?"

"What?"

"I said come here and try this kimono on."

"Oh, I'm coming."

As long as we all made it out alive, things would be alright.

For once in my life, I'd be happy.

I stood next to the side of the road, pacing up and down while I waited. Jasmine and the other girls would be passing by here soon. I would fall in with them, hopefully unnoticed, and continue on to the temple. I couldn't join them at the geisha school since I wasn't a properly trained geisha and the woman who ran the place would never allow a novice like me to join the other more experienced girls.

I still didn't understand how they could wear all this make-up. The stuff was starting to make me itch, but I knew I had to resist the urge to scratch.

Sighing, I put the small box I was carrying on the ground next to me before stretching my arms above my head.

Kenshin hadn't come back to the inn, or if he had, then I hadn't seen him. I knew it was unreasonable for me to expect him to stay with me until the meeting started, but I couldn't help feeling nervous. The mere thought that he was being handed over to the Shogun, even if it was just a ruse, made me shudder uncomfortably.

Mentally I scolded myself. I was stronger than this, as was Kenshin. I just needed to have faith.

I heard the cheerful chattering of the group of girls as they approached and quickly hid myself behind a tree. I watched as they passed by, their hair all done up with fancy clips and their faces covered with white make-up. They seemed so at ease with their attire, unlike me.

Jasmine was walking at the back, and quickly and quietly I joined the group, falling into step beside her. She gave me a small smile before joining in with the other girls' conversation. None of them seemed to notice my extra presence which was good for me.

As we approached the temple, they began to quieten down until we stopped at the entrance. Two shinsengumi guards stopped us, allowing us to pass one by one so they could check us. I came up last, clutching the box tightly to my chest. The guards stopped me, demanding to see what was in my box. I obeyed their order, opening the lid for them to see inside.

"What's all this?" one asked while holding up a small white pot.

"Make-up. It's been a long walk and some of us might need to freshen up before we go in," I explained.

"Fine, go inside."

I bowed and hurried in after the other girls. As we walked, I took careful note of the positions of the guards.

As I had suspected, there were more men guarding the meeting room than anywhere else.

We arrived at the room where we were to wait until summoned. It was close to the meeting room, so I hadn't had much opportunity to see where the rest of the guards were situated, but that didn't matter now. There was some time till the meeting was scheduled to start and until then I could listen to their movements.

I sat close to the door while Jasmine joined the other girls, keeping the conversation flowing so that no one would notice me. I sat with my eyes closed, listening carefully.

_One. . .two. . . _

Two guards were heading in our direction, but they passed by our door without stopping. So there were men patrolling as well. It was probably the same for the guards outside, which meant they wouldn't be stationary.

Jasmine and I would have to be very careful when making our move.

If my hunch was correct, the leaders of the shinsengumi would be close to the Shogun officials. They were the biggest threat, and they would be on guard when Kenshin was around.

Time slipped by and the sun sank lower in the sky. I heard someone shout that the Shogun officials were arriving. That meant the Imperialist officials would be arriving soon as well.

My heart began to race. Glancing over at Jasmine, I saw her nod. She approached me, and in a loud voice said, "Oh no! Your make-up is smudged! Wait, I'll help you."

Grabbing the make-up box, she beckoned to me and opened the door. Before the guard at our door could even say anything, Jasmine asked where the washroom was so she could fix my make-up quickly. The man pointed down the hall and watched as we brushed past him. We entered the washroom and set to work.

I grabbed hold of the box and carelessly threw its contents onto the ground before feeling around inside for the hidden handle. When I found it, I pulled on it, removing the false bottom to reveal two small hidden daggers.

They weren't impressive weapons, but they would have to do until we could get something better.

"Ready?" I asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Jasmine replied.

"Let's go!"

The two guards fell before they even knew what hit them and Jasmine and I quickly dragged the bodies into some nearby bushes. Sheathing the small dagger, I slipped it into the back of my _obi _and reached for the guard's sword. Drawing the blade, I checked to see what condition it was in and, satisfied with the results, strapped the weapon to my side. Jasmine was about to rise, but she stopped when she saw me removing my _geta _sandals.

"What are you doing?"

"I won't be able to move in these things," I replied, bending over and lifting the skirt of my kimono until it was well above my knees and tying it securely in place. Jasmine's mouth opened in protest, but I quickly cut her off.

"Don't argue with me now! You need to be with the other girls."

"Will you be alright by yourself?"

"Of course. Hurry, they should be calling for the girls at any moment."

Jasmine nodded and hurried back inside the temple while I took off running, my bare feet making no sound as I raced around the temple.

I spotted three more guards up ahead and placed my hand on the hilt of my sword. They didn't hear me coming until I was almost on top of them. I drew my sword and the first man fell. This gave the other two a chance to draw their swords, and they both came at me with their weapons raised. I ducked and rolled over, snatching up the dead guard's sword before landing on my feet again. I met the remaining two guards' onslaught, blocking both their attacks and quickly crossing my swords so that the momentum of their thrusts worked against them, causing them to stumble forward and giving me an opportunity to quickly cut upwards, catching them both in their chests.

However, my _nitou-ryuu _technique was not something I used often, and my left arm's thrust was not as strong as my right arm's which meant while the guard on the right collapsed to his death, the one of the left remained standing, suffering only from a bloody stab wound that hadn't gone deep enough to kill.

Before I could remove the sword, he slashed at me. I quickly released the sword in my left hand and pulled back, but not quickly enough to dodge his attack. His blade sliced across my forearm, leaving behind a bloody gash. I knew I couldn't hesitate now. The man was injured, yes, but if I didn't finish this I would run the risk of being more severely injured.

Smoothly I spun in a wide-arc, swinging my blade around and colliding into the back of the man's neck with considerable force, enough to decapitate him. Blood from his neck squirted onto my face, but it didn't bother me.

Gone was the Jade from a few hours earlier – the quiet girl who still got butterflies in her stomach whenever her lover was around – and in its place was a strong, fierce demon who had given up her humanity a long time ago.

I turned slightly and spotted the temple bell a short distance away – the signal. At the same time I spotted two other guards standing nearby. Smirking, I licked my lips and sprinted off in the direction of my prey.

Jasmine was just pouring some sake into one of the Shogun officials' cup when she heard the temple bell ring. The moment the sound reached her ears, she reached back for her dagger and swiftly cut the official's neck. One of the girls screamed and confusion settled in.

"You bitch! What have you done?!"

One of the guards came at her with his sword drawn, but Kenshin stepped between them, blocking his attack and cutting the man down. By this time Katsura and the other Imperialist had drawn their swords and were beating back the approaching guards.

"Ah Battousai, and here I was thinking I wouldn't get to fight you one last time," Hajime Saito said as he faced Kenshin. Kenshin said nothing in reply, though Jasmine could tell by the dangerous look on his face that he was secretly looking forward to the challenge.

Drawing her eyes away from the fighting samurai, she called to the girls. It was her job to make sure they made it out safely. She grabbed a sword lying on the ground that had belonged to one of the dead guards and used it to clear a path to the door.

"Hurry!" she ordered and the girls obeyed, running out. Jasmine waited until they were all out before once again assuming the lead, cutting down any enemy that stood in their path. There was a huge commotion outside as the hundreds of Imperialists that had been waiting in secret rushed into battle. She knew her sister was out there somewhere, but couldn't see her amongst the crowd of fighting men. She found the path behind the temple that led into the surrounding woods and told the girl behind her to take the lead. She explained that if they followed the path it would loop around and take them back to Kyoto. Nodding, the girls hurried on.

Jasmine watched until they were safely away before running back to see if she could find Jade.

She spotted her elder sister plowing a path through the Shinsengumi guards, intent on getting to the temple. Her face was splattered with the blood of her victims, but some of her own blood was dripping down her left arm. Jasmine ran towards her, knowing that her sister would need her. The two of them had perfected a unique set of techniques. Their style was taken from the famously rare _**nitou-ryuu **_or dual-sword technique where the user fights with two swords instead of the conventional one sword. However, the difference in their style was that instead of one person using two swords, there were two people, each with their own sword, performing the same techniques.

This required absolutely perfect symmetry between the two people, which as twins, they possessed. Their training had focused on learning to think and move alike, which they had gradually perfected as well.

The only downside to this style was that if one person were to suddenly be unable to fight, the other would be left vulnerable. That was why in addition to their dual style, they had each learned the basics of nitou-ryuu as well as single sword fighting.

When it came to fighting with one sword, Jade was clearly the stronger of the two, however when they fought together, the two became equal in strength.

Jasmine joined her sister and the two of them quickly took care of the group of samurai that had surrounded them. Once their path was clear, they rushed into the temple. As they were approaching the meeting room, they spotted the four remaining Shogun officials scrambling out the room to escape the fighting. Jasmine glanced at her sister from out of the corner of her eye and saw her nod. Together they moved over to the men.

One of them saw the girls approach and would have simply looked away again had it not been for their bloody clothing and the swords clutched in their hands.

"Spare us!" he begged, groveling at their feet. Jasmine saw her sister's face screw up in disgust.

"Pathetic!" she spat, bringing her blade down and killing him with one swift strike. Jasmine flinched slightly. This was a side of Jade she didn't see often, a side she didn't wish to see often. She knew it was because of what her sister had gone through. All those years of bottling up her hate, and now she finally had a way to release it. It always startled Jasmine when she saw how dark her sister could be.

But she didn't have time to stand around pondering over her sister's double-sided personality. Jade was already heading towards the remaining three men who were huddled in a corner, sniveling like a group of frightened children.

"No more will you ruin the lives of Japan's people," Jade said, her voice level and calm despite the fire that burned hotly in her eyes. Jasmine joined her in putting the men out of their misery. She turned to her sister, but before she was able to say anything, Jade stopped her.

"Do you smell something burning?"

Jasmine sniffed at the air and nodded. Jade ran over to the door separating them from the meeting room and yanked it open.

The fighting was still going on inside, but the men seemed unaware of the small fire that had started due to one of the oil lamps being knocked over. Right before their eyes, the fire grew. The smoke grew thick, making it harder to breathe.

By now the others had realized the danger they were in, and forgetting about their battles they rushed out the room.

All except for Kenshin and Saito.

"Ken-" but before Jade could finish calling his name, she was knocked over by one of the fleeing men. Jasmine quickly grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her towards the exit.

"Come on!"

"What about Kenshin?"

"He'll be fine. Let's just get out of here now!" Jasmine urged, keeping a firm grip on her sister's arm to prevent her from going back. Jade reluctantly relented and they rushed outside.

The world outside was a mess of bloody bodies and even the few who were still left stopped their fighting when they saw the commotion.

The remaining Mibu Wolves, realizing their employers were dead and they were now vastly outnumbered, decided to retreat, running away from the scene with all their remaining strength. Some of the Imperialists gave chase, but they soon gave that up when they realized it was pointless.

It was all over.

They had won this battle, and with no on left in power on the Shogun side, their group would crumble.

The blaze was now visible from the outside. A thick column of black smoke rose above the temple.

But there was still no sign of either Kenshin or Saito.

"Gather everyone together. We're going to leave," Katsura ordered.

"What about Kenshin?" Jade demanded.

"Believe in him, Jade-san. We'll wait for him to return to the Inn."

The group of Imperialists started to leave, and after a moment Jasmine convinced her sister they should go too.

As they left the scene, Jasmine glanced back at the burning temple.

_Kenshin, you'd better not leave her again._

**On that day, in they year 1868, the Tokugawa era ended, and the man known as the legendary Battousai the Manslayer mysteriously disappeared.**


	14. Chapter 14

_14_

_**All of this hate**_

_**And all of this pain**_

_**I'll burn it all down**_

_**As my anger reigns**_

_**Till everything burns**_

_EVERYTHING BURNS – ANASTACIA FT. BEN MOODY_

_**Tokyo, 1878**_

I drained the last of the sake and placed my cup down next to me before leaning back with a satisfied sigh and closing my eyes.

"It sure is hot today, ne Nee-chan?" Jasmine asked.

"Uh huh."

She was right. It was one of the hottest days we'd had this season, and you could see the heat waves hovering above the ground. Despite the rise in temperature, there were still people milling around in the streets, going about their business in their usual fashion.

I couldn't help but feel glad that we had arrived in Tokyo the previous day, as I didn't much like the idea of traveling in this oppressive heat.

Jasmine and I had no home; or rather the whole of Japan had become our home. With the ending of the Revolution, I had become too restless to stay in Kyoto, and so I decided I would travel. Jasmine of course came with me, and so together we traversed the country, spending the past 10 years doing whatever we felt like doing.

We had been in Tokyo before, but the place had increased in size since our last visit here.

"Excuse me, but would you two ladies allow me to buy you a drink?"

I opened one of my eyes to look at the man making the offer. He had a hopeful look on his face as he waited for an answer. Jasmine seemed to be waiting for me to decide.

"Iie."

"What?"

"Are you deaf, you insolent fool? I said no."

Jasmine bowed her head as the man quickly walked away.

"Was it necessary to be so harsh?"

"Don't start this again."

"But you're not being fair! I know you're angry, but not every man is Kenshin!"

"I'm not having this argument again. End of story."

Jasmine looked like she had so much more she wanted to say, but wisely she held her tongue. Her silence didn't last long however, for as soon as I had ordered another cup of sake, she resumed her attack.

"What if he's here?"

She asked this question whenever we came to a new town. I found it to be very unlikely. 10 years of being constantly on the move and we'd never run into Kenshin. For all we knew, he was probably already dead.

"If he is, then he is. If he isn't, then he isn't. It makes no difference to me either way."

"When will you stop lying to yourself?"

A woman arrived, carrying a small bottle of sake which she used to refill my cup. I lifted the cup to my lips, but paused before taking a sip.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

I could see this angered her as she turned her body towards me.

"You still think about him."

"You're right. I wonder why I ever cared for that jerk in the first place. I should never have taken him in on that night he collapsed in front of our house. I should have left him out there to bleed to death."

"You don't mean that."

Shrugging, I downed the sake in one gulp, feeling it burn its way down my throat. It was a good feeling, like my insides were being cleansed, like the bad memories were just being washed away.

"Alright, let's get going."

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know about you but I'm hungry, and we still need to find some kind of temporary job, or maybe I should try my hand at gambling again. I got pretty lucky last time."

Jasmine scratched out some money and handed it to the woman who had served us before following me. She didn't say much, but I knew she always got this silent when I deliberately avoided the subject she had brought up.

Though I never said it out loud, I was terrified that she would one day decide she had had enough of my stubbornness and go her own way. Jasmine was all I had left in this world. She was the only thing I'd ever had in the first place.

"Jasmine, let's not fight ok?"

"Ok," she agreed, trying hard not to smile. This was how it always went. We would argue, I would change the subject, she would be mad at me until I apologized, and then things would be fine again.

"Jade-san, is it that really you?"

I paused and glanced back at the caller. My face split into a grin when I recognized the man.

"Well well, if it isn't Kaita-san."

"What brings you to Tokyo?"

"I'm here to take your hard earned money of course."

The man laughed and placed a friendly hand on my shoulder.

"You never change. I don't think you'll be so lucky this time."

"Well we won't know unless we play."

"I was actually just on my way to play with some of the others. Why don't you join us?"

"Only if there's enough sake."

Kaita laughed again and continued walking, leading us through the back-alleys to where they frequently met to gamble. I had met Kaita during our previous visit to Tokyo where he had introduced me to the world of gambling. I had been surprisingly lucky and ended up walking away with everything they had. Not that that was much to begin with since they only ever used small change when gambling.

Kaita and his friends were some of the few men I could tolerate since they saw me as one of them. They acknowledged the fact that I was not like other women and respected me for my strength.

Kaita stopped outside the small shack and opened the door, allowing us to enter first. There were a few faces I didn't recognize, but Kaita quickly made introductions and offered us seats. I sat in their circle while Jasmine took a seat behind me. She preferred not to get involved which was fine by me.

After drinks were passed around, the games began. I watched the first few rounds before getting involved myself. I lost the first game, but quickly made up for it by winning the next three rounds. Just as I was getting into the swing of things, the door opened and in walked a tall, dark-haired man wearing white clothing and a red headband. He glanced around at the crowd of faces, his gaze lingering on Jasmine and I.

"Sano, you're late as usual."

"What's going on here? I didn't realize we would be having extra company," he asked, his eyes narrowing when he glimpsed the sword at my side.

"Ah, this is one of my old friends Jade and her sister Jasmine. They're just visiting for a short while so I thought I'd bring them over. Ladies, this is one of our other friends, Sagara Sanosuke," Kaita explained. I took a slow sip of my sake, waiting for the man to say something. I could tell by the look in his eyes he didn't much like the idea of having us around.

"Kaita you should know better. This is a dangerous part of town for two young women."

"Oh you don't have to worry about them. These two are –"

"Big girls who can make their own decisions," I interrupted, not wanting Kaita to reveal that we were manslayers. I wasn't yet sure if I liked the look of this guy. He didn't seem to have anything to say, so I decided to push him a bit further.

"How about a game of dice, Sagara-kun? Or are you too afraid to be beaten by a girl?"

I could see him grinding his teeth together in annoyance and secretly relished in the sense of satisfaction that came from knowing I was the cause. Men were such idiots sometimes. They never believed us women could do anything other than cook, clean, and give birth to children.

"Fine, I'll play," he replied, moving to sit down across from me. Kaita took up a position to our right, holding the dice and cup in hand.

"What are the stakes?" he asked.

"I'll bet half my winnings so far."

Sanosuke scratched through his pockets and tossed some small change onto the pile before folding his arms across his chest.

"Ok, the rules are whoever guesses right wins. You cannot guess the same thing, got it?"

I downed the sake in my cup and slammed it down, my eyes locked with Sano's.

"Let's do this."

Kaita raised the dice, giving them a small shake before releasing them onto the small bamboo mat. They jumped around a few times before Kaita quickly covered them with the cup.

"Alright, take a guess."

"Odds!" Sano and I called in unison. The moment the words left our mouths, we were glaring at each other.

"I called odds first!" I argued.

"No, I did!" Sano countered.

"You're just copying me because you know you're going to lose."

"You're the one who's copying _**me**_!"

"What happened to "ladies first"?"

"Oh so now you want to act like a lady?"

We leaned towards each other, our faces inches apart and invisible bolts of lighting shooting out from our angry eyes.

"Kisama. You have a problem with the way I act?"

"What if I do?"

"Nee-chan, please calm down," Jasmine intervened, trying to stop us from fighting.

I ignored her, reaching for my sword.

"Let's take this outside."

"Fine, let's."

The two of us rose and made our way outside into the narrow street. The rest of the men and Jasmine crowded around the doorway, trying to get a good view of what was going to happen. Jasmine looked panicked, and she tried several times to talk sense into my head, but I was long past listening to reason. This guy just pissed me off, and I fully planned on setting him straight.

"You realize I carry a sword, right?" I called to him when I realized he had no weapons on him.

"I've fought a swordsman who's a lot stronger than you with my fists and lived to talk about it."

"Baka, he must have been going easy on you then."

"You know, I've had just about enough of your attitude. Women like you should just stay at home with their children and leave getting into fights to the men."

"That's the problem with you men. Always underestimating us. Do you think that just because you're a man you can order me around as you like?"

"What I'm saying is that you should listen to your sister and stop this before you get yourself hurt. I'm not the type of guy who fights with women."

"Oh how very noble of you." I paused long enough to draw my sword before raising my eyes back to his.

"If you don't take me seriously, then you're the one who's going to get hurt."

I could see he was thoroughly wound up, and in a split second he was rushing at me, his fist raised and ready to strike. I blinked, and it was no longer some arrogant punk running towards me, but Hideki. My blood turned to ice and I froze. Jasmine noticed the look on my face and quickly jumped in front of me, holding her arms out to the side as if to shield me.

"STOP!" she shouted.

There was a flash of movement and when I next saw, there was another man standing between Jasmine and Sano. He had stopped Sanosuke's punch with his own hand.

"Now now Sano, you know better than to raise your fist at a woman."

"Come on, you know I wasn't going to really do anything."

"I'm sorry about my friend, ladies. He just –"

The man stopped when he had turned to face us. I felt my stomach drop at his familiar face. Just when I thought I'd had my fill of intolerable men, he had to show up. Neither of us seemed to be able to say anything, so I decided to be the first to end this meeting.

Sheathing my sword, I turned my back on the men.

"Come on Jasmine."

"Jade wait!"

I stopped and turned halfway to look back at the red-haired swordsman – the man I loved; the man I hated.

"I. . ."

I waited for him to continue, but when he didn't, I closed my eyes and sighed.

"After all this time, that's all you have to say to me? You're even more pathetic than I thought, Battousai."

His eyes widened at my use of his nickname, but I turned and walked away before anything more could be said. Jasmine lingered a while longer, looking uncertainly at Kenshin before hurrying after me.

I hadn't believed I would see him again, and considering all the forgotten memories his appearance stirred up, it would have been better if I had been right.

"Onee-chan, are you alright?"

"Fine."

I wasn't fine at all. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. So many conflicting emotions were swirling around inside of me that I felt like throwing up.

"Jasmine, do you have the money we won?"

"Hai."

"Good, let's find a tavern. I need a drink. . .or two. . .or three."

"Nee-chan – "

"Please Jas, don't say anything, ok?"

She fell silent. I knew she was just trying to help, but the only thing that would help now was to get drunk.

Really, _really _drunk.


	15. Chapter 15

_**15**_

_**Anger is an acid that can do more harm**_

_**to the vessel in which it is stored**_

_**than anything onto which it is poured.**_

_MARK TWAIN_

"Uncle Kenny! Uncle Kenny! Catch the ball!"

Kenshin, who up till now had been deep in thought, quickly jumped forward to try and catch the ball. He failed miserably, managing only to trip over his own feet.

"You're no good at this, Uncle Kenny," Ayame said with a frown.

"Yeah Uncle Kenny, you're no good," Suzume agreed. Kenshin smiled and apologized to the young girls, giving them back their ball and suggesting they ask Yahiko to play with them. The two little girls ran off to find Yahiko, leaving Kenshin to his thoughts again.

_Jade. . ._

She looked so different. There was a coldness in her eyes that had never been there before. He had given her up, expecting her to quickly find someone else and settle down, but it seemed things hadn't gone that way. He couldn't stop replaying her words in his head, taking note of the bitterness in her voice. Had he really caused her to become this different person? What had happened to the sweet young girl he'd fallen in love with?

He wanted so badly to talk to her, but he doubted he'd see her again. He was almost 100% sure she'd try to avoid him.

Maybe if he could find and talk to Jasmine, she could convince her sister to give him a chance to explain. She deserved at least that.

"Hey Kenshin, are you ok?"

His head shot up at the sound of his name, and he saw Sanosuke approaching him with his hands in his pocket.

"Oh yes I'm fine, that I am."

"You look a bit troubled. Are you thinking about those girls from yesterday?"

Kenshin's smile faded, but he didn't say anything in reply.

"How do you know them anyway?"

"They were friends of mine many years ago. They both fought in the Revolution alongside me."

"Those two girls are manslayers like you?" Sano asked, surprise evident in his tone of voice. Kenshin nodded his reply, not much in the mood to divulge any more information. He didn't want to think about everything that had happened between them in the past.

"That Jade seemed a bit bitter about something."

"With good reason."

Sano frowned, but sensed that Kenshin wasn't willing to talk. He shrugged.

"Well anyway, I just came by to see if either you or the Missy had cooked anything for lunch. I was kind of hoping you had prepared something since everyone knows your cooking is 10 times better than Kaoru's."

"Miss Kaoru's cooking is getting better, that it is. You shouldn't complain, Sano. All of us are living here for free."

"I know. Where is she anyway?"

"Miss Kaoru is still out giving lessons, but she should be home soon."  
"Great, I'll wait then."

"You can keep Yahiko company while I take the girls back to their grandfather."

"Want me to come with?"

"No that's alright. We'll be fine."

"Ok well say hello to Dr. Gensai and Megumi for me."

Kenshin nodded and waved before calling the girls. They didn't seem pleased at the idea of going home, but after a few gentle words from Kenshin assuring they could come visit again tomorrow they quickly fell in step on either side of him, holding his hands.

While they walked, the girls told him about many things and he smiled, pretending to listen. He couldn't help but wonder if Jade and Jasmine still fought since both girls still carried swords. He himself still had a sword, but it was a specially crafted reversed-blade sword. He still did what he could to protect the innocent people of Japan while all the while keeping his promise to Tomoe that he would never use his sword to kill.

He had spent the majority of the past 10 years wandering from place to place, but recently he had decided to settle down in Tokyo for a while. He had made good friends here; Miss Kaoru, Yahiko, Dr. Gensai, Miss Megumi, Sanosuke, and of course Ayame and Suzume. They didn't care that he was the legendary manslayer from the Revolution. They all saw him as Himura Kenshin, a wanderer.

These past few months of living with Miss Kaoru and the others had been the closest thing to happiness he could get. For 10 long years, he had spent every day wishing things could have been different, wishing he could have stayed with Jade. He thought of her often, and every time he did, he missed her terribly. When he dreamt of their last night together, he woke craving the touch of her fingers on his skin, or her soft lips against his.

How many times had he contemplated going back to Kyoto to find her? He thought about her to the point where he felt he would go insane without her at his side. He tried reminding himself another man would suit her better, but only ended up feeling jealous. When he finally came to Tokyo and met Miss Kaoru and the others, he had been in desperate need for something to fill that empty space in his life. These new friends had helped dull the ache and made him forget, if only for a moment, that he was an incomplete man.

Now she was here, in this very city, and instead of the warm welcome he'd always dreamed of, she was turning her back on him. He couldn't blame her for being that way. He had, after all, abandoned her.

As the three of them approached the surgery, they heard a commotion inside. Peering in through the door, Kenshin curiously looked around for the source. He spotted Dr. Gensai calmly walking down the passage, seemingly oblivious to the noise coming from one of the rooms.

"Grandpa!" the two girls shouted, running up to the old man.

"Ah hello girls. It's good to have you home. Thank you for bringing them, Kenshin."

"It's no problem, Dr. What's going on in there?"

"Oh it's nothing serious. Megumi just has a difficult patient."

Before Kenshin could say anything, he heard a female voice start shouting.

"Out of the way! I'm leaving!"

"You can't walk, you've sprained your ankle," came Megumi's calm voice in reply. There was a loud thump, and Kenshin guessed the patient must have fallen over.

"See, I told you not to move."

"Stop shouting. My head hurts."

"Hey, what are you doing?"

The door opened and out stumbled the patient, leaning heavily against the wall. Kenshin's eyes widened when he recognized the woman.

"Onee-chan, you overdid it last night again. Why don't you just stay here for a bit and rest like the doctor suggested?" Jasmine asked, hurrying over to her sister. Jade burst into tears, sliding down into a crumpled heap on the ground.

"Because I want to get out of Tokyo!" she managed to say between sobs. Jasmine turned to Megumi, a distraught look on her face.

"Doctor I'm so sorry. She's not normally like this. She was just very upset. . ."

"That explains the hangover, though it looks like she hasn't fully recovered yet. She's still a bit confused. I can give her something that will help her sleep, but I'm afraid we can't force her to stay here. Do you have some place else you can go?"

Jasmine hesitated, glancing back at her sister who had gone quiet and was sitting with her knees pulled close to her chest and her head resting against the wall. Tears still ran down her cheeks, but she seemed to have more control over her emotions now. Before he knew it, Kenshin found his feet carrying him over to the group.

"Come with me."

Jasmine turned to look at him, her eyes widening.

"Kenshin, do you know these girls?" Megumi asked.

"I do," was all he said in reply. He turned back to Jasmine.

"I'm staying at a dojo. There's more than enough room for you two."

"But, I don't know what Jade will say."

They both turned to look at the woman in question. Her eyes were closed and her face had turned pale. She was swaying slightly from side to side, as though she were close to passing out.

"It will be for her benefit if she rests a while. She won't be able to go anywhere with that foot," he said, indicating to her bandaged ankle. Jasmine sighed and gave in.

"Alright."

Kenshin knelt down in front of Jade. She didn't react to his presence, and he wondered if she was still awake.

"Jade?"

"Please. . ." she whispered, her eyes still closed. He stroked some hair out of her face.

"What is it?"

"I want. . .to forget."

Kenshin longed to comfort her, but stopped himself before he could do anything. Megumi knelt down next to him and lifted Jade's eyelids, staring into first one eye, then the other.

"She's bordering on the edge of consciousness. At this point she's probably not even aware of what's happening."

This gave Kenshin courage to move, and he leaned towards her, sliding his arms around her body before standing up with her cradled against his chest. He was surprised by how light she was. Had she always felt this way?

Megumi gave Jasmine some medicine and ordered her to give it to Jade as soon as she woke up.

"It will help with the pain."

Jasmine thanked her before falling into step beside Kenshin.

"She's going to be upset when she wakes up. You know that, right?"

"I know."

"She's going to want to know why you left. You had best decide now what you're going to tell her."

"I'm going to tell her the truth."

"Do you think that will be enough?"

Glancing down at the woman in his arms, he felt that nothing he did at this point would be enough. He could never make up for lost time. He had spent his life trying to make up for past sins. Isn't that why he still carried a weapon? He had been living for others, to make up for all the lives he'd taken during the Revolution, but what could he do to make up for this?

"I just wanted her to be happy," he said softly, hoping it would be enough for Jasmine to understand.

"So you selflessly gave her up for some other dashing young man to come sweep her off her feet, is that it?"

When he didn't say anything in reply, she sighed heavily.

"When will you see that leaving her was the most selfish thing you could have done?"

"What do you mean?"

"You fool! By leaving, you took away the last bit of happiness she had. Did you ever stop to think what this might do to her? You knew what she'd been through."

In all the time he'd known her, he'd never heard Jasmine sound so angry. Glancing sideways at her, he saw her tears of frustration.

"Jasmine I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I overreacted. I understand your reasoning somewhat. Your actions show you loved Jade enough to want the best for her. I'm just upset because in all the time you'd been with her, you never thought that perhaps _**you **_were the best for her."

Neither of them said any more the rest of the way to the dojo. When they finally arrived there, Kaoru was the first to greet them.

"Kenshin, you're ho-, oh, who's this?"

"Miss Kaoru, these are two friends of mine, Jade and Jasmine. They needed a place to stay so Jade can recuperate, so I thought maybe you would be willing to let them use one of the open rooms."

"Oh, well of course, if they are friends of yours. Come this way."

"Wow Missy, I don't think you've ever cooked a dinner this good," Sano said with his mouth full of food.

"Yeah this is great! Did you go for cooking lessons or something?" Yahiko added.

"Actually I didn't cook it. It was Jasmine-chan," Kaoru said, slightly annoyed that yet another person was better than her in cooking.

Sanosuke turned to look at Jasmine who had a placid smile on her face. He couldn't help but wonder at how two sisters who looked so alike could be so different personality wise. By observing her actions and listening to her speech, he could tell she had a phlegmatic temperament. He liked that because, in a way, he was similar.

Jasmine's eyes shifted until they were looking at him and he quickly looked away, realizing he had been staring at her. His embarrassment didn't last long however, and he slowly lifted his eyes back up to hers. She was still looking at him, and he noticed now that her smile contained a hint of sadness. She was good at hiding it, but he knew she worried about her sister, and with good reason.

The other girl was obviously struggling with some kind of inner turmoil and her "tough girl" routine was all just an act to hide whatever it is she was feeling. He knew because he sometimes did the same thing.

"Oh, what about Kenshin? Isn't he coming in for dinner?"

"He's still keeping an eye on Jade," Sano said, noticing how Kaoru's eye twitched slightly. She wasn't liking the fact that some other girl was getting all of Kenshin's attention. Sano predicted some intense competition, and it would be interesting to see how things turned out.

"You don't have to worry; I already took him some dinner. My sister is still asleep, and he said he didn't want to leave," Jasmine explained. Kaoru tried to smile politely, but ended up with a confusing grin/frown. Sano tried not to snicker, covering his mouth with his hand and pretending to cough.

Once everyone was finished eating, Jasmine sprang to work, gathering the dishes together.

"Oh you don't have to do that," Kaoru said, half-rising.

"No please, it's the least I can do. If it weren't for your generosity, we would probably be sleeping in the streets tonight."

Kaoru sat back down and watched Jasmine continue. Sano noticed her struggling to carry everything and quickly leaned forward to help. He could see the others looking at him in surprise. They were used to him never doing anything to help, but something compelled him to assist her.

She smiled at him in thanks and together they carried the dishes off to the kitchen.

"Thank you for helping me carry the dishes."

He shrugged.

"Since I'm here, I might as well help with the washing up as well."

She smiled again, a sweet, genuine smile that made his heart skip a beat. Clearing his throat, he grabbed the bucket and headed for the door.

"I'll get water."

Sano quickly went outside and drew water from the well before going back inside. Jasmine had already stacked all the dishes next to the sink and rolled up her sleeves. Sano walked over with the water and poured it into the sink.

"Thank you, Sanosuke-san."

She set to work, oblivious to the fact that he was watching her. He still couldn't believe she was a manslayer. He had heard tales of two mysterious female manslayers who had appeared close to the end of the Revolution, but had figured it was just a myth.

"So, you fought in the Revolution?"

Jasmine stopped working for a moment, glancing sideways at him before shaking her head and smiling.

"I did, yes."

"Is that how you met Kenshin?"

"No we knew him before that, when we were 15 years old. He helped my sister escape from her abusive husband."

"Your sister was married at 15?"

"Actually she married him when she was 13."

"What?!"

Jasmine kept her eyes on what her hands were doing, but he could see she was reminiscing.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you. It might help answer some of your questions."

Was it that obvious that he wondered about them? He felt a bit embarrassed for being so nosy, but he just couldn't help himself. He wanted to know who they were; who _**she **_was.

"You don't have to explain anything to me."

"No I don't, but I want to. You have an honest and trustworthy face."

He was surprised by her words. No one had ever called him honest or trustworthy.

"We grew up without a mother, and our father was a gambler. He was always getting himself into trouble, and one day it was the last straw. He owed a certain man a lot of money, and in exchange for his debts being cleared, he gave us up. The man, Hideki was his name, took Jade as his wife and sold me to a woman who ran a Geisha school. That's how we lived for two years until Kenshin came along. He took us out of Kyoto and found us a place to stay in the village of Otsu. The man we lived with was a friend of Kenshin's, and it was him who taught us swordsmanship. We joined the Imperialists two years later, and the rest is history."

"And what about Jade and Kenshin? Did something happen between them?"

Jasmine was silent for a while, and he felt that maybe he had gone too far, but she removed her hands from the murky water and turned to face him.

"Jade has always been wary of men because of what she'd been put through by our father and her husband, but Kenshin showed her something she never thought a man could – he showed her love."

"Are you saying those two were . . ."

She nodded, but her eyes became suddenly sad.

"Kenshin disappeared shortly after the Revolution ended without saying anything to her. In short, he abandoned her."

"I can't believe that!"

"Of course he hadn't meant it to be that way. He had good intentions, but you can see how things turned out. My sister became this. . .this different person. This front she puts up for everyone to see is not the real Jade."

"I thought it might be something like that."

"Don't think badly of her, Sanosuke-kun. She's just trying to forget, though she goes about it the wrong way. If she'd just let me help her, but. . .but. . ."

Tears began to roll down her cheeks and she turned away, covering her face with her hands. Sano stepped towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

". . .but she doesn't even let you in, is that it?"

She nodded, unable to speak. He understood now. Things were a lot more complex than he had imagined. And poor Jasmine was stuck in the middle of it all.

He turned her body towards him and gently placed his arms around her. She didn't resist him, leaning into his embrace.

For Sanosuke, this was completely out of his character, but he couldn't help himself.

He wanted to see her smile.


	16. Chapter 16

_16_

_**Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit,**_

_**Sometimes I just want to hide 'coz its you I miss**_

_**And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this.**_

_HURT – CHRISTINA AGUILERA_

Kenshin and Jasmine walked side by side down the road, each one carrying a bag of groceries. As they passed by the river, Kenshin paused and tilted his face up to the sky, reminded of all the times he and Jade had gone for walks together back when things had still be good between them.

"Kenshin, are you alright?" Jasmine asked once she had realized he was no longer walking with her.

"Yes I'm fine," he answered, smiling and hurrying to catch up to her.

"We'd better hurry. The others are probably hungry."

Kenshin nodded, but his mind was a million miles away. Jade and Jasmine had been staying at the dojo for nearly two days now, and still he hadn't spoken to Jade. That wasn't for lack of trying; she just refused to talk to anyone. She just sat there, staring at the wall.

"Are you worried about Jade?"

"No no, I just. . . well, I guess I am a little worried."

"Don't worry. Just give her some time. She's too stubborn for her own good. She doesn't even want to talk to me because it was my decision to bring her here. Really, she's like a small child."

"I guess you're right."

They passed through the gates at the dojo's entrance and were immediately greeted by Sanosuke.

"There you are."

"Ah, did you miss me that much, Sano-kun?" Jasmine asked teasingly.

Kenshin watched in amusement as the other man's cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"I'm just hungry, that's all."

"Well if you'll help me I can have lunch ready in a couple of minutes."

Sano took the packages from Kenshin's arms and followed after the younger twin. Kenshin shook his head as he watched them go. He had never seen Sanosuke so smitten with a girl before. He was like her obedient slave, though of course he'd never admit it.

"Kenshin!"

The swordsman turned his attention to the female voice that called him and smiled slightly as Kaoru approached.

"Hello Miss Kaoru."

"I was wondering where you were. Could you help me out with the washing, please? I have lessons after lunch, so I won't be able to do it."

Kenshin was slightly surprised by her odd behavior. She normally never asked him to do something so politely. It was always more along the lines of "you're staying here for free so you _**will **_do the laundry". Not only the extra niceness, but she was slightly louder than normal.

He glanced over her shoulder and saw the door to Jade's room was open.

So that was it.

It was obvious she considered Jade's presence as a threat, and now she was deliberately trying to make her jealous by being extra nice to Kenshin.

He doubted it would work. The harder Kaoru tried to get Jade's attention, the harder Jade worked at ignoring him and everyone else.

"Of course. I'll start on it as soon as lunch is done."

She gave him a sweet smile – too sweet in fact – and turned to leave. It was then that he noticed she was wearing her favorite floral kimono, the one she only wore when they went out somewhere.

He watched her disappear into the dojo before deciding he might as well get the water ready so long. As he walked over to the well, he caught sight of some movement in Jade's room.

She appeared in the doorway, hobbling outside and taking a seat on the porch in the sun. She wore a simple white robe that stopped just above her knees and her long hair hung over one shoulder in a simple plait.

Kenshin could see why Kaoru felt the need to dress up. Even in her pajamas, Jade was breathtakingly beautiful.

He went about his task of drawing water, but continued to cast furtive glances in her direction.

If she knew he was there, she didn't show it. She stretched her legs out in front of her and rested her hands behind her back, her eyes half-closed as if she were dozing.

He remembered the time when they'd first met. Back then, he had been the injured one who sat on the porch, watching her as she went about her chores. Now the roles were reversed, though she didn't make it clear if she was watching him or not.

"Lunch is ready! Oh, Onee-chan, glad to see you're up and about. Is your foot feeling ok?" Jasmine asked as she walked out of the kitchen carrying a bowl of rice and followed by Sanosuke who carried the fish.

Jade nodded, but Kenshin saw her eyes narrow ever so slightly as she watched Sano. No doubt she had picked up on the chemistry between the two; yet another reason, Kenshin thought, for her to want to leave.

And she was starting to walk around, despite the slight limp. Another day or two and she would be well enough to walk.

He was running out of time.

Kaoru and Yahiko appeared, and they all gathered around Jasmine to get their helping.

Kaoru and Jasmine got along well enough, but Jasmine was aware of the competition – even if at this stage it was one-sided – between her sister and the much younger girl.

Yahiko loved to torment Kaoru by dishing out excessive compliments on Jasmine's cooking, but Jasmine slyly deflected his praise, saying it was Jade who had taught her everything she knew and thus shining the spotlight on her sister who couldn't be bothered.

As lunch came to an end, Kaoru started to rise.

"Well, I'd better get going or I'll be late for – "

"Excuse me."

All eyes turned to the new speaker and were surprised to see a police officer standing in the courtyard.

"Is there something we can do for you, Officer?"

"Forgive the intrusion, but I wish to speak with Mr. Himura about a most urgent matter."

The policeman's words made everyone sit up and listen, even Jade.

"Whatever it is you have to say, you can say to us all, that you can."

"Very well. Mr. Himura, I have come here today with the purpose of asking a favor of you. This is a problem relating to the authority of the government."

"Please, won't you sit down and tell us more."

They all rose and went inside where it was cooler. Kenshin sat in the doorway with his back resting against the frame and his eyes closed as he prepared to listen to the policeman.

"There have been several incidents that have been kept out of the news for nearly a decade since they began. I beg you, we need your assistance in order to arrest a serial killer."

"A serial killer that has been killing for nearly a decade? That's a long time to keep this a secret," Sano said. The policeman nodded before continuing.

"A swordsman of amazing skill; we have codenamed Kurogasa. For the past 10 years he has only chosen famous politicians of the government as his targets – all of whom were Imperialists!"

"All of them were Imperialists?" Kaoru asked.

Kenshin opened his eyes long enough to glance at Jade and Jasmine who, after exchanging worried glances, looked over at him.

"He announces his intended targets before murdering them. He first goes right through all guards around the politicians, and leaves behind so much death that it almost seems as if he enjoys it. Among the victims have been countless women and children."

"The police use guns, don't they? Surely they could just shoot him," Yahiko said.

"There were policemen on duty armed with guns during each incident of course, but each and every one of them was slain before they could even pull out their weapons."

The room fell silent for a moment until Jade broke it, speaking for the first time that day.

"It definitely sounds like this Kurogasa is one of us."

Kenshin turned to look outside, sighing softly to himself.

"Even though it is 10 years into the Meiji era, his heart is still obsessed with the smell and color of blood – a man who can not stop killing."

The policeman rose.

"We would appreciate it if you could help us. Here is the name and address of his next victim. If you decide to help, be there before midnight tonight."

The officer left and everyone turned to each other.

"This guy sounds pretty strong. What do you think, Kenshin?" Sano asked. The reformed manslayer knew that if he didn't help, this man would go on killing, but he was afraid that he wouldn't be strong enough to defeat another manslayer, especially since he hadn't used his blade to kill in so many years while this guy had been doing exactly that for the same amount of time. Jade rose to her feet, breaking his train of thought.

"If you don't want to go, then stay. Jasmine and I should be more than capable of handling this guy."

"What? No, you can't. This could be dangerous."

"Oh spare me your speech, Kenshin. You can say that to this girl, or even that kid, but Jasmine and I are manslayers just like you. We fought in the same battles you did. I think we can take care of ourselves."

"Onee-chan, you're still injured."

"This is nothing. I'm fine. Come on Jasmine, my sword will rust if I don't get in some practice every now and then. Besides, we'll be doing something good for the country."

"I'll go with," Kenshin said, realizing he wouldn't win against her.

"Fine, do as you like," she said with a shrug. Sano rose to his feet as well.

"Don't think you guys are going to leave me out of this one."

"Well then, that's that. I'm going to prepare. See you all later," Jade said before walking out to her room.

I stood with my back to the wall, listening to the steady ticking of the grandfather clock. It was 10 minutes to midnight and I was starting to grow anxious. If this guy was from the Revolution, then he would be a worthy opponent.

I glanced sideways at Jasmine who was standing next to Sanosuke. The punk still carried no weapon, and I wondered if he actually had a death wish. Kenshin was standing closer to the politician we were supposed to protect. Besides the four of us, there were 13 other swordsmen in the room, though in my opinion they were nothing but country samurai. The hallways outside the room were guarded by policemen, as well as the perimeter.

I wondered how this Kurogasa fellow would make it inside.

The hour hand hit the twelve and the clock began to chime. I rested my hand on the hilt of my sword and waited with the rest of the men in tense silence. The clock's resounding gong continued, and still nothing happened.

Suddenly there were cries of anguish outside. Sano and Kenshin were the first to react, hurrying over to the window to see what was happening. When they glanced outside, all they saw were the dead bodies of the guards.

More cries followed, but this time they came from inside – from the hallway just outside the room.

"He's coming! Sano and I will take the front. Everyone else will follow from there," Kenshin ordered, stepping in front of the group, facing the door.

"Hey what about us?" I asked, slightly peeved that he would let a man who didn't even carry any weapons stand in front, but would keep the two of us, who had fought alongside him before, behind them.

Kenshin whirled on me, giving me a look that clearly said "don't argue with me on this, just do as I say".

I bit my tongue to prevent myself from lashing out and fell back as he had ordered.

"Sano, be careful ok," Jasmine whispered, placing a tentative arm on his shoulder before falling into place beside me.

The clock chimed for the last time and silence took over. The seconds ticked by with still no sign of the killer.

"It looks like he's not coming," someone commented. There was a sudden, startled cry of pain from the back and everyone turned in surprise.

A tall figure wearing a wide brimmed hat and holding a sword in his right hand stood in the open window, a wide grin on his cruel face. He chuckled, his eyes darting around the room.

"Let's see what we've got today. One. . .two. . . three. . .what? Only 17 of you? There are less than I thought."

"Sano, I'll deal with this gentleman over here. You keep an eye on the girls and the man he's after." Kenshin whispered, but before any of us could move, the politician raised his hand.

"Go get him boys! Whoever kills him will be handsomely rewarded!"

The group of samurai charged eagerly, anxious to kill Kurogoasa and be paid their money.

"Fools," I muttered under my breath as I watched them run.

Kurogasa raised his blade and with a few swift movements, the first wave of attacking men fell. Kurogasa laughed again; it really did seem he was enjoying this.

By this time the weaker samurai had realized the danger this guy posed and they were slowly starting to back away.

But Kurogasa had other plans.

"I won't let you run away."

His eyes flashed and in an instant, every person in the room was frozen to the spot.

"Wait, what's happening? What did he do to us?" Sano asked, clearly confused by why his body refused to move.

I found that I could still move somewhat, though my limbs felt like lead. Now I understood who this man was.

"Jasmine, I remember hearing about this during the Revolution. This man is using – "

"_Nikeido method; Shino Ippo_, another name for the spell of frozen terror," Kenshin called before jumping out from behind Sano and attacking. Kurogasa has just enough time to deflect the attack, despite being caught off guard.

"As I suspected, it was you after all. I heard rumors back in Kyoto during the Revolution of one who could use Shino Ippo and could paralyze victims with the pounding energy emanating from his eyes. A stray manslayer – "

"Udou Jine!" I called, interrupting Kenshin. Jasmine and I had managed to overcome his spell, and the two of us fell back on either side of Kenshin, our swords raised and ready to attack.

Jine turned to face us, still smiling.

"Well well, what have we here? A manslayer with a cross-shaped scar on his cheek who uses _Hiten Mitsurugi_, and twin manslayers who use _nitou-ryuu_. Himura the _**Battousai**_, and _**Chi no Bara**_. Oh my, this is turning out to be so much fun."

"We'll see how much fun you have when you're smiling through your throat," I threatened darkly.

"You talk big for a woman. Luckily for you I don't have time to play with you two. I've decided my next target will be you, Battousai – the strongest of the Imperialists."

Jine's eyes flashed again, binding Kenshin with his Shino Ippo technique, but it didn't take the red-head long to break free again.

"Shino Ippo is a competition between our spirits. If the victim is at your level, then he will not fall prey to it."

While the two of them spoke, I edged closer to Jasmine.

"You understand the situation, right?"

"Hai."

"Good, then we'll attack using – " but before I could continue, they attacked each other. We could do nothing but watch as the two manslayers slashed at each other, dodging each other's attacks like they were nothing.

Even though they seemed evenly matched, I knew Kenshin was having a hard time. All those years of not fighting had a negative effect on him. Jine attacked once more and managed to cut Kenshin's arm.

"You have gotten weak, Battousai. I want to fight you as you were during the Revolution – as a manslayer. I'll give you 24 hours. Become a manslayer once more so that we can settle the score once and for all."

Jine was gone before any more could be said or done.

Jasmine tended to Kenshin's wound while Sanosuke and I stood watching. I mused over Jine's words. He wanted Kenshin to become a manslayer again. Jasmine and I knew what he was like as a manslayer, but these new friends of his didn't. If he became that person again, what would the consequences be for him and the people around him?

It was unfair for anyone to expect him to go back to being a killer. This was where he belonged.

Jasmine finished binding his wound and stepped back. I took her place, kneeling down in front of him.

"What are you planning on doing?"

"I can't go back to the dojo. If I had to see Miss Kaoru or Yahiko, it would be too difficult for me to become stronger."

"So you're planning on going back to being Battousai?"

"What else can I do?"

"Baka. You made a promise to _her _that you wouldn't kill again. I chose to become a manslayer because I wanted to help you fulfill that promise. Let me help you again. Jasmine and I will fight Jine – "

"No!" he interrupted, raising his head sharply to look at me. I frowned at his sudden outburst.

"I won't let you," he continued.

"Why not?! Is it because I'm a woman? Do you still see me as that weak?" I asked, exasperated by his reluctance. His eyes locked with mine and I felt my breath catch in my throat.

"You know why," he whispered. I clenched my eyes shut and shook my head.

_Liar!_

He didn't care; he was just trying to play hero again. Yes, that was it.

I grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him closer to me.

"If you want to be so damned stubborn then fine, but don't pretend you actually care about what happens to us. If you cared even a little for me, then you wouldn't have left."

I roughly let go of his shirt and stood up, straightening myself and glowering down at him.

"Jade please. . ." he pleaded softly. I averted my gaze to the floor, struggling against the conflicting emotions raging inside of me.

"I hate you," I whispered.

His eyes widened, but I didn't want to see his hurt. Turning away from them, I made a beeline for the exit.

"Onee-chan, wait! Oi Onee-chan, where are you going?

Come back!"


	17. Chapter 17

17

_**Where do I take this pain of mine**_

_**I run but it stays right by my side**_

_**So tear me open and pour me out**_

_**There's things inside that scream and shout**_

_**And the pain still hates me**_

_**So hold me until it sleeps**_

_UNTIL IT SLEEPS – METALLICA_

Jasmine and Sanosuke walked side by side through the dojo's courtyard. Jasmine briefly glanced at the door to the room Jade was staying in, wishing her sister would talk to her.

Ever since returning without Kenshin, Jade had locked herself in her room, refusing to speak to anyone.

Jasmine worried about her.

"Do you think she's alright?" Sanosuke asked, sensing her train of thought.

"I don't know Sano-kun. I've haven't seen her like this since Kenshin walked out on us."

"She was pretty harsh with him, saying she hates him. I've never seen Kenshin look so wounded, not even in the toughest of his battles."

"She didn't mean it I'm sure. She was upset with him and I guess all these years of hardship finally caught up with her."

"I don't know Jas-chan, she's pretty cold-hearted. It seems hard to believe she feels anything."

Jasmine turned to him angrily.

"That's not true! Jade is caring and nice and. . . ." but she faded away, realizing that what she said made no sense. Sanosuke was right; she did act cold-hearted and aloof around others.

It was only when Jasmine was around that she showed her true self.

Jasmine sighed softly.

"She didn't used to be like this. She was a loving and caring person, but that was a long time ago. She changed."

"Sanosuke!"

They turned to the voice behind them and saw Yahiko, a stricken look on his face.

"What is it Yahiko?" Sanosuke asked.

"It's Kaoru!"

The day was fading into dusk, and still I sat locked in my room, hugging my knees.

Why?

After all this time. . .

. . .why couldn't I just forget about him?

Why did it hurt so every time I looked at him?

In all my time of being a manslayer, after all the numerous injuries I had sustained, nothing ever hurt as much as this.

Kenshin hadn't changed much over time in terms of appearance, but his heart was different. Where before his soft side had often been hidden away, it was now that part of him that ruled. Jasmine had been right; he was too good a person.

I closed my eyes, but the image of his face swam before me. The hurt in his eyes haunted me, and guilt swept over my body.

I shouldn't have spoken so rashly. Though I continued to deny it, I still loved him, and always would.

I just struggled to forgive.

A sharp knock at my door alerted me of my sister's presence.

"Jade! Kaoru has been kidnapped by Jine!" she shouted.

I gripped my sword tightly, but made no move to get up.

"Jade! I know you're in there! We must help them."

"Go without me Jasmine. I'm sure you can manage."

I could sense her fuming in anger, but she turned abruptly without a word and stalked off.

Soon the dojo was silent and I knew they were all gone.

_Kaoru. Stupid girl, she shouldn't have tried to get involved._

_**She did it because she was worried about Kenshin. It should have been you going to look for him.**_

_Kenshin is old enough to make his own decisions._

_**Do you think he wants to go back to being a manslayer? You know him best; you should know how this decision is killing him.**_

_I offered to take his place._

_**Of course he's not going to let you! He's always looked out for you.**_

_Lies, lies! It's all lies!_

_**The only lies here are the ones you keep telling yourself. Kenshin would die for you and you know it.**_

_He doesn't care._

_**Didn't you see the look on his face when you said you hate him? Your words stabbed at his heart far deeper than any real weapon could.**_

I covered my face with my hands, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill.

_**He's doing this because you pushed him into a corner. He knows that if he doesn't do it, you will, and he won't let you face Jine. He's going to become a manslayer again for you; he's going to break his promise to Tomoe for you; he's going to lose his friends, and it will all be your fault!**_

"Oh Kenshin! What have I done?"

My eyes snapped open and I got to my feet. I couldn't allow that!

Grabbing my sword, I hurried out, climbing onto the wall surrounding the dojo and looking out across the city.

Where? Where could he be?

I could easily track the others, but knowing Jasmine, they would probably take a while to get there. Her sense of direction was useless.

I jumped onto the roof and scouted the surrounding areas.

My eyes landed on a small forest not far from here.

There!

They would be there, I was certain.

I quickly climbed back down and took off running as fast as my legs would carry me. It didn't take me long to arrive in the woods and I immediately sensed an ominous presence.

I had been right.

Following my gut, I emerged in a clearing. A small wooden structure that resembled a shed stood in my path and I could hear voices coming from the other side. Quietly I crept around the structure.

Jine and Kenshin were facing each other, arguing over something. Kaoru sat just inside the door of the shed, her hands and feet bound with thick rope.

With Jine distracted, I decided to try and reach her, but Jine spun around just as I was nearing her and hissed, "Did you think I wouldn't notice you?"

"Jade look out!" Kenshin shouted, but it was too late. I saw Jine's eyes flash and my body became paralyzed.

But something wasn't right. For some reason my chest felt tight. I clawed at my closed throat, trying desperately to breathe.

Remembering Kenshin's words on how the spell could be broken if your spirit was strong enough, I struggled against his power, but my attempts were in vain. The strength of his spell was stronger than the last time.

Jine laughed.

"What did you do to her?" Kenshin demanded, his voice shaking.

"I've used a spell that is slightly stronger than the one I used when we first met. It's so strong that it's frozen her lungs, preventing her from breathing. At this rate, she'll last 5 minutes, but if she continues to fight it, that time will shorten."

"Release her, now!" Kenshin shouted angrily. Jine chuckled in amusement again.

"There are only two ways to break the spell. The first is if her spirit is strong enough to overcome it. The second is if you kill me. So, what will it be, Battousai? Are you going to stand there watching her suffocate, or are you going to try and save her?"

Kenshin turned his gaze to me as I dropped to my knees. I looked up at him, fighting desperately to speak.

"Ken . . .shin. . .Ken. . .I. . ."

"Don't try to speak, Jade!" he called in alarm. I shook my head furiously, knowing I had to say what I wanted to say before it was too late. My chest was already burning from lack of air.

"I. . .I'm. . .s. .s. .sorry. . .Ken. . .sh. . .shin," I managed to get out.

His face transformed, his frown fading away. I saw his eyes widen in fear.

"Don't give up! I'll save you Jade! I promise!" he called before raising his sword.

The two clashed once again, but I could see Jine still had the upper hand.

_Please! Kenshin can't die here!_

I struggled desperately against Jine's Shino Ippo spell, but I wasn't at the same level as either Kenshin or Jine. My head was starting to hurt and the world around me became fuzzy with each blink.

Was this it?

Was I going to die?

Perhaps it was better this way. I would finally be free. Jasmine had Sanosuke, and Kenshin had Kaoru. They'd be alright without me.

I raised my eyes to look at Kenshin who was still fighting desperately against Jine and smiled slightly before closing my eyes and allowing myself to fall.

_Dark._

_Why is it so dark?_

_Where is this?_

_**Onee-chan.**_

_Jasmine? Is that you?_

_**Gomen, nee-chan. I can't take it anymore. You always keep me at arm's length. Me, your own sister!**_

_Jasmine, I'm sorry._

_**Sorry isn't good enough, not anymore. I'm leaving.**_

_Wait! You can't go! Don't leave me alone! Jasmine? Jasmine?!_

_**She's gone, Jade.**_

_Otosan?_

_**You never were good for much. Look at you, even your own sister has deserted you.**_

_No, stop it. What do you know? You gave us up!_

_**I am your father. I know you better than you think.**_

_Jasmine loves me. She'll come back._

_**Do you really believe that, Jade?**_

_Kenshin?_

_**I used to love you, and even I couldn't take it.**_

_I never did anything but love you, Kenshin. I don't understand what I did to make you leave._

_**You were always in the way. I didn't ask you to follow me back to Kyoto.**_

_But I just wanted to help you! I didn't want to see you die!_

_**You made things difficult for me.**_

_I'm sorry. Come back please. Make the pain stop._

_**Your own bitterness and anger has tainted your blood. I cannot love you anymore.**_

_But you said you love me! You said you love me more than Tomoe! You gave me freedom! You taught me to love again! Don't leave me, please I'm begging you!_

_**It's too late.**_

_No, it's not!_

_**It's too late.**_

_Stop it!_

_**It's too late.**_

_Please! I don't want to be alone! I don't want to be alone anymore! Don't leave me in the dark!_

_**. . .too late. . .**_

_Come back! It's dark and cold here!_

_**. . .late. . .**_

_Save me! Please, save what's left of me. Please. . . _

I woke abruptly and found myself staring at the ceiling. For some odd reason I had a headache and my throat felt like it was on fire.

Slowly my memories started to return.

Wasn't I supposed to be dead? I thought when you died you were supposed to gain eternal peace, not feel like a train had hit you.

"Jade, are you awake?"

My entire body tensed up at the sound of his voice. What the hell was going on here? Was this another one of my crazy dreams?

"Where am I?"

"At the dojo."

"Does that mean I'm not dead?"

"No, you're very much alive."

There were many more questions I wanted to ask, like what had happened to Jine, but decided now wasn't the time.

"I see. Where is Jasmine?"

"She's somewhere around here. I actually want to talk to you - alone."

"So talk."

He fell silent for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts, before I heard him sigh softly.

"I'm sorry, Jade. So very sorry."

_Sorry he says. . . _

I sat upright, pushing my hair back out of my face.

"Don't say things you don't mean, Kenshin."

"I _**do **_mean it! I know I should have explained to you before I left – "

"Kenshin, you leaving was all the explanation I needed."

Realizing I felt too weak to move, I lay back down with my back to him. I didn't like the fact that every time he was near me, my chest started to ache.

The room became so silent that I figured he had left. Sighing, I closed my eyes.

I felt something shift behind me and before I could even open my eyes, I felt him lie down beside me, his back pressed to mine.

"It might not seem like it, but I never stopped loving you," he said, his voice so soft I almost didn't hear him.

"I thought I told you not to say things you don't mean."

He was quiet for a few moments before I felt him draw in a shaky breath.

"It hurts, doesn't it?"

When I didn't answer his question, he continued.

"It's like there's nothing but empty space where your heart used to be. You try to forget about it and move on with your life, but every day the burden becomes heavier, until it feels like you can't move. When you lie alone in your bed, your body becomes numb. You can't think; you can't breathe. All you feel is this dull ache in your chest, and with every beat of your broken heart, the pain spreads – like a poison."

My eyes widened in surprise. How did he know all that? How could he possibly understand what it felt like? I felt my eyes start to tear up and struggled against the rising lump in my throat. A part of me wanted to pull away from him, but the other part relished in the feel of his body against mine. The warmth of his skin was slowly seeping through to me, spreading throughout my body and heating me up from the inside out.

"When you collapsed, I thought you'd left me forever. I was scared out of my mind."

Slowly I turned to look at him. He did the same, staring deeply into my eyes. He brought his hand up to my face, tracing along my jaw with his fingers. I was surprised to see some moisture in his eyes.

"I kept thinking, "I'll never get a chance to explain why I left. I'll never get a chance to see her smile at me like she always used to. I'll never get a chance to tell her I love her.""

"Why? Explain it to me so I'll understand. What did I do wrong?" I asked, not even aware of the fat tears that dripped down my face.

"You were so perfect. You didn't judge me, and you actually understood what I was feeling. But I kept thinking of what I'd done. I didn't deserve you, not as the person I was. Near the end of the Revolution, I realized I couldn't erase my bloody past, and there would always be someone who would hold that against me – like Enishi. I told you before. You deserved someone who would _**always **_be by your side."

That was it? He felt unworthy? Something so stupid had kept us apart all these years?

"Kenshin, you idiot."

He smiled before leaning towards me and placing a light kiss on the tip of my nose.

"Ne Jade, do you remember what you said to me on our last night together?"

I smiled at the memory, shaking my head.

"I said a lot of things to you that night."

"Jade, I want to be with you tonight."

"Didn't I say that to you?"

"I'm saying it to you now."

"What? But – "

His lips collided with mine, cutting off my words and taking me by surprise. It felt so good, but I placed my hands against his chest and broke away.

"Kenshin, we can't just – "

But again I was cut off when his lips claimed mine. This kiss was more passionate than the first, and I felt myself start to become lost in it. Mentally slapping myself, I pushed away from him again.

"Oi, you're not listening to me!"

Smirking, he rolled me onto my back and climbed over me until he was straddling my waist with his hands pressed on either side of my head. He lowered his face and left a trail of kisses from my collarbone up to my cheek.

"If you want me to go, just say so," he whispered.

_Yes, tell him to go_

_But I don't want him to, oh but it would be better if he did, but it feels so good. AH! Why can't I stop him?!_

I was so confused by my feelings, and all these extra sensations weren't helping me think clearly.

Where would this all lead? What would happen in the morning?

Despite what I was thinking, I didn't protest, and he took my silence as permission to continue.

He kissed my mouth again, and this time I could feel his hunger. Ripples of pleasure ran down my spine as he slipped his tongue into my mouth, causing me to arch my back.

His hands began to roam, searching for sensitive spots. His fingers traced along my sides, moving down to my legs.

My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.

It didn't matter anymore. I wanted to pretend he was mine, and only mine.

_Just this once . . ._


	18. Chapter 18

_18_

_**It's not the tree that forsakes the flower**_

_**But the flower that forsakes the tree**_

_**Someday I'll learn to love these scars**_

_**Still fresh from the red-hot blade of your words**_

_**. . .Bye bye beautiful!**_

_BYE BYE BEAUTIFUL – NIGHTWISH_

It was late morning and Kenshin still lay sleeping. He had a peaceful look on his face.

I sat in the corner of the room with my robe loosely draped across my shoulders, staring blankly at the man in my bed.

The letter I held in my hand slipped from my cold fingers and fluttered to the ground.

_Shit Jade, why do you do this to yourself?_

After 10 years you'd think I would know better by now. Sighing I rose to my feet and tied the belt of my robe before slipping out.

I walked to the kitchen, scratching my head in frustration. I wondered if they had any sake hidden away somewhere.

As I approached the kitchen, I heard heart-wrenching sobs coming from one of the other rooms. Frowning, I tiptoed over to the room and listened.

"Oh Miss Megumi, it's not fair! I love him so much, but he doesn't even notice me!"

That sounded like Kaoru's voice. If so, then she could only be talking about one person.

"Oh that's not true."

"Yes it is! Things were going so well between us until those sisters came along. Now look! He even spent the night in her room."

"Don't overreact. I'm sure he was just watching over her. She did almost die."

"Then why didn't her sister stay with her? I don't want to lose him. I would do anything for him. _Anything_!"

"I know you would, and I'm sure he knows that too. He won't leave you, don't worry. He has lots of friends here that would miss him too much."

I walked away, closing my eyes sadly.

It would always be this way. A lot of people depended on Kenshin. They needed him. And that letter I'd found just supported this fact.

The Revolution had ended, but many things still needed to change. The government needed Kenshin on their side.

I knew Kenshin. He had always had a passion to help people. That was who he was. If Kenshin wanted to come with me, he would have to turn down the government's request for help. He couldn't be both soldier and lover. The guilt of having to neglect either the one or the other would always eat away at him.

I couldn't put him through that again.

I couldn't put myself through that again.

10 years was a long time to spend apart. We were different people now. I had fallen in love with the Kenshin from the Revolution.

Kaoru had fallen in love with the Kenshin of today, the person he now was.

I realized now that I was holding Kenshin back. I was even holding Jasmine back.

Kenshin was always worrying about being unworthy of me when in reality _**I **_was the unworthy one. Jasmine stayed with me out of loyalty, but all that meant was I was keeping her away from having her own life.

Sanosuke was a good guy, even if we didn't always see eye to eye. Kaoru was a sweet girl who would be able to give Kenshin what he needed. A fresh start.

I loved Kenshin yes, but he never was, nor would he ever be, mine.

That was just the way things were.

I went back to my room and slipped inside. Kenshin was still fast asleep, unaware of my presence. Smiling, I walked over to his sleeping figure and knelt down, planting a kiss on his lips.

"I forgive you Kenshin, and I hope you can forgive me for what I did to you. Be sure Sanosuke treats my sister right, ok? This is our last goodbye. I think now we can finally put everything behind us and live.

Never forget that I love you, now and forever."

_**Otsu, 1889**_

"Okasan, what's for dinner tonight?"

"I don't know, what do you want to have for dinner?"

"Hm. . .beef pot!"

I laughed and placed my hand on the boy's head.

"Shinta, we had beef last night."

"Can't we have it again?"

"What about some fried fish?"

The boy smiled – as smile that reminded me so much of his father.

Every year that went by he became more like the man his father had been.

"Okasan? Why are you looking at me so strangely?"

"Oh I was just thinking of how much you look like your father."

"Ne ne, tell me again about my father! Please!"

"Well alright. Let's see, your father was a very strong man, but he never used his strength to hurt people. He always protected the innocent."

"And what did he look like?"

I laughed, stroking some of his red hair out of his eyes.

"Silly, he looks like you."

The two of us walked up the path leading to our little house on the hill – the very same hill where Kenshin had lived with Tomoe. When I came here 10 years ago, there had been nothing but rubble, but with some help from Saita-sensei and a lot of hard work, there was now a nice place for me and my son to live in.

Shinta suddenly stopped walking, hanging his head sadly.

"Shinta? What's wrong?"

"Do you think papa would have liked me?"

I felt an ache form in my chest at his words. Since I had left Kenshin before I knew I was pregnant, Shinta had grown up thinking his father had died. It was the best thing I could tell him since I didn't even know if Kenshin was still in Tokyo or if he had wandered off again.

I walked over to my son – _**our **_son – and wrapped my arms around him.

"I think, iie, I _**know **_he loves you very much and he's sorry he couldn't be here for you while you were growing up. You mustn't think badly of him. Your father would never, ever do anything to hurt you. Ok?"

Shinta's frown faded and he smiled, nodding. I smiled back at him and held out my hand. He took it and together we walked up to the house.

Shinta and I lived alone. No one knew where we lived, and the only information I had on my sister was through the occasional letter she sent to Saita-san. Luckily for me she had kept in contact with the old man, so whenever he heard anything new, he would tell me.

He asked me every time why I didn't want to let Jasmine know I was here, but I always said it was better this way. I knew she thought about me, as I thought about her. Maybe one day I would take Shinta to see her and Sanosuke.

Apparently they were very happy together. They were already expecting their second child, which was great news.

I wondered how she would react if she knew I too was a mother. She would be surprised to say the least, but she would no doubt love Shinta too.

"Okasan, can I have a sword for my birthday?"

"A sword? Why do you want a sword?"

"So I can become strong like my father and protect the innocent!"

I stopped at the door and watched as he walked inside before turning to look at the _sakura_ tree that was in full bloom. Stepping closer to it, I placed my hand against the bark, looking up at the light pink petals that adorned ever branch.

_Do you hear that, Kenshin? He wants to be like you. I pray that he will continue to grow into a good man, and that one day he will make you proud enough to say. . . _

"Okasan! Where are you?"

"I'm coming!"

_. . .well done, my son._

End


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